Please advise...does anyone elses Y1 DS struggle with writing?

[fishingfilly]

Right Im having realy probelms with DS just started Y1 and basically HATES school (was never like this in reception in fact loved school) Getting upset, not wanting to go etc... He says the reason is because it's really, really hard.

A couple of things he's mentioned are the usual no toys and having to sit on the carpet for HOURS but more concerning he says he hates writing and numbers and this is getting him very worked up.

He says everyone else writes fast and completes there work in time...he says he cant figure it out in time what he has to write and it makes him slow also he has to put in full stops and he is not sure.

With numbers, he says he is the ONLY one that uses a number line. I think he is quite good at numbers but he says not.

It is obviously bothering him as I have tears every morning and when I take him into school he is so clingy. I told him we can do 1 minute a night pracitsing writing/numbers at home.

What do you advise? How did you or have you helped your dc.

Do you think I should have a brief meeting with teacher - more the fact that I want to help in him at home and need ideas from her I suppose on how I can do this

I just want my little man to go to school happy - never had this in reception he adored school but now is very, very unhappy and sad

Hi fishingfilly,

My ds is in same boat so will watch your thread with interest.

Your poor DS I would talk to his teacher and see if she suggests any activities for him.

My DS is in yr 1, he's an August born, so quite young but is finding writing difficult. His teacher has mentioned doing hand exercises with him to strengthen his hand, which we've been doing but he's shattered when he gets home so the last thing I want to do is force him to do extra work. I bought some plasticine that we roll into balls which he then picks up with a peg or his fingers, peas work just as well. He's happy doing this as it's fun and doesn't feel like work...

Good luck, hope you get some useful advice

yes... both my sons (age 6 & 8) hate writing. They like reading, and don't have any trouble knowing what to say. They're even happy to type it up but they do their very best to avoid actually up picking up a pencil and writing the words down.

They say to me that they can't see the point. Obviously I tell them that its very important but then I look at my keyboard and inwardly agree with them that handwriting is not all that important any more, apart from at school.

When was the last time you hand wrote anything more than a post-it note?

Thanks for replies I was hoping for lots and lots as I feel I am the only one going through this - all other mums (mainly girls) are saying their kids love school and love writing.

LublieAva - yes I know what youre saying but hand writing is still important isnt it

Maloofysmum - I dont think its his strength I think he find its hard to sit down concentrate and do the job in hand, I think he gets bored and doesnt focus Im so sure he can do this.

I watched Gareth Malone recently and I think it really is a boy trait.

come on surely there must be some others out there that can help us 3 mums in dire need of some help, advice!!!

Hi Filly

DS is 5.7 I think and he is in Y1.
About 90% still use number-lines as far as I can tell
They dont do massive amounts of writing, and what he does produce is not terribly legible ....

Luckily he is not upset by it at ll - hurrah for his lack of awareness!!

Seriously tho, when are you due to see his teacher for parents evening? I really would try and grab some time from her- if you have soft start maybe, or arrange to pop in after school to find out if he really is behind or if he is just sensitive and stressing?

I'm pretty sure my kids weren't expected to do much writing, particularly full stops etc, this early on in year 1. Seems hard for that age group. Poor little chap, could put him for life. The school need to ease up a bit I think, plenty of time for writing and punctuation.

My daughter is not getting writing very well at all. She is 5.4. She can do some letters. She forms others in an odd way but they look ok. Some she cannot do at all. I am trying not to worry. She is young. They do develop at different rates. It has to remain fun or they may switch off. I just get her to draw, colour in, cod-write, doodle - whatever she wants to keep the pen associated with play and curiosity and not chores. As for numbers....her grasp is very basic, but the odd shopping game helps to keep it in the mind.

I agree with everything everyone is saying and I agree that they are very young still, plenty of time for full stops and punctuatione etc... but it's DS that's getting upset and its making him hate school, fret etc...

Ive told him constantly that what he is doing is fine, it's not a race who can finish the first etc... and that as long as he tries that's great.

Parent's evening is mid Nov but Im going to make an appt to see teacher this week I think.

Hey ho

I have just, this morning, been helping out in my dd's yr1 class. They were supposed to be re-writing a well known story and they had been told to try to remember full stops and capital letters, so I think this must be a normal yr1 target. There was a huge variation in ability - some were very clear, quick writers, others not so. Some tried to write the story word for word, others understood the idea of capturing the main events and writing them down.

Lots of the spellings were "creative" and much of the end result was pretty hard to read as many of the letters were poorly formed. I think your ds may be just seeing the ones who find it easy and comparing himself with them - I'm sure there are plenty of others finding the writing difficult at this stage. It definitely does seem far more challenging for them than reception and some children will find it tricky to make the transition.

I would definitely try to have a chat with the teacher about ways to boost his confidence, rather than worrying about his actual achievements at this stage.

Runoutofideas - youve hit the nail.

He mentioned that he had to re-write a story and he missed a bit out and it was hard to put in full stops.

I said that it was good that he had remembered that he had missed a bit out but just add it to the end...he said as he hadnt finished it he had to stay in at playtime

That seems tough - to keep him in at playtime. The class I was helping in had clearly started it last week, but there were loads who hadn't finished and they were the ones I was helping this morning.
It did seem like quite a hard thing for lots of them to do. They found it difficult trying to read their own writing to work out how far they had got too.
To me it sounds like your son is not struggling any more than most of them, but he's maybe just more sensitive to it. My own dd is a bit like that. Will always point ot who is better than her at things, rather than what her own strong points are. I think confidence building is the key, and not putting any pressure on them at home because school really is quite hard work for them at the moment.

Yes he doesnt seem to belive in himself, same with swimming lessons get to pool and its tears, I cant do it, during lesson he;s all smiles, and comes out having a had a great time. I tell him constantly that he is doing really, really well.

Perhaps there is a pattern he is the youngest in him swimming others are 2 years old and all swim fast and well, he has just moved to thsi group and perhaps he's comparing himself.

I think meeting with teacher, lots of confidence building, hugs and kisses!

the only time my DS happily wrote about anything(then aged 5) was when he had to do a story on his favourite hobby. On that occasion he wrote 2 pages of A4. Usually he will only write 20 words or less. Maybe school need to engage children more?

(Like with web development - at first you were expected to find the web page by yourself, then websites tried to optimise their google rankings and then finally they realised that they did best by going where the users go, so they developed facebook apps etc). Maybe schools are still thinking in the first thing?

Its quite helpful ime to try and get to the bottom of the problem...ie is ith the mechanics of writing he finds hard (ie holding pen properly etc). If thats the case any exercises to strengthen muscles will help. Ironically its actually gross muscle strength which children need to develop first in order to be able to write rather than fine motor skills. So lots of walking on hands (wheelbarrows), hanging from monkey bars/pushing and pulling heavyish things and circling arms from the shoulder all help strengthen shoulder muscles which you need to write...then fine motor exercises like squeezing playdough/threading/writing in sand...

If its knowledge of letters then thats a different problem of course!!

My DS (very dyspraxic and hypermobile) has huge difficulties with writing (in Yr 1). Teacher lets him use a scribe or laptop (they are teaching him touch typing)if the exercise is not specifically handwriting practice otherwise he would get nothing down on paper!

HTH

You sound like you are doing all the right things to me...I'm sure the confidence will come in time. (That's what I'm banking on with my dd anyway!)

I had a very similar experience with DS1 last year when he was in Y1! He's a perfectionist too, and is really self-critical. But boys of that age very often struggle with handwriting - at parents' evening last year one of his targets was to improve the neatness of his writing, and his teacher said something like "But don't worry, I'm having to say that for nearly all the boys!". I think it's a bit of a double issue of having the motor skills to control a pen and the patience / desire to sit still and concentrate. The good news is there has been a huge improvement in both his writing and his confidence about it in the last year. It just seems to come with practice and their general development. I did encourage him to do plenty of little bits of writing at home eg shopping lists, Christmas cards, labelling his pictures, and made sure he got plenty of praise for what he did. Definitely talk to your son's teacher, though, both to make sure she knows she's finding it difficult and to see if she's got any suggestions. It will get better, I promise, especially when he's got such a supportive mum .

Lord, my DD is so far away from being able to rewrite a story in her own words or in the ones given. And she couldn't write more than a sentence at a time right now. Please tell me I am not the only Y1 parent in this situation!

Hi fishing

I have a similar problem with my Yr1 boy - he hates writing and feels he 'can't do it like all the others'. He cries and hits his head if he's gets something wrong, like a letter underneath the line.

I generally wait only about 3 days with any school upset before I pop in and see the teacher. I think it best to nip any problems in the bud and see the teacher early before they have become huge issues.

I saw DSs teacher last week and she was lovely. She seemed very bothered that he was so upset at home about writing and expressing reluctance to come to school. Anyway she reassured me he is doing fine, that it is something that he struggles with but no more than most and that confidence boosting was the key. So she said to praise any attempt he made to write at home, she'll do the same at school and she'll lay off from pointing out incorrect things for a while until he's settled again.

She also suggested we try lots of things like hama beads, scissors, gluing & sticking at home, colouring etc, but no practice on actual writing, unless he initiates it himself. So if he starts writing a letter to Grandma say, I should praise and help him, but that I shouldn't try and get him to do anything like this. Remove all pressure to perform is where she's coming from I think. Also she said she'll keep an eye on his table during class to see if anyone might be being mean to him and commenting on his work.

I'd agree with the poster who suggested gross motor development would help - I read this somewhere, that kids need lots of climbing, throwing, jumping practice to help them develop fine motor skills.

thank you everyone feel abit better about it all now...it breaks my heart to see him so upset.

I agree telsa - it's amazing that some kids can re-write a story in their own words - at 5/6yrs!

My son gets half way through a sentence and starts to tire so needs lots of encouragement to finish it.

I think the targets can make things pretty pushy in Yr1 and even more so in Yr2. I wish there was less pressure in primary education, it just seems relentless and unnecessary.

not a mention tonight about school so will see what the morning brings.

Gosh loads of tears this morning but have booked a meeting with Teacher for Thursday straight after school

I'm sorry your son is so distressed by this - it can't be nice for any of you. Hopefully the meeting with the teacher will help. Fingers crossed for you.

Yes we had this also its such a huge transition from reception dont you think...Im sure he will be find as the weeks go on.

Im surprised that so little people commented it must be a very common thing

It is a HUGELY common thing don't worry. When you talk to the teacher go armed. How much Talk for Writing is she doing? Has she tried using Pie Corbett's techniques to engage boys. I once had a class of very reluctant writers - mostly boys - but it was amazing how much they wanted to write to a naughty tiger to invite him to tea, or how keen they were to show an illiterate giant how to hold a pen and make letters, or how keen they were to write guides to children on taking care of dangerous dragons!! Re-writing a story you've already been told? Why? What is the point? I'm with the boys on this one - we only ever pick up a pen or tap on our keyboards when we have got something we WANT to communicate - that's the key - rich, purposeful tasks that get children excited.

DS 5yrs in mixed yr1 and yr2 class, really no ability to write. We struggle to get him to copy write just a few words.

Loves reading, great imagination and really interested in the world but hates writing, doesn't want to and actively avoids it and makes endless excuses not to try, from hand aching to arm falling off!