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Am very concerned - helpful advice appreciated

43 replies

jaded · 07/10/2010 14:39

Question about reading levels here. My DD is way behind on level 1 plus ORT kipper books and has just started year one. I have told her teacher that I am concerned and would like to know how to help at home. Her teacher says that I shouldn't worry and that she is at the level expected. She also says that she will be taught how to read at school and not to help her at home as she already has a full day at school. I am not convinced by this and we (my husband as well) are helping her with flashcards, reading ORT books from the library, listening to jolly phonics cd and we also continue reading story books to her. What else should I do to help? Do you think the teacher has the right attitude? Does anyone have experience of their child moving very quickly through the levels in a year?

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mathanxiety · 09/10/2010 08:38

You simply can't force it if the child isn't neurologically ready to connect letters with sounds. It's a huge leap for the brain, and it's a matter of biology.

One of the key predictors of reading readiness is ability to understand rhyming -- it translates into skill in understanding how sounds work within words and can predict success with phonics instruction.

Reading develops when a child is sufficiently exposed to the spoken word to be able to hear separate sounds within words; exposure to singing and poetry are great for developing this sense of discrimination among sounds.

Panzee · 09/10/2010 08:52

I cry when I have to read ORT books too. A tutor at 5? Please no.

mathanxiety · 09/10/2010 09:24

I can't believe you would find anyone but a snake oil salesman willing to look you in the eye and assure you she could help your DD, and take your money for it.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 09/10/2010 09:38

You really don't need to be angry with yourself for what you feel you didn't do last year. Your DD will have gained so much from her relaxed start - not that you'll necessarily be able to quantify those benefits!

It's hard to take a long view when you're in the thick of it with your first child, surrounded by uber-mummies lying boasting about their little darlings' prowess.

Rise above and let them look like the idiots they are, and don't let your daughter go to sleep crying over lack of a skill she'll soon gain in her own time.

I recently came across DS1's reading diary from Y1, and at the start my comments were eg "X refused to read this because he says he can't read,'' but by the end of the year he was whizzing through everything he was given.

He's now 15 and his brother and sister both picked it up in the own different ways.

A tutor would just add to the stress.

bruffin · 09/10/2010 09:58

Stop the flashcards, they don't help with readig and will stress her out even more.DS used to be in tears of sight words, so I stopped doing them.

DS didn't click with reading until he was 7 and passed a lot that were reading fluently in reception.

BudaisintheZONE · 09/10/2010 10:00

jaded please please relax about this. Don't feel "she could be doing so much more". She is doing what she can. No 5 year old should be made to cry at reading.

Please don't put too much pressure on her. She is still only little. It will come.

If she doesn't want to read her ORT book then read it to her. Look at the pictures with her. Ask her to tell you a bit about the pictures. Ask her the characters names. And then put the book away. At this age it is SO much more important to make reading fun.

I used to go in to DS's school and listen to the children reading. At that age they were all so different. Pressurising her won't help and may well put her off.

mrz · 09/10/2010 10:20

I would advice against a tutor for a 5 year old child she doesn't need it. Yes she is behind (IMHO) where I would expect in Y1 but she hasn't had the best start with illness so don't put unnecessary pressure on her.
Help her with phonics, read with her max of 5 or 10 mins a night. Don't make it a battle make it a nice cosy time for the two of you she will catch up I'm sure.

emy72 · 09/10/2010 10:37

I can tell you our experience, it might help you a little.

My DD1 had a really terrible Reception year last year (she is in Y1 now). All this happened: new baby, starting school, then moved house, then changed teacher twice, then moved schools again; she joined her new school that she was on ORT level 2 (april) and I also posted on here and got loads of helpful advice as I was at my wits' end.

The new teacher pulled me in and said that my DD1 was very able and she was going to work with me to push her along, as she felt that her progress wasn't commensurate to her ability. She was going to give her loads of books to take home and loads of praise (in retrospect we think she had a bit of a mental block imo).

We started with the school books and slowly progressed to other books. Very very reluctant to read other books at home but lots of praise and patience. Hard I know.

Anyway, it was a success and worth doing as she is now up to level 5 ORT although tbh she is reading most books we put in front of her now, with confidence and relative fluency. This is a massive leap in just one term and a bit, and a good example of school/home working together.

I would try and have a way forward with the teacher and work with her - if you can't, then lots of praise and you know we did the thing of "let's read a page each", let's read a line each" or a word each. I made it our special time, reading a book every night in bed and it's become a bit of a special time and some nights she begs me to read, even though I could easily give it a miss!!

Then if she got tired I would just read the rest myself.

I think it is essential that the kids don't feel pressurised although I know how it feels as I was panicking a bit when my DD hadn't progressed at all all year.

Good luck

activate · 09/10/2010 10:54

I don't understand how you've gone from a rational mummy to the kind of over-competitive freak who would consider getting a tutor for a 5 year old?

It's like you haven't read anybody else's comments where they say it doesn't matter.

And you've gone from relying on your guts to being horribly high pressured which is in my view a terribly large mistake and will do far more damage to her reading ability than sitting back and letting it flow over you.

activate · 09/10/2010 10:57

Buy red nose readers (can get them from the book people)and tell her she can keep one when she reads it - start with the red ones and make it fun

jaded · 09/10/2010 19:29

I'm really glad I posted on here - your comments have been amazing! Very supportive and very sensible - thank you. I do 15-20 mins with dd a day and that is already giving her a boost. She really enjoys the jooly phonics cd and making up stories and sentences with the words we have learnt.
Mrz- where 'should' my dd be at this stage?
Part of my reaction is that my DD loves books, is very expressive and verbal and I just assumed this meant reading would come easily to her. However she is still very little and I have always been an advocator for a later start. God, I shouldn't forget that! It's awful what all this competition can do to you. Another part of it is that I have had reservations about the school for a while and I wonder if she has oicked up on this. Probably and I am doing my best to conceal it!

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Smithagain · 09/10/2010 20:46

She sounds like my first DD, who was very articulate, loved words, loved books, loved stories. I assumed she'd take to reading really easily, but it took a while. She was on a similar level at this stage in Year 1. Half way through the year, everything fell into place and she stormed ahead. Was one of the best readers by the end of Year 2.

No tutors, no extra work, no flashcards - just patience and lots of enjoying books for their own sake.

telsa · 09/10/2010 21:21

Exactly like my daughter - it could be me writing this. Thanks everyone for advice - and here's hoping it clicks for them both soon!

mathanxiety · 09/10/2010 21:32

My DCs all loved, and actually wore out a tape of Children's Songs from Around the World, a Ladybird tape with alphabet songs, many Sesame Street tapes which I played in the car, as well as many others. They did a lot of singing. Picking up the words accurately was my indicator of who would read early and who would take a bit longer. I recommend aural experiences and lots of exposure to the spoken word.

Sometimes a child who has suffered hearing loss or has an impairment can have problems with phonics -- is it possible that your child's illness could have affected her hearing?

jaded · 09/10/2010 22:20

mathanxiety - that is a really valid point. My daughter suffered from many ear infections last year and it may well have affected her hearing. Also like the ideas about tapes. My daughter loves listening to stories and songs so may invest in some more especially Sesame Street! Telsa - nice to hear from you. Let's keep each other posted and am sure it will all change for them soon.
Smithagain - thank you for sharing that with mme. Such an encouraging experience!

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WhatsWrongWithYou · 09/10/2010 23:49

Didn't realise your DD's health problems were hearing related.

DS1 didn't have many ear infections, but we didn't realise until he was in Reception (aged 4 1/2) that he had glue ear and his hearing was subsequently found to be 20% reduced. This explained why his speech was pretty much incomprehensible, and why i had to shout to get his attention!

His teacher then made sure he sat at the front, and he used to go out to a quieter area for reading, in a group with three or four others, which seemed to help - but the main help I think was just knowing he had this (relatively minor) impairment.

I'd suggest having your DD's hearing tested as this may account for the 'block' you suspect.

mathanxiety · 10/10/2010 07:22

I second WhatsWrong's suggestion. I have a cousin who suffered from unsuspected hearing loss and it really set her back in school and in terms of self esteem. Depending on the degree of loss, a hearing-impaired child may need some special help with reading.

Here's an idea for a pattern book you can either compile yourself or buy online. The books of Eric Carle, while simple, are also very patterned, much along the same lines. Poetry that rhymes and is repetitive, such as the poetry of A.A. Milne is appealing to older beginners, as is something like this, by Jack Prelutsky:

Be Glad Your Nose is on Your Face

Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.

Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you'd be forced to smell your feet.

Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.

Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.

Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place--
be glad your nose is on your face!

jaded · 10/10/2010 17:30

Yes, my DD loves Eric Carle and A.A Milne! And thank you for the poem by Prelutsky - my DD enjoyed that. Will get my daughter's hearing tested as you both suggest. Thank you to everyone who posted on here. I really didn't know what to expect and I have been comforted by your kind words and 'no nonsense' advice. Will post again if I have any other concerns (very likely I'm sure as I am a worry wort when it comes to education!).

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