Don't Think School Teaches DS a Lot

[Ezabelle]

Hello, I'm new to Netmums and hope someone here has some experience or advice about an issue I'm presently going through.

I don't think my child is really learning anything at school. He is five and in reception, he has autism.

I have to give my son daily lessons after school every day as he comes home with a list of questions about things that were obviously mentioned at school but not explained in any detail.

He gives me bits of plain paper that have childish scrawls on them done with chunky yellow crayons, and yet at home he writes neatly with a pen on narrow lined paper!! School know this, I showed them a big stack of paper he'd written neatly on at the end of last term (nursery) and they then asked him to write on lined paper themselves and saw it in person. So it's not like they don't know what he's capable of!

He uses a variety of techniques to produce some really lovely pictures at home. At school he scrawls people without arms and legs in a single coloured crayon.

He's generally happy about school, but he's had a number of accidents recently. Staff also complain that he hits them at times. He has tantrums at home but he does not hit and kick like they say he does at school.

He's got a statement, and the statement was written before we were really sure about how bright he was. A lot of the more amazing intelligence came suddenly out of the last few months, especially during the summer holidays. The autism means he doesn't occupy his time very well, so I tend to arrange activities all the time, even if sometimes that activity is just 'paint a butterfly on the computer and print it out' or 'watch 2 programs on CBeebies'.

Any advice or similar experiences?

Wrong website.

Netmums? Who are they then?

Sorry, but I think you know what I meant anyway.

there is netmums and mumsnet ezabelle got the spellings the other way around...

OK, assuming the OP is serious and this is a cut and paste on both sites to try and get advice.

At this stage in reception the children are only just beginning to get used to school, developing routines etc. It is a big culture shock for many and I would imagine an autistic child definately needs time to get used to the expectations.

In reception the emphasis is on learning through play. Childish scrawls in coloured crayon are fun. He may write neatly but he may not have the correct letter formation. The scholl will be spending this half term assessing the children, starting some phonics work and encouraging their creativity.

Serious handwriting is very boring for a lot of 5 year olds so to cater for the majority of the class they will be approaching this in fun ways, developing pencil control etc.

I certainly think that after a full day at school you should not be subjecting such a young child to "extra lessons".

The tantums at school are entirely normal, it is different and unknown for him which is extra reason why he should not be pushed. He may be refusing to do things for the teachers that he will do for you. Let him get used to the huge change first, there is plenty of time to develop his intelligence later.

its not a cut and paste, her spelling was completely other way around, checked netmums there is nothing.

i agree with defying gravity,

Ace is just getting used to school life, they follow the early years foundation stage, he has only just turnt 4, august baby...

They start to learn phonics (sounds of letter) and its just all playbased... yesterday he got his 1st sticker as he is too chatty and sometimes doesnt listen to his teacher so quite proud of him.... they were also watching an episode of charlie and lola at the end of the day so the last 10 mins ...

Just ought to mention this is Mumsnet not the site you mentioned
I'm a mum to two children with autism and not a teacher so my opinions are based around my experiences.
Reception is play based learning focused rather than formal lessons and so ds might find that quite difficult.
My two required a lot of direction and from how you describe ds at home it sounds like he may do as well. You might need to discuss that with the staff at school.
Dd had a visual timetable to encourage her to experience all the activities on offer because otherwise she perseverate on a particular favourite.
The statement will be or should be addressing all ds's difficulties not just his academic learning. Maybe for now school need to be addressing his behaviour or his self help skills.
Ds started nursery able to do far more of the academics than a child two or three years older than him in that he could tell the time and do times tables and manipulate three figure numbers and read the newspaper. But he had these skills at the cost of some very fundamental basics such as being able to dress himself, use the toilet, take turns, share and talk.
Maybe your ds is similar and whilst school recognise he has some valuable abilities they recognise the gaps and are addressing them.
It's important that you and school have a good relationship and you have good communication in place as that is the key when you have a child with autism.
What contact do you have with his LSA and teacher? Have you had input into his IEPs? Do you think they are appropriate?
It is difficult trusting your child into somebody's care and even moreso when you have children with SEN.Try and make an appointment with his teacher to discuss your concerns would be my advice.

Ace also got scratched up on his face by a girl from his class, during lunchtime play... so the mother and daughter was dealt with...

I haven't posted it on another site.

Why are you being so rude to me?! What on earth did I do? I'm really confused.

My son is coming home asking me endless lists of questions about how gravity works and why they used oil before electricity 'was invented' (discovered) and how many hours it would take to get to Australia etc. I'm not dragging him home and making him sit at a desk, he is bombarding me with questions the second I get him in the car.

He already has pencil control and correct letter formation, like I said, he can write neatly on lined paper. I don't mean his name - I mean he writes short stories and keeps a daily diary (he saw it on TV a while back and wanted his own).

He reads fluently and he can do number patterns, fractions, multiplication etc.

I don't use the term intelligent loosely. School say they don't know what they're supposed to do with him. County say it is school's problem. And me, I'm bringing home a formerly peaceful child who is desperate to learn but not being taught much every day.

He doesn't learn through play because he is autistic. He hardly knows how to play in the conventional sense of the word. He can learn, he can watch, he can discover and he can create - but 'just play' is not something he understands how to do, no matter how hard I try to teach him with board games and playmobil etc.

Yes he has an IEP and a statement too.

They are just not adhered to.

I go down time and again and get told that they fully understand my concerns and will deal with them right away.

Then nothing changes.

Ezabelle - there is a website called netmums its a lovely forum for parents etc.. they thought that you had made a thread here on mumsnet and a thread on netmums so you can get more responses, please dont take it in a bad way and be confused,

in your post you put netmums instead of mumsnet thats why some people are being a bit rude in your eyes.

What advice are you actually seeking? I am sure someone will be happy to help if they understand what it is you are wanting to know.

I can't really help you here but think there may be better sections on here or as defyingravity said perhaps a website for gifted children (well defying didn't but think that's what they meant!).

I know what you mean as not being challenged, my DS is in no way gifted (obviously a wonderful superhero to me but no, hasn't a high IQ at this point!) and he keeps getting books with no words. I aren't saying DS can read lots, but he is starting to get the idea of putting the letter sounds together to create words and by not giving him any to practice he isn't going to learn furher.

x

Was the school named in his statement? He needs to have provision that meets his needs.

No-one is being rude to you. We are attempting to give you advice.

The questions thing is normal for all children. Ds bombards me with all sorts of wierd and wonderful questions.

But school atthis stage should just be getting used to the routine with a little bit of fun based learning alongside, not advanced science.

if the school are not helping your child enough, why don't you change schools or even homeschool him... just a suggestion... he seems quite bright.

What about getting him a junior version of Trivial Pursuit, if it's still available. He'd be learning and playing then.

i agree with the lastpost of defyingravity, they don't do any formal english, maths, science, geogrpahy, history until yr1 yr 2.

But play is a skill that a five year old needs and so the school will help him to learn to play.
He will need to learn how to relate to his peers and school will help him do this too.
It's very hard when you have a child who doesn't really fit in the conventional sense.
With my ds now 15 I indulged all his academic pursuits because he found them easy.
When I had dd I recognised that play and communication were more important so I concentrated on them.
Dd fits in school far more easily and has friends and enjoys her time there. The academics have slipped in easily alongside.
School need to work on the skills ds doesn't have so that's what they should be doing and they should know that.

In Reception there's a big emphasis on children being free to choose which activities they want to do. It's great for many children but can be a problem for some children with autism. One of mine (2 boys with ASD) would just wander around if undirected and the other would become overwhelmed by too much choice and have meltdowns.

It helped when the teacher gave my sons a more limited choice, say one of two or three activities instead of having to choose from six.

Having a quiet corner to retreat to when they started to feel overloaded was also a big help. Over time they learned to recognise when things were getting too much and would just go over to the quiet area to calm themselves down.

At this stage I wouldn't worry too much about the brightness issue. Your ds will probably be busy learning to cope with the new environment, new rules, new social skills etc. I found with my boys that the academic side of things took off once they were more settled and able to cope with everything else.

I suspect people are being rude because you have used terms like "amazing intelligence" and because you think your ds is above what the school are offering

I have a ds with Aspergers who is also gifted in some areas - I have given up worrying about how people will take that, he just is

but what I have come to realise during his 3 years at school is that what he IS learning is to improve his social communication skills, to cooperate with others, to follow instructions, to put his arguments respectfully when he disagrees with adults, to recognise when and where it is appropriate for him to do certain things

he doesn't need to be taught to read or do simple arithmetic, but he does need to be taught a great many other things which the other children are already adept at

I would make an appointment for a proper talk with his teacher and the school SENCO to discuss your concerns and what the school's take is on your son's needs and how best to accommodate him.

You certainly don't have to just shut up and accept that the school knows best - schools and teachers aren't perfect and they do get things wrong sometimes. But also it is worth listening, keeping an open mind and aiming to be supportive of the school and the teachers. They have more experience of dealing with children in a large-group setting than you do. And you are going to be working with them for a loooooong time