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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Sooo....is it normal for them to suddenly have more 'attitude' when they have started school?

17 replies

PussinJimmyChoos · 02/10/2010 21:01

DS (4.5) started reception a few weeks ago.

He's very happy there and always excited to go to school each day, which we are delighted about

However, DH and I have noticed a change in his behaviour at home..he is more belligerent, answers back, is harder to dress (took nearly 30 mins to get him dressed for town this morning) and his temper seems to be more than before - he will really scream and get angry over small things

We were warned that they get more stroppy when they start school, but honestly did not expect it this soon! Thought it would be at the Kevin and Perry acne stage!

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onepieceoflollipop · 02/10/2010 21:05

I think (but I am no expert, only one of mine is at school!) that for some children they get a sense of being more "grown up" when they start school. This can lead to them trying to display how independent/grown up they are, and this can result in angry outbursts, "stroppiness" etc.

My own dd1 was very confident when starting school at 4.8 years.

Like you we were happy that she was excited to go in each day.

I think it is partly tiredness too tbh. my own dd was used to 2 full days at nursery each week, and the rest of the time with me. 9am-3pm (ish) is a long day for 4 year olds unless they are used to it.

onimolap · 02/10/2010 21:23

They grow up enormously in the first term at big school. They go from being your cuddly little toddler into small schoolchildren, and it's a huge shift.

It's normal, and there is nothing you can/should do about it. Apart from start laying down the newly needed family rules about how they need to talk at home (it really helps if children become fluently bilingual between standards to parents and those of the playground).

Smithagain · 02/10/2010 21:41

Definitely normal and I totally agree with onimolap about being clear about "at home" standards as opposed to "playground" standards. And it does settle down ... or maybe you just get used to it .

teacherspet33 · 02/10/2010 22:00

In a word....yes!

mitochondria · 02/10/2010 22:33

What Teacherspet said.

UnquietDad · 02/10/2010 22:37

Oh yes! Just you wait till they get to Y6. DD is 10 and has "attitude" overload at the moment... total teenager in training!

Portofino · 02/10/2010 22:39

I think it is an age thing. They start to get more indepebdant and "realise" for the first time that they have their parents running round after them. They can use this then to their best advantage

Saracen · 02/10/2010 23:47

I am fairly sure it is not an age thing, or not just an age thing. In some way it is related to the school environment. The reason I say this is that "attitude" is almost nonexistent among home educated kids, even teenagers. (They definitely don't always do what you want them to do - especially the teenagers! - but they tend to refuse calmly, LOL.)

I don't know whether that helps to figure out why children behave this way or how to handle it, just thought I would chuck that bit of info in just in case it's a useful clue to anybody!

paisleyleaf · 02/10/2010 23:52

You lose them a little bit when they start school :(

cory · 03/10/2010 13:52

"Apart from start laying down the newly needed family rules about how they need to talk at home (it really helps if children become fluently bilingual between standards to parents and those of the playground)."

Real wisdom here!

It is not that you are losing them: it is that they are on the road to becoming their own people, not little extensions of you. And the first step is trying on other people's ways of being, until they find their own. It is to be celebrated.

cory · 03/10/2010 13:54

Saracen, am not sure about all home-schooled children refusing calmly at this age. You clearly never met me in my young days. Being Swedish I did not go near any educational establishment (or nursery, or playschool) until I was nearly 7 but I had plenty of attitude round about 3 and 4. Answering back calmly was not exactly my way...

tokengirl · 03/10/2010 14:02

yep - totally normal - ds1 went through a stage of (calmly) pushing his luck both at home and school. (went through? - still is...)

They get exposed to a lot of older children, and a lot more attitude, so it seems natural enough - they're growing up and trying to fit into a new world order.

He might also just be tired though.

Saracen · 03/10/2010 21:21

"Saracen, am not sure about all home-schooled children refusing calmly at this age. You clearly never met me in my young days. Being Swedish I did not go near any educational establishment (or nursery, or playschool) until I was nearly 7 but I had plenty of attitude round about 3 and 4. Answering back calmly was not exactly my way..."

LOL, yes, maybe you are right. Some little kids do object to being bossed and don't mind telling you so!

Can you remember it very clearly - what sorts of things used to set you off and whether there was anything that made the situation better? A kid's eye view might help here!

Portofino · 04/10/2010 22:17

Dd has been at "school" full time since she was 2.5. Only in the last year has the answering back thing started. They grow up. School is just one part of the picture.

PumpkinsCantDanceTheTango · 04/10/2010 22:22

Oh yes. The "so???" and "big wow" and "see if I care!" all from school.

TheBolter · 04/10/2010 22:25

Having attitude from dd2 ATM, just started reception. Relief to read this.

Portofino · 04/10/2010 22:45

Nice manners gone out the window... I seem to spend my whole time saying "ahem, what is the magic word" or "no, it's THANK YOU mummy" and "less with the grunting/pointing, please use a proper sentence"

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