August-born struggling in Yr 1

[nellieellie]

My ds is just 5 and teachers are reporting "concerns" in Yr 1. Apparently he is unable to focus on tasks and finish them, tending to drift off. He will not engage with the teachers. He finds writing very difficult and is very behind on this (all last yr he used his left hand and now is using right)although is a "solid average" for reading. Whenever he is asked a question he will cover his face with his hands and has been desribed as an "angry frustrated child" which is nothing like his character at home.
He finds it difficult to mix in the playground and talks about the other children not wanting to play with him. He does have friends and regularly goes to tea or has friends over and mostly plays very well with them. He does love company but I think just finds the group environment hard. There was a little boy who he saw as a "best friend" earlier this term and he was devastated when he went off to play with other children, returning from school and reporting that he wasn't his friend anymore and endlessly asking how he could "get back with him". He was extremely upset and the next day reportedly kicked this child (out of character).
He was bullied last year by a child - that was resolved and we were not aware of any other problems in reception apart from his difficulty joining in with groups in the playground.
I am at my wits end as cannot bear the idea of him being miserable at school. He is normally such a happy sociable child. There are 2 teachers on a job share and they tend to just list his "shortcomings" without offering help. We are determined that he will get help and are seeing the headteacher next week and I am doing stuff at home with him to help concentration, writing etc. I am also taking him to Drs to check hearing and any other probs.
The other local school seem far more geared up to help with this but there is a waiting list for Yr 1.

If anyone has had similar experiences with their child I would love to know how it turned out - or what help was given in the classroom.

Thank you!!

My instinct is that the teachers are not very supportive...who calls a child angry and frustrated and offers no help? Or advice?

His reading is average and many children struggle with writing at this early stage....Im inclined to think he is just taking his time to settle in. His bad experiene with bullying and the loss of his friend may have made him anxious...(face covering sounds like that!)

If I were you I would do as you say and speak to the head....and also enroll your DS in some sort of Martiaal art which is great for confidence...not because it makes them "tough" but because it is so disciplined and positive that kids grow very much through studying it. Also there's not the competition and loudness of soccer etc.

My ow DD is Summer born and she wuld ot speak until year 1! She slunk around in silence! She is in year 6 now and fine.

You're doing the right thing in seeing the Head - talking to the school SENCo would also be a good idea. See what intervention he/she thinks appropriate. Lots of schools have a "playground buddy" scheme - matching a child who hates the playground (and a lot of kids do) to a more confident, assertive type who is instructed to keep close and play with shy child. They're usually very sweet and co-operative about it at that age.

But don't panic - it is never in the school's interests to have a child who is not showing improvement, and that's even more the case now that Ofsted is going to be far more focussed on data (pupil tracking, proof that they've all made the required leaps in attainment) than the previous self-evaluation system. The school have very good reason to get their acts together - they may just need a bit of a kick to get the ball rolling. You're doing everything right.

Thanks Hassled and Anenome. I have tried a martial arts course - twice but he seems to hate it, got upset about going and would not join in. I did not want to push it this time as thought getting enough pressure at school. I'm not sure the school have a SEN co at the moment. The school does not operate a "buddy scheme" - that would have been invaluable in Reception and I know the other local school so have one. To be honest the teachers just seemed to lack any sympathy or interest. When I asked them what help they could give him I was asked "Well, do you have any suggestions?" - hence appt with head.