DD is worried that she can't do the work in Reception

[domesticsluttery]

What can I do to reassure her?

She has been pretending to be ill so that she is either sent home from school or kept at home. I was sure she was pretending, and it all came out last night in a flood of tears that she doesn't want to go to school as the work is too difficult and she gets things wrong. Examples of things that she has got "wrong" include writing the odd letter back to front.

The thing is she isn't actually struggling! She isn't a child genius, but she is fairly average and I'm sure that the "work" in Reception is not too difficult for her. It is all a matter of her confidence.

How can I reassure her? I have explained that nobody can do everything when they arrive in school, otherwise there would be no need for teachers! I suggested that I might speak to her teacher about her worries and she begged me not to, so I haven't (yet).

She is a 4 year old child, and is already convinced that she is stupid. What can I do to make her more confident in her own abilities? DS1 is similar but it didn't start this young, and I was the same when I was in school (I convinced myself that I had failed my GCSEs despite the fact that I got mainly A* and A grades).

I want to nip this in the bud now, but how do I go about it?

She sounds like a little perfectionist bless her, I would defiantly speak to her teacher, don't tell her you are going to or that you have if she is so against you doing so but if the teacher is aware of her worries she can do things in class that will help your dd realise that making a mistake is okay and normal and it does not make some one 'stupid'.
Try doing things at home with her that you know she can do with ease, give her a ton of parise to build up her confidence, let her see you make mistakes and deal with them with out making a fuss of berating yourself. Maybe you could do some writing and 'accidently' make some of the mistakes she is making like turning letters around (there are plenty of children still making that kind of error on Y1 and 2!) then just cross it out/rub it out say never mind, i will try again with a smile on your face and a shrug of the shoulders.
What ever you do though please speak to her teacher, it would be horrible for her to get the impression she is 'stupid' this early in her school career and only by you and the school working together can you prevent this.

You need to get the teacher on board here and make sure they are aware - as the previous poster said, your DD sounds like she's worried she has to be perfect to be right and that making mistakes is "bad" or "stupid". Maybe ask the teacher to give her a sticker or something next time she does some good writing with backwards letters? I know ours gave out stickers all the time so hopefully she has some!

Thank you.

I am going to try to speak to her teacher tomorrow morning, I think you are both right that we need to work together on this.

I have pointed out to her that her brothers (who are 6 and 8) make plenty of mistakes in their writing but it doesn't seem to make any difference.

I have been incredibly laid back with teaching her to read or write etc so she isn't getting any pressure from me, and I don't think that her teacher puts undue pressure on her either (she taught both boys and they didn't mention it). It just seems to be DD being a little perfectionist!

May be also practicing some things (in liaison with teacher) at home to give her that bit of extra confidence?

Hi op

(sorry in haste as little one is calling for tea) but your LO has just started reception and is writing! Incredible! Well done her! My DS is summer born so was only 5 in late August, so has just started YR 1. He started Reception in Jan - I delayed as much as I could. DS had no interest in writing until the summer - he received some lovely lovely birthday presents and really wanted to write his name. His name is 8 letters long so we shortened it to the 3 letter shortname. He painfully wrote his name on each thank you note and now can write a few more letters. DS often says he is stupid and can't do things so we praise and praise. I try to get other members of the family or friends to praise as well (strangely that seems to be more meaningful!) Your DD is doing really really well already. She must be really tired with the new routine, so lots of relaxing time. Big hug!

Thanks.

I spoke to her teacher last night and it turns out that the entire problem boils down to teh one time last week that she wrote the number 3 back to front and the teacher helped her to write it the right way round. That is literally all it was. Obviously her pride was so dented by having to ask for help that it led to her getting really upset!

At least now her teacher will realise what a silly billy little perfectionist she is.