should i speak to teacher about this?

[booyhoo]

ds is 5, started school this year. he stayed with my mum recently and she told me yesterday that when he was muttering to himself (having an argument with himself) she heard him say, "well, you're ginger".

i have spoken to him, he doesn't even know what it means, he just knows it is said when children are being mean. i want to speak to the teacher so she knows it is being said and so that she can speak to all the children. i dread to think of a child being picked on.

Talk to the teacher. Imo bullying is only so rife in British schools because this sort of low-level teasing is seen as normal and part of growing up. Low-level teasing always escalates into worse unless it is stopped. There would be uproar if a child was being teased for having different coloured skin. I find it quite extraordinary that people with red hair are regarded as fair game.

DD was being picked on by a brat in reception last year. When she told me about it, I thought it was low level stuff (brat was telling DD she was 4 when she was in fact 5, brat had even come to DD's 5th birthday party) but constant and upsetting and DD didn't know how to handle it. DD and I spoke to the reception teacher as soon as she told me and it was taken seriously and dealt with. Brat is still fairly mean but is monitored closely now so any incidents are dealt with as they happen.

Do see your son's teacher and speak to her. I also hate the thought of children having to put up with shit like this because it is deemed part of growing up.

Also want to add, that DD now trusts me to stick up for her so will tell me if something is bothering her. She also trusts her own judgement more when someone is being mean and feels able to ask the teachers/assistents for help. I think this trust issue is really important - if children feel they are on their own they will put up with all sorts of nastyness without telling anyone.

i spoke to her, glad i did. i was so annoyed when i heard that ds had said it, although i know children hear things and dont really know what they mean but the thought of him or another child saying that to someone is awful. she couldn't understand where he had heard it although he said an older boy said it to another boy in school. so i told ehrhis and she thanked me. i hope she speaks to the class about it, although she didn't say what she was going to do.

i agree stuff can appear very low level but to the child that is being picked on it takes over their entire life. i was bullied at primary school and i dreaded every single day. every though was about what would be said nexy or how lonely i felt.

Glad you've had a good result - also tells the teacher that you are on the ball so she is more likely to keep on top of things like this.

'DD was being picked on by a brat in reception last year. When she told me about it, I thought it was low level stuff (brat was telling DD she was 4 when she was in fact 5, brat had even come to DD's 5th birthday party) but constant and upsetting and DD didn't know how to handle it. DD and I spoke to the reception teacher as soon as she told me and it was taken seriously and dealt with. Brat is still fairly mean but is monitored closely now so any incidents are dealt with as they happen.'

Because of course calling someone Brat isn't bullying or offensive at all.

Teacher - you think I am a bully and offensive because I called a girl who was being vile to my daughter a brat on a completely anonymous forum?

The girl continues to be vile to my daughter and anyone else who won't do what she wants. IMO she is a brat.

I has an issue with you calling her brat when you are stating how she was bullying your dd and mention name calling etc. Obviously doesn't mean what your daughter is going through is acceptable, but practice what you preach. In that 4 yr olds opinion your daughter is a whatever, so why is it ok for you to make comments about her but not for her to say anything about your dd?

teacher i think there is a difference between thinking a child is a brat and saying so on an anonymous forum, and calling the child that to her face. callisto, (i hope) hasn't let her DD or this little girl know what she thinks of her.

Thanks Booyhoo - that's exactly my point.