DS in Reception - Birthday soon - what to do?

[mamatilly]

DS will be five in afew weeks, I was thinking to invite whole of class (20 children) as he hasnt had much chance to get to know everyone yet and thought it would help his confidence/being included to other parties etc.

He has told me that he hates everyone in class except one girl, and only wants her to come to his party!!! He is quite confident but doesnt hang out with the al[ha male boys atall, and is quite unfriendly to everyone whenever we see classmates around the school.

Help! Shall I just invite the class anyway aand hope that it does some good? Might it help him to become more friendly with eeverybody?

I wouldn't do a big party with lots of children if he doesn't know them, and says he doesn't like them.

GIve him the party he's asked for, and if you want to, invite extended family or other non-school friends.

And then, if you can, start hosting playdates with various children from school so your ds can get to know some of them in a relaxed way.

Do you know any of the parents of the other children? Could you ask the teachers who ds spends his time with and/or who has similar interests and/or a similar personality? That might give you a starting point.

My DS ( 7 next month ) used to hate big groups, big parties, so we never did them.

I understand your desire to help him along socially but not sure his birthday party should be included in these plans. If it were me, I think I'd give him the birthday he wants - celebrate it at home/do an acivity he likes/maybe ask the girl he likes and her parents too/just relatives.

In DS's year, they all do parties differently. Some do whole class, some never have them, some have 2 children, some around 10.

I personally think it should be about what your DS wants, within reason!, so listen to him.

In terms of social engineering, find other opportunities to meet up at the park/wherever with one or two parents with children in his class.

My Ds is also going to be 5 soon. I think we will ask the teacher whether we could bring a cake for the kids or anything else. Our house is tiny and 30 kids plus parents are just too much for us. And the kids will not have fun. Small living room, small garden.

Could you do him something small scale now and tell him that he can have another party later on when he's made a few more friends.

Chances are he'll get invited to quite a few all class parties so its worth encouraging him to go to these.

Talk to his teacher too. They may be able to put your mind at rest that he has more friends than he says

If he doesn't want a big party, he doesn't want it. I suggest you do a special treat or outing with the friend he does want, leaving the door open for another celebration when he is interested.

If he doesn't want a big party, he doesn't want it. I suggest you do a special treat or outing with the friend he does want, leaving the door open for another celebration when he is interested.

It's his birthday and he should enjoy it! Do something fun with him and his friend.