Year 3 homework - how much do you help or correct your child?

[melpomene]

My dd has just started year 3. She gets a spelling list for homework and has to write a sentence using each word. I tend to talk her through it, eg if she has to write a sentence using the word "monster" then the conversation will go something like this:

Me: OK dd, what sentence could you write about a monster?
DD: I saw a monster.
Me: Can you make it more exciting?
DD: I don't know.
Me: You could use some describing words
DD: I saw a big monster.
Me: What was the monster doing? What do monsters do?
(continue in this vein for several minutes)
Eventually, DD writes: "I saw a big monster roaring in it's cave."
Me: You don't have an apostrophe in "its" when it means it belongs to something, only when it's short for "it is". (DD corrects her work.)
Me: OK, next sentence. The word is giraffe. Tell me a sentence about a giraffe.
DD: I saw a giraffe.
Me: You can't start with "I saw" again. Can you think of another way of starting this sentence?

and so on, and so on.

In other words, I'm having a lot of input into her homework though I do try to draw ideas out of her rather than imposing my own ideas. I'm wondering if other parents have this much input at this level, or do you just leave your child to get on with the homework by themselves? Or somewhere in between?

DD had that homework in yr3, like trying to get blood out of a stone.... You have my deepest sympathy. As for input, I would say what you are currently doing is pitched about right, ie encouraging her to make her work more interesting but not doing it for her. Would the school accept putting a couple of the spelling words in one sentence, thus reducing the number to 5 sentences to write? This worked well for us. Have fun.

If I was giving this much help to my DC I would put a note at the bottom of the page saying that I had had to help her.

TBH the teacher wants to know what they can do so I just let DD get on with it. Then it is up to the teacher to tell her whether it is up to an acceptable standard! or not...

DD1 is in Year 4 now, but I'm doing my best to think back a year.

For routine homework like that, I would generally leave her to it unless she was really floundering. I might remind her that she should be trying to make the sentences interesting, but not be constantly bouncing ideas around with her. And I wouldn't correct her spelling - or at least not in a way that the teacher couldn't detect - because the teacher needs to know how well she can spell, not how well I can!

For more extended, project-based homework, we were positively encouraged to get involved, though. I rather enjoyed building a Victorian kitchen with her, but I am a bit like that .

Personally I don't think it's the best idea to give this level of support. I really encourage my kids to do their homework independently - which in the long run (well secondary school) is the skill I'm most interested in them developing.

So I might tell them (once) to try and make the sentences interesting (or whatever) but then let them get on with it.

And I don't correct or mark their homework. I'm quite happy for them to hand in homework with (lots of) mistakes in it.

I think it's very important for them to do their homework is independently as possible in the juniors.

getting ds2 to do his homework in y3 was like pulling teeth - agonisingly awful for both him and me ...

I gave him very similar levels of support at that age, simply because otherwise it wouldn't have been done and he wasn't mature enough at the time to deal with the consequences. One thing which helped was he decided to see how many of his words he could get into one sentence, which had to make sense! He looked on this as a challenge and quite relished thinking up some highly entertaining sentences - luckily all his teachers had a sense of humour ...

Now he's in y6 and I have to encourage him to sit down and get started, but otherwise leave him to it.

That sounds like too much help. Not that it's a bad idea in itself, but it'll probably make her lazy about doing things independently if she is being spoon-fed like that. DD is in Year 4 now but since Year 3 (when regular homework started) she just sits at the table by herself and does her homework without me hovering around. If she doesn't know a word or can't think of a sentence she'll ask me and I'll help her. The spelling sentences homework always says at the top to use adjectives so I don't remind her. I do go through her homework at the end though, and she will rewrite parts if necessary (I know that bit is the teacher's job but I like doing it ). It works for us because I don't want to have children who only work if I'm sitting next to them breathing down their necks.

Agree that it was still like drawing teeth at this age. By Yr 4 I could leave ds to get on with it, but that was partly because he had grown up a lot, partly because the school had started to dole out lunchtime detentions for not doing homework. If you have a child who refuses to get on with it, what do you do if there are no sanctions for not doing it and you are not supposed to get involved?

Fwiw a little breathing down the neck in the early years has made no difference to my children's ability to work independently later on: after all, we are constantly changing our approach to their independence as they grow older, so why not in this area?

Though I would not be making as many suggestions for improvement as the OP, but make sure the teacher got an idea of what the child's initial unaided level was.

agree with cory - at 7/8 my boys simply weren't ready to sit down and do homework completely unaided. However, now they're 13 and 10 they're fine to get on with it (with a bit of prompting to actually get their books out and get started!), so help at y3 does not nec mean they'll always need the same amount of adult input

I suppose it depends on the indvidual child, like most things. There is a time window for the breathing down the necks to cease, or you'll find it very difficult to stop the continuous supervision, but we all know best when that is :). I suspect DD2 will take longer than DD1 to start working independently, though I'm hoping she'll surprise me.

Having this a bit, though we're Year 2. Have you tried asking her if her teacher will think 'I saw a x.' is the best she can do? Works every time with DS, as he knows what's wanted really.

We were told to discuss the english/literacy homework with Ds1 and then let him get on with it, and he does maths and science on his own with enthusiasm.

He's supposed to have half an hour of homework when it is set, and the teacher said just to get him to do it for half an hour, rather than slog on till it was complete. We need to really enforce the doing it for half an hour with the literacy work, and chivvy him along. If he asks how something is spelt we will tell him but otherwise we leave his errors for the teacher to point out.

DS1 has just gone into Year 3 and I wouldn't help him anywhere near that much with his homework. In fact I don't help DS2 who is in Year 2 that much.

I just tend to leave them get on with it and then have a quick read through when they've finished

I have mixed feelings about homework in year 3, precisely because I'm not sure what weight it is given by the teacher.

My DS will not allow me to help him whatever. The very few times I gave him a strong hint , before I'd properly recognised his determination, he ignored my input and completed the work as he had intended anyway.

I do feel like writing 'unsupported', because I think he is one of few that takes this extreme line, but hey, it's not that important. I guess the teacher can work out whether work is in line with what s/he sees on a day to day basis.

DD is year 3 - I ask her to read out the task then explain to me what she thinks she has to do. We might both do the first one together or she'll show me before she continues incase she didn't understand properly but then she gets on with it.

I figured the teachers can tell if you've heavily inputted as they see the day to day work and know how they have performed with similar tasks in the classroom.

Having said that, if she's struggling to understand what it is she has to do, i'll try to help her understand - tantrum aversion is still key priority!

Thanks, some good suggestions there. I think I have been going a little too far with supporting her (That's why I posted the OP), but on the other hand I want to encourage her to do her best. It's a fine line to tread.

Maybe the way to go is to start helping and supporting just with the first couple of sentences and then leaving her to it?

IMO this issue is less simple than it appears.

at face value, I would help that way for the first sentence, then hopefully leave them to do the rest by themselves. I wouldn't correct spelling if they didn't ask, I'd hope that the teacher would correct it at that age.

my parents brought me up to always try my best and not just do the minimum 'I saw a monster' type thing. this wasn't in a pushy, breathing-down-my-neck way, it was just more of an attitude that I picked up on. this is what DH and I want for our kids - to take pride in their work and doing their best.

it is also what we want for his older kids, but we have had problems with this (mostly due to their mum, whom they live with, but that's a separate thread...) and their schools (primary and secondary) haven't helped. quite the opposite in fact.

basically one of my DSDs makes no effort, rushes through all work at home and school and would, even age 12, do something like 'I saw a monster'. but the work still gets a tick. spelling isn't corrected either. she's never been told she could do better or try harder, even though she obviously could.

of course the other side of this is that if they make more effort (as her twin sister does), it still doesn't get recognised and just gets a tick! :(

sorry for the rant - it's just really frustrating, of course as parents we want our children to try their best but it's hard when the teachers don't seem to be bothered

Have you talked to the teachers about that Algebra? I'd be ranting too. Not sure if it helps to compare or winds you up further, but DS's teacher always gives far more feedback than a tick. There's always a sentence of praise, but if he knows work's been dashed off, there will definitely be a gently goading sentence suggesting more is expected next time.

Repeat after me "It's your homework not mine"

(But yes, after that, ask whether Mrs X will think they have done their best work). But meanwhile, make a cup of tea or something.

smee, that's what we'd expect/hope for! and yes, we've tried talking to the teachers but it's a lost cause. it's a rubbish school anyway. can't help feeling it wouldn't be so bad if they'd lived with us :(

anyway I'll shut up now, don't want to hijack!

Sounds woeful, Algebra.

That sounds awful, Algebra: at 12, their homework should be marked with and they should have an idea of the levels expected/how shoddy work will affect their future. These are children who will shortly be starting GCSE modules. Totally different from teaching 8yos.

yep :( one of the many reasons we wish they weren't at that school.

Melpomene sounds like you were doing homework with my daughter except that mine would preface each sentence with 'I like..'

The weight of yr 3 has become very apparent from early on and I am just letting her get on with things. If she's wilfully not putting in much effort I tell her that her teacher will see that in her work. Much better than banging my head against the wall.