Would it be really bad to change DC's school again?

[chicaguapa]

We moved down to Chandler's Ford from Manchester in April this year, so have been here almost 6 months. We really like it here and DC have finally settled in their new school. But now we are in an unexpected financial position where we can afford to move to Winchester, which is where we would liked to have moved to initially, but couldn't afford to.

But we both feel really bad about changing DC's school again. It wouldn't be until next year so at that point they'll have been at the school for a year. We could potentially keep them at the school and just drive them in every morning, which we have discussed at length, though it would be hard logistically as my work is in the opposite direction.

What do you think? Is it selfish to even consider doing this, just so we can live in Winchester?

How old are the children? while children are at primary they seem to soon make friends and settle quickly and I wouldn't worry about moving. Bit different when they are at high school as they may not want to change schools.

Hi. They are 5 & 8. DD still wants to go home (as she calls it) but has made friends. DS took a bit longer, but since he started back this year, he's been a lot happier.

I think the key point is in your own words "We really like it here"...so use the moneyfr somemthing else! You like it, they like it...stay put!

Well, if you really like it where you are, why move? Is there some massive advantage to living in Winchester?

If you do want to move, could you move the kids now and commute home instead, iyswim? Especially as it seems that Winchester schools would be on your way to work.

Ime, kids move much more easily at primary school than at secondary.

I don't think you're being selfish, especially if this is your final move before the kids leave home as it were.

As long as you don't move again I can't see a problem. Our DD has moved countries four times and has attended three different schools. We are moving back to the UK next year and it will be in preperation for her final year at juniors ready for long term seniors.
She seems a well adjusted 9 year old. At the moment.

We also think that living in Winchester would be nice as a family. There are loads of restaurants and probably places for DC to go out when they are older. Tbh we haven't looked into it in depth so it might turn out to be a terrible place to grow up, in which case we'd stay put. And need to actually look into local schools too. We can't move yet as we're renting and our lease runs out in April.

Can I make a suggestion that you look at the secondary schools in Winchester and compare those with the ones close to Chandlers Ford... I have a feeling that might be the decider for if you move.

My main concern would the 8 year old. I moved schools 4 times between 7 and 9 and it is very much an age when children are already in fixed friendship groups which are hard to break into. The 8 year old may well feel (I did) that they've "just" got themselves settled and it's been really hard work and they have to move again. If you do decide to move I would say move sooner rather than later.

If it is really where you want to be go for it! It's probably a good idea to check the schools too.

As the mother of children who's father is in the forces, I can safely say that two moves won't really harm them. They are so little, they'll quickly make new friends. If they have made really good friends where you are now, you can always get their emails/addresses and keep in contact.
Children are far more adaptable than we think and there's much research which shows how children of forces families, are far more socailly adaptable than non-forces children so go for it!

Hi, thanks for your replies. Lattelady, I guess you're talking about comparing Thornden with Kings? I would be happy to give the former up for the latter, and Kings is a more viable option for us as we're not in Thornden catchment.

luciemule, I grew up with a dad in the RAF so know what it's like to move around too. I don't remember it being traumatic, in fact I used to look forward to new schools, new houses etc. It's probably why I am the way I am now. Good to know that I'm more socially adaptable! Though it's hard to say that it might have just suited my personality. My bro & sis have never moved anywhere and they had the same upbringing.

Tbh I figured that such a short distance move (it's only 20 minutes away) would mean that DC can keep their friends more easily, than the ones they made in Manchester. So wouldn't be such a hard wrench for them. They just wouldn't see them every day.

I think it'll come down to primary schools in Winchester though as I don't think I could face the stress of finding DC places in the same school and one that I like. So it's tempting just to stay put for now, get DD into Kings and when both DC are there, we can move to Winchester.

Couple of points, mainly regarding Thornden versus Kings!

Of course, as far as I know you may have visited both schools 20 times and interviewed 40 parents/DCs at both in which case you will have formed your own opinions!

BUT if you haven't: I think if you had a choice between these two, you need to look carefully at what suits your DCs.

Kings, to me, being ex-grammar school myself, felt just like a grammar. Very strict uniform, very rules based, highly structured (they have something like 12 bands per year in each relevant subject!) and -this is hearsay from 'insider DCs- there IS a cultural divide between the 'posh Winchester' DCs and the Stanmore council estate DCs. DCs come from miles around, some 'fleeing' the less desirable comps (I assume you're Toynbee catchment?).

Thornden is very middle class. It has a very strict catchment and 6 primaries serve it. The uniform is strict but very casual. They only stream in a couple of subjects, and, again in my opinion, the school feels very 'comprehensive'.

In terms of academic results, they are quite similar though Thornden seems to pip Kings but perhasp not by a decisive margin. What Thornden do do is get the boys through.

I looked very carefully at both but chose Thornden because I feel it serves all its DCs better. DS1 is clever and would be top or next set wherever he went. DS2 is a 'C' grader. He'd be very aware and discouraged of his middling to below middling position if he were in Group 8 or 9 of 12 whereas, with practically no setting, he'd be happier bimbling along!

Of course, the other issue is I suspect you'd have a lot of trouble getting all your DCs into the same over-subscribed primary in Winchester, a point I'm sure you already know! We had to split schools for luckily only half a term when we moved into this area for the same reason.

Hope that helps and wish you all the best.

If you want to move do it now before they are much older.

Thanks ampere. I'll have a closer look nearer the time as I haven't been to Kings at all anyway. I agree it's important to find a school to suit all DC. DD is loving the setted groups at Knightwood and is motivated by not being in the top one in all subjects. Her favourite thing at school is tests! DS is too young still for me to know whether he would find that motivating or discouraging as I don't think they put them into clear groups in y1. Hopefully by the time we have to decide for DD (she's just gone into y4), we'll have a better idea of what would suit DS.