problems with a child in DS's reception class - what do i do next?

[vnmum]

DS started reception this year and this is his third week in school. The first week went without a hitch. From the second week DS has either come home with bruises, scratches or saying that his lunch has been thrown on the floor or he has been ragged around by another child. It is the same child that he says is doing everything.

When the first incident happened it was the other child throwing DS's sandwich on the floor so DS couldn't eat all his lunch. I told DS not to sit next to the other boy at lunch then the next day he said the other boy followed him and through some other lunch items on the floor. By chance that night we had a meet the teacher evening so i mentioned to his teacher what was happening and they said they were addressing it.

Anyway, yesterday this child pushed DS over, today DS had scratches on his face and said this same child had pushed him over again. DS also said he had told a teacher what had happened and that the teacher hadn't done anything. I spoke to DS's reception teacher after school today and she said they were aware of problems and that the other boys mum was being spoken to tonight.

Now i know boys can play rough and things can get out of hand but DS is also a timid character and i have seen him being pushed around by so called friends at soft play areas and not standing up for himself. We were also told by his nursery teacher that because of his personality he could be a potential target for bullies when he is at school.

So really i would like ideas of where i go from here if the behaviour from this other boy continues. DH wants to teach DS how to punch so he can hit back but I think that will then get DS into trouble for hitting even if he felt pushed to it.

Obviously i am only hearing DS's side of things and don't want to be all PFB about it but i also don't want him being potentially bullied.

Thanks

GLad he had a better day. Its so stressful sending them off and then worrying how they are getting on.

My daughter has been in reception for 10 weeks now and is still crying and clinging to me in the mornings. It is actually getting worse. She just says she is scared of school but still wants to go in as she likes the learning. I have discovered it is lunchtime that scares her and she has had some negative experiences of boys grabbing her.
I have spoken to her teacher but nothing is being put in place to help us. I am having real doubts about the school as I was shouted at by the school secretary for using the wrong door and it was seriously over the top shouting! Also in the mornings, as we are allowed into the classroom I have noticed that the teaching assistant is often on the computer, when I would have thought she needs to be supervising the kids. The reception class is crazy in the mornings, running about, etc.
This is my third child, so quite experienced but have never had this clingy thing.
School I prefer has now got a place, so wanting to move her but she is really stressed about it. Am now wondering whether it is just her and if I should just home school till she is 7.
Any tips?

Personally I'd find the scared of school thing a red flag along with the other issues a red flag and I'd move her to the other school.

The words ‘scares’ and ‘grabbing’ concern me. Your daughter is very new to school, and these things should not be happening. The teacher probably doesn’t see these issues as they are happening at lunchtime, but the teacher needs to ensure that the lunchtime supervisors are aware of this and are stopping these things from happening. Has your daughter named the boys? I would talk to the teacher again, and follow it up with an email that summarises the situation in as much detail as possible.

I don’t think you should be worried that your daughter is too sensitive for school and that homeschooling is necessarily the answer. Children need to know how to deal with other children, and your daughter (who is very young) needs the school to help her with this.

I wouldn’t rush to move her, but if you get an unsatisfactory response the next time you speak to her teacher (which you should follow up with an email to the school, copying relevant people), you could consider it at that point.

When my DD was in Reception, another child in the class was being very ‘controlling’ of my DD and my DD took to rushing her lunch, or delaying her lunch and creeping everywhere to avoid this girl, and got distressed about it. A meeting with the teacher and the situation quickly improved.

Good luck. No child should be scared at school.

Honestly just move her. You have a space at your preferred school. It's a chance at a fresh start for your DD. You are not sure about the current school environment (doesn't sound great to me either). She hasn't been in the current place long enough to have made major friendships. Just stop overthinking and move before the situation turns into a major drama.

Thank you everybody for your advice - really helpful.
Have taken this to the Headteacher who is really good. Turns out my daughter has had some incidents with boys which have made her scared. They are assuring me they will address it and she came out today full of beans, even though her teacher was quite strange with me this morning - I expect I have 'nightmare mother' stamped on my forehead now!
Looked into going to preferred school but having spoken to a friend from her nursery who is there, it doesn't sound much better and the head is not very nice..so stuck between a rock, etc.
Think we are going to ride it out till end of term so she can enjoy the Christmas stuff going on and then review again in January if things don't improve.
One big reason I have hesitated moving her is that she has got such a great group of girlfriends in her class already and I think that is unusual to form friendships so early on, remembering my older girls found it much more difficult to form friendships in reception.
Hey ho, wait and see and thanks again.