Too much homework or about right? (warning, long!)

[Lovecat]

DD is in Y1. It's a private school, which was not my ideal, but it ticked all the other boxes (walkable, Catholic, pre/afterschool care, small classes, no SATS) so I swallowed my misgivings and went for it.

It's a really nice school, Nursery and Reception were lovely, but are they expecting too much from a 5 yr old (6 in February)?

Last week she had homework on Tuesday-Friday, which was a worksheet for Tues-Thurs (maths and english) and two sheets for the weekend, also ten spellings to learn (tested on Monday) and two books to read. This apparently is normal for the school.

The worksheets themselves are not particularly hard, but it's more the way that DD is feeling over them.

She is getting v. stressy, frustrated and upset over having to sit down and do the work - she's getting herself into a state over it and even simple things that she's done a million times (eg she had to draw between 5 and 10 people that she knows, write their names and count how many arms, eyes, legs etc in total they had - I suggested she start with 'mummy' and 'daddy' - she makes cards for us all the time with our names on them so I thought that one was an easy start - and she screamed and screamed that she didn't know how to write the words).

It's making our evenings utterly miserable and I don't know what to do about it - how to dispel the bogeyman that the homework seems to have become (not through our doing, I don't think, she was like it from the first sign of the worksheet), how to get her to relax and enjoy it (it's mainly drawing and colouring with a bit of letter and number work) and just to 'have a go' without it having to be perfect (which I suspect is what's behind her freezing in the face of it)
and lastly, how the hell do you get a child who can't read to learn spellings? How do you make it interesting (or do you just have to keep repeating things to them til you're both insensate with boredom?!)?

Although she loves being read to, she HATES the school reading books (have to say I'm not a fan of Floppy and co myself) and again refuses point-blank to even look at them.

There is a parents meeting tomorrow with the teacher to talk through what they'll be doing this year, I don't know whether I should say anything about the amount of homework or not. At her age (admittedly some 40 years ago) I wasn't having to do half of this and I don't want to turn her off school at this early stage.

Poor DD is so miserable :(, does anyone have any advice/experience to pass on?

DD is at fairly academic 3-18 private school in year 2. In year 1 we had 10 spellings per week, a reading book each night and one piece of written work related to the guided reading that we could take all week to do.
We have a very varied reading scheme Biff and Chip was used once and clearly wasn't turning DD on so they don't use regular ORT with her.
Personally I would organise a private meeting with the teacher to discuss your concerns. I did this in both reception and year 1 and it really helped. I am considering it now in year 2 as I am concerned about what I should be doing with the reading.

If it is a problem, then raise it with the teacher. Spellings and reading would be the norm in almost every school whether state of private. The number and difficulty of the worksheets varies. Ds1 had to learn his times tables in Year 1 which I personally thought was barking, but other parents seem to indicate how far ahead their child was.

Just be aware: the school can never win on this. Some parents just don't believe in homework, others are passionate about it. There will be a mixture of each in every class. The best you can hope for is that the teacher takes the sensible view that you the parent are the best guide as to what your dd can handle.

My DD is in year 2..she is the youngest and it's also private and very academic.

We get a LOT f homework and have since reception..it has been and still is hard...I have to get very creative to get her to do it happily.

If my DD has to write words she des not find easy then I write them first and let her copy....Im not going to make her struggle all evening..I kow other parents do it too...the spellings...you have to keep reciting them...so you say..."Dark...D A R K" then have her repeat it...I do it in a funny voice and with a dance...(it hlps both of us!) Then you get her to copy them down from a sheet of paper...am interested to know if your DDs teachers have eprssed any concern over her not reading yet....I know it is normal at her age but also know how pushy private schools are with it!

Mmm ... my dd is in a state school, she is 4.5 and has to read a book herself for about 10 min (ORT), then I read a story and we practise key words. So far she thinks that it is a lot of fun and it only takes about 15-20 minutes a day.

I think that it is quite good to get a homework routine going but also agree that it is important not to put kids off. So are there any ways in which you can make it more fun? Also, would it help to do it at a different time, e.g. first a snack then homework together or after dinner? Would a reward chart help?

I would definitely discuss with her teacher, she might have some suggestions how to deal with it. Good luck.

my DD is in yr 1, state school and i'm overwhelmed with the homework. this week, project work - she has to complete a booklet on when she was a baby. write a diary for the class mascot, comprehension task for reading book, reading book - biff etc plus free reading book,ten spelling words for Friday and prepare something for show and tell on Friday, - no toys.

We just do a bit each night, but tbh i am stressed with how much we have to cram in each night as well as spend time as a family.

I am agog, literally agog at how much homework some of your poor kids have. My face is actually like this as I type. Poor, poor kids.

DD is in Year 1 (6 in Jan) and has one maths worksheet (never takes more than 5 mins to do) and a book to bring home - once a week. I read her the book and she draws a picture of the cover, writes the title and colours in a smiley or sad face to say if she likes it. In total it's maybe 15-20 minutes of work once a week. She also has to bring in an object every other week to go with whatever theme they are studying.

I simply wouldn't be prepared to do homework every night I'm afraid. No way. They are babies still and they need time to just play - and time with their mummies/daddies/siblings!!

Thanks all - so it seems to be the norm?

Anemone, thanks so much for the tips, I'm getting a bit desperate - on the one hand they said all the way through reception that she was 'on the verge' of reading and it would be 'any day now', so far as I can see she hasn't progressed at all - this DOES NOT worry me one bit, I know damn well that all kids learn at their own pace, but on the other, they seem to think that I'm worried about it (or should be!) and keep telling me I "Must" read with her - I do! I do, honest! But when your child is tired, frustrated, angry and so utterly resistant to anything that smacks of 'work', quite frankly I do tend to think "stuff this" and make our family time in the evenings a bit more pleasant!

And then I have her best friend's mum moaning that they don't get enough homework at her school - I agree that teachers can't win.

Hmm... MrsGravy, the more I experience the modern school system the more I want to gather DD up, run away and homeschool - only I obviously can't teach her or else she'd be much less frustrated/unhappy, yes? no?

I give up... :(

But thanks for the sounding board and the advice - it's all very much appreciated.

State school here: iirc, the norm was one maths sheet, one spelling sheet and books taken home at a normal rate of 3 a week- but having said that, I frequently diluted the reading homework by keeping books for longer (so only one as week, if that, actually got read) and writing in the reading diary that "dc was too tired to read tonight", "dc found this maths homework too difficult".

Mine didn't learn to read until end of Yr1/Yr 2, but then took off quickly.

Yes, there is too much pressure on children- but you can do a lot to negotiate it by staying calm and unflustered and not feeling pressured to pressurise them yourself.

State school. Norm is 10 spellings a week and reading every night (or as frequently as you want).

The school also sends home a list of "ideas" to support your child's learning at home. Some children come back with reams written in their books, others do nothing at all. DS reacts like your DC to any mention of homework so with him we tend to do things that support the learning but don't necessarily produce anything written in his book (e.g. this half term they have to produce a fact file on their favourite dinosaur - we have looked at lots of books and websites and found out some things and talked about them, but not written any down).

Lovecat - that sounds like quite a normal amount of homework for a private school.

Your DD just needs help settling down and getting through it. DS1 had no trouble but DS2 always struglged in exactly the same way as you describe. Just needed a routine, a quiet place to work, no excuses and support in getting organised.

You should definitley talk to the teacher. Maybe then together you can figure out why she is so stressed.

I suspect it is because she is very competitive and does not want to get it wrong or be compared to other children?

Lovecat - I would suggest that it's school making her frustrated and unhappy not you.

I have to be honest, I think worksheets are crap. They are boring and unimaginative and unless you have the kind of child that likes to sit down and do them they must be a complete nightmare.

I love the idea of homeschooling too but wouldn't have enough faith in my teaching abilities to do it - plus, I am actually happy with DD's school so far. What I DO do though is look at some homeschooling blogs to find some ideas of how to teach what the school is teaching in a more fun way. So last year they gave us boring old flashcards to teach them the alphabet. I looked at some blogs online and got the idea to play stuff like letter bingo which was much more fun and effective. We have high frequency words this year so I'm going to be looking at how to teach her them in a way that she'll enjoy because I KNOW she'll get bored quickly if I just sit down with them on a sheet and try and drum them into her.

Could you do that kind of thing with her and ditch the worksheets? School will soon see that she's learning in her own way without them.

My son is Y1, just turned 6, at a private school

We are currently on a reading book a night and from this week, we will have one Maths exercise to do (three days to do it) and ten spellings each week (to be tested one week later.

Think that is it, and I am fairly comfortable with that. I think my son should be able to manage, but I will be keeping a close eye of course. They earn house points at our school for doing their spellings etc well, and DS is quite competitive so loves the fact that if he gets them right he may get a point. That does seem to give him the incentive he needs to do the "homework".

They deliberately left it two weeks of term to introduce the maths and spellings.

He seems to be less tired this week though, so fingers crossed he should be able to cope with the other stuff they are introducing. But you are right to keep a very close eye and definitely discuss with teacher in private if it is too much. They are only 5/6!!! Too much pressure now is not a good thing.

Far too much homework - my dd is a year older and just want to play when she gets home.

She has infinite capacity for play and I believe that homework would limit her development. (Plus, interfere with family life). However, since it's a private school and you are paying, can't you set the agenda a bit more? E.g. say 'no homework'.

Hmm - my DS is in an independent school and only now, in Year 3, has he started having homework every night. In Year 1 homework was no more than reading and spellings, in Year 2 they moved onto English and Maths once a week as well as reading and spellings, and now they have a short homework each evening Mon to Thurs.

So it seems I am going against the grain here and saying that it does seem quite a lot for Yr 1. And it's a shame - DS even at 7 is finding the homework quite burdensome (easy to do but he doesn't want to do it after a long school day!) so I do feel for your DD who is still so little

My DS in Yr2 State. He gets 10 spellings a week, reading books when he needs them (so in theory we could have one a day), maths sheet at the weekend which takes about 20 mins.

I am quite happy with this. We do reading in the morning and spellings in the evening, yes he does protest but it only takes 10 mins at the beginning and end of each day.
x

DC1 has just started at an independent school in Primary 2, he was in a state school for Primary 1. One of the things I discussed at length with the school before moving him was the amount of homework. I really didn't want him being overwhelmed with homework at such a young age. Both schools have exactly the same amount of homeowrk, in primary 2 this takes 10 minutes at most per night. A reading book each night, and a simple maths sheet once a week. They don't just use the ORT as the children get bored with them.

The school have been at pains to point out that the home work should only take 10 minutes, and if it is taking longer to let the teacher know so she can adjust things.

To me it sounds like your DD is getting a lot of homework, and it certainly sounds too much for her personally. I would make an appointment with the teacher.

My son is now in yr 2, state school, and last year he had so much homework I considered moving him to private as we would get less!!
For example a typical week would be:
read every night;
write in a diary every night;
10 spellings - very hard words;
lieracy, maths and topic work at the weekend.
So usually 20 mins a night plus about 3 hours on a weekend.
To be honest it ruins our weekends as it 'hangs over us' and has meant he could not do some activities he wanted to out of school. I work full time so we're not home until 6pm so it is very difficult.
Unfortunately this year looks like it will be the same .