Parent-Teacher Meeting

[carolb54]

I have had several Parent-teachers meeting with my dd class teacher but at times find them not very useful.

What are your views and opinions on parent-teacher meeting?

Depends really, i usually go armed with questions that i need answering.

what do you wnat out of the meeting?

Thanks Laloony. I normally do that as well, but for the last couple of meetings that I attended, I have come up with a different approach - in that what I do before the meeting is go and have a look at my dd work throughout the term and then look at areas that dd needs assistance and ask her class teacher what suggestions they have to improve on dd weak points and areas,.

Before I use to sit and listen to what the teacher has to say but 9 times out of 10, I am told what dd is good at but not areas that dd needs help in.

I find them frustrating because the teachers wont give specific details about your child, just generalisations.

They do all the analysis and have exact details of your kids results but dont seem to want to share it. I dont care about other kids, but I want to know exactly where mine or at, and what areas are strengths and weaknesses.

Just because they are at or above expected levels for their ages doesnt mean they dont struggle in some areas. They are capable of a lot more with a bit more encouragement from school.

I know that my kids had issues with name calling and being hit, but when I try to discuss this with the teachers, all I get is "we havent noticed anything" or "its not affecting them in the classroom".

I have spoken to the teachers about areas taht I would like to see improvements in and need their support to do it, but again these have been washed over and ignored and the parents meeting responses have been "everythings fine" . But the issues that I have concerns about are not fine and need resolving before they get too old to be able to fix it.

So, in answer to your question, the meetings are a waste of time.

I do agree with you RoadArt. I think they are probably trying to be diplomat in what answers they give to parents. Again they are probably trying to cover their backs, bus us as parents would like to know exactly areas that our dd or ds need assistance and encouragement to improve.

Sometimes I try to avoid them and then I get a note or a call from the class teacher asking me if I would like to come in.

It is so true - their answers and responses are always the same that your dd or ds is at the level that they should be yet if you try to push and ask for more details they never give you anything. At times I think their responses are so generic it is like they are reading from a script and if you divulge and try and go beyond their "script" they are not able to respond.

Because of my experiences so far with my dd class teacher (dd is only in year 2 [hmm)), my approach towards these parent-teacher meetings have changed,and I have adopted a different approach which I intend to use going forward.

Hopefully by the time my dd reaches year 6, I will be able to realise dd weaknesses and work on them.

I Concur RoadArt, I always feel that I am given a carefully scripted presentation of generalised bullet points. On every occasion I have walked away wishing I had asked more questions but feeling that had I have done so, I might have been placed on detention.

All difficult questions are skilfully deflected, all concerns meet the same careful response and dare you question their assessment you are made to feel that you are being a problem parent. I really can?t wait for the next one.

Every time I come away feeling that education is something that is done to you and that parents and children alike should be compliant and greatful.

I have found out my own DC strengths and weaknesses by using Education City!

I spent many hours trawing the results of each game, and researching the curriculum and was able to build a picture. I found there were a few weak areas and at the end of the year, the school report highlighted these same areas.

There is one particular area that I have asked for extra support and encouragement from the teacher and that is handwriting. But handwriting is not a priority and they wont do anything about it. Instead of improving over the years its got worse and worse. The teachers say they are more interested in the content (which I accept), but the content is garbage and is not being developed. The teacher doesnt seem to even look at the books, and none of them are marked. So the kids feel they dont need to bother and make no effort whatsover.

I asked the teacher for results the other day after assessments - the answer - doing fine! and wouldnt give me the results.

I ask direct questions. When the teacher fudges the answer I ask again. Eventually I get a proper response but it does remind me of a cross examination and I find it terribly tedious. I would like to know ds's strengths and weaknesses without having to guess and interpret.

I always find them very useful,as a parent, and enlightening as a teacher. Just have a conversation.

Piscesmoon, why enlightening as a teacher?

Am I just lucky with my DC's teachers? I feel I have always got an honest, thorough appraisal of their abilities, achievements, effort and behaviour. I usually enjoy them very much.

As a teacher, although secondary rather than primary, I try to give the same.

It explains an awful lot about the DC, once you have seen the parent!!

As a teacher I prepare a summary of the child's current performance and illustrate it on a ladder so the parents can see how their child compares with the national expected level. I will outline three targets/areas needing home support for literacy and numeracy on this sheet too. I encourage parents to look at their child's books before the appointment time so they can ask specific questions and always open the meeting with, "how do you feel your child is getting on.... what would you like us to talk about?".

Piscesmoon, I should have thought that was rather discriminatory, in our pc culture. The fact remains that few DCs break the mould. I have known a few. Just the other week I encountered a very bright, eloquent Yr 1, really confident child with a highly developed vocabulary and excellent attitude to learning. When mum came over for a chat, I tried to send her away with the wrong child. I would never have put the two together.

It depends on the teacher, but I have found that I get more out of them if we start by me expressing any concerns I have. Tbh, I am never that interested in what the dcs do well at, but where they have problems. Every day I see them at school I focus on the good things they have done, this is my big chance to find out what they need to work on.

It isn't discriminatory at all-it just gives you the full picture. I didn't mean that the DC takes after the parent!
As the teacher I always make some notes beforehand,as a reminder to me, but I start with asking the parents if they have anything special they want to discuss and/or any concerns- and we take it from there. It is a conversation-the idea that we are working together to get the best for the DC. I can't say in advance how it will go.
It is very, very difficult to unwind from afterwards.

MollieO - can you give some examples of the sort of 'direct questions' you ask?

I am another parent who usually comes away feeling the meetings are vague and superficial with a standard 'party line' script.

I want the teachers to be honest and specific about dd's strengths and weaknesses, and want to know how she is doing relative to her peers - not because I'm competitive, but in order to judge her ability and better understand where she might need support, and where she might need additional stimulation.

I want meetings geared toward how to challenge dd and ensure she is doing herself justice and working to her potential, but usually come out of the meetings feeling pleased that dd is (so far) meeting the class standards, but dissatisfied that there is little 'plan' for her beyond that.

Just ask those questions directly Earlybird.

I've always found them informative. Also, I think worth bearing in mind that if there are any real problems you are likely to get called in well before the standard parent-teacher meeting

I slightly dislike the fact that they've been moved in dd's school from the start of the summer term (so you hear about what they've been doing that year) to just before half term in the autumn.

Fine for dd this year as she's had this teacher all last year too - but quite soon if they're in a new class with new teacher. (It generally seems to take teachers a little while to experience the full force of dd's personality - or perhaps to lose hope that it is merely a question of settling down . . . ? ) But I guess given this thread that perhaps it is standard timing these days?

piscesmoon - you're right, of course. It just seems that, no matter what my intentions, I come out of the meetings feeling dissatsified - as if I've been fobbed off (in a very nice way), and have no real information.

Often the teacher will speak in general terms about the standards expected for the year, and then will show me some of dd's work. But, those conversations are not very useful because it feels a bit like 'show and tell' rather than discussing dd's strengths and weaknesses specifically and discussing a plan to meet her needs.

The teachers seem to be 'on guard' instead of willingly sharing information. I understand teachers may be wary as some parents can use information as 'ammunition'.

Perhaps i need to focus on asking a few, very specific questions. Now......what sort of questions would open the door (in a non-threatening way) to a substantive discussion?