DS just started Reception and has been picked on in playground by Yr1/2

[mamatilly]

DS has been just one week in reception class, doing mornings and lunch...
he came home today and said while he was playing happily on his own at breaktime, two boys and a girl chased him round, told him he looked like a girl then said they would kick his face in. he found a teacher and told them. nothing really happened.

what would you do? i am just so upset, how can i send him back there next week, how will i know he will be safe? he is so innocent, small for his age, not a big fighter or anything, just a sweet boy...

That's horrible. I can understand why you are upset. I would let the teacher know what happened, as often they are not the ones supervising outside play. Maybe he could be buddied up with some other older children who will play nicely with him? Our reception children have their own playground, which I think helps, especially in these early days. You really don't want anything which is going to put him off going to school.

When my dd started school last year there seemed to be a lot of these chasing "games". I told her that if she didn't want to be chased she should stand still rather than run, then they'd find someone else to chase. It seemed to help. Hope he has a better week next week...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I would escalate v quickly, i.e. ask to see the FS leader or the Head. They shouldn't mind looking into something like this just to make sure. It really has to be unacceptable. Hope he is ok.

Tell him he did the right thing; that he doesn't have to play a game unless he wants to, and should tell a teacher if he needs to (The taboo about "tale telling" doesn't kick in until they're a bit older).

The teacher may have intervened with the other children in ways that DS did not see.

Try not too worry, as he settles in it's quite likely he'll find playtime easier. Are there any like-minded children in his class? Is there (or could there be) a "quiet play" area in the playground?

Oh that's horrible, poor ds (and you)

I would reassure ds that that is unacceptable behaviour and that you and the teacher will see what can be done about it.

Go into the school on monday morning and find out what is being/what will be done about this. It's just not on that a new starter in reception is told that he will have his face kicked in! I absolutely would not let the school squirm out of tackling this - your son needs to know that him being treated like this will not be tolerated.

I agree that of course it is not acceptable for a Reception (or any other age) group child to be threatened with having their face kicked in ...

However, I know at DS's school a regular game is "get the girls" where the "girls" are not necessarily actually girls but just people assigned to be so for the purposes of the girls always being the ones chased. And they regularly compete to come up with the most gruesome thing they will do with the "girls" when they are caught.

IT would be totally "normal" for DS to come home and say that Josh chased him because he was a girl and told him that if he caught him he would chop off his head and make it into jelly. I generally say "yes dear" and nod sagely.

If there any possibility that your DS might have imagined worse than was actually happening? Of course say to him that he should say that he doesn't want to play if he doesn't want to, but possibly things may not be as bad as you are imagining.

thankyou for your ideas, i will catch up with teacher on monday morning and ask how they are going to ensure DS will be safe at play times, and that it seems essential to provide support during these early weeks.

i have told DS to stand still if someone tries to chase him, and also find a grown-up and tell his reception teacher if anyone mean, AND play close to his Reception class mates...

Feeling pretty anxious about next week TBH and wondering if we chose the right school for him... we went for large school because of wonderful opportunities etc, and did not pick small cozy undisciplined village school.

FIngers crossed for monday.

...just wonder if anyone has any more suggestions for tomorrow...