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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DH is going in to see teacher tomorrow, opinions please?

37 replies

TotorosOcarina · 14/09/2010 19:51

DS(5) is in yr1.

They have a time each day where they can 'show things' they have brought in.

DS is really sensitive and also shy and we are trying to build his confidence (teacher knows this).

On the way to school DS2(4) wanted to pick leaves to show his really lovely reception teacher.

So DS1 also collected eache colour of leaf he could find and some red helicopters (those seed things) which he was really excited about as he had only seen green, brown or yellow ones beofre (his words)

So at bedtime DH was giving the DS's their 'ticks' on their chrats and he draws them a little picture, because of this morning he drew leaves on DS2s and 'helicopters' on DS's.

DS then starts to cry and told DH that his teacher, upon seeing the seeds told himto put them in the bin as he wasn't allowed to 'show' them in class.

DS was upset and put them back into his pocket (he really treasures things like that)

The teacher then went on to tell him that from now on you can only bring things in to show you have 'won' like Karate belts or horseriding medals.

Now first of all, DS doesn't do anything like that. We are a very low income family and cannot afford for them to do any lessons like that and its not something DS would want to do for now anyways.

So this leaves him unable to ever bring anything in.

Its upset DH because he feels that:

A- its crushed DSs confidence unnecessarly(sp?!)
B- its unfair to say to kids you can only talk about costly activities
c- DH thinks its a really good thing to talk about anyways! nature / changing seasons etc!!

I know people will be reading this and thinking 'get a grip' but hes only 5 ffs, why put these limitations on him already?!

It was the same thing with books, all last year they were encouraged to bring in books from home to be read from the class.

DS got excited last week and brough his very favourite book in only to get a stern 'put it away - we only read classroom books'

Arghh, im really starting to dislike this school.

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ButterpieBride · 14/09/2010 19:53

Aw, your poor DS! I would be livid.

Original poster

TotorosOcarina · 14/09/2010 19:55

DH is more upset than me TBH, he really treasures DSs little personality and hiscuriosity about things and I just think its mean to exclude it like that!

OP posts:

MollieO · 14/09/2010 19:58

It is a shame that the teacher didn't explain the rules first. At ds's school they have show and tell in reception only. Once they get into yr 1 and older the only show they seem to have is in assembly. Things like certificates, badges etc. Whilst ds does do out of school activities the sort of things he does never have any achievement awards so he never has anything to show. Fortunately it doesn't seem to bother him.

LublieAva · 14/09/2010 20:01

I think that the teacher has been unreasonable here. I can understand your DH feeling protective of his (shy) child and inclined to nurture an interest in nature.

Acanthus · 14/09/2010 20:04

Oh but half the kids will be bringing in leaves every day at this rate! Shame she upset him though. Sure it won't have to be costly stuff - just unusual stuff (which, let's be honest, this wasn't really)

Original poster

TotorosOcarina · 14/09/2010 20:05

Lol Acanthus I dd say that to him!

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nowherewoman · 14/09/2010 20:05

She sounds horrible and also rather impolite tbh. I would be upset too.

lal123 · 14/09/2010 20:06

Your poor DS. DD1 (aged 6 - P3) was distraught this pm because her teacher forgot to let her show the class her new Go-Gos....

Original poster

TotorosOcarina · 14/09/2010 20:06

Nowherewoman, I have to say I am not so pleased with her,

but I suppose you can't love every teacher - we adored his teacher last year, she was fabulous!

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Acanthus · 14/09/2010 20:07

It's early days though, she might have her strengths

mrsruffallo · 14/09/2010 20:09

But not all children have unusual stuff. I think the teacher is wrong, it is a wonderful thing that your son gets so much pleasure from nature.
His enthusiasm for his collection is what she should have concentrated on, not the fact that anyone could have brought these in.
I'm with your DH, I wouldn't want anyone crushing a child's spirit like that

MmeBlueberry · 14/09/2010 20:10

Oh, give over.

Original poster

TotorosOcarina · 14/09/2010 20:13

He doesn't do any activities like horse riding and stuff.

He plays with his brother, draws, collects caterpillers, goes on nature walks collecting conkers and things.

We spend alot of time outside so these are his passions.

I feel bad because I know ALOT of kids in his class could just shrug it off but he will think about it for a long time and it will affect his confidence in approaching her, I know it will.

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mrz · 14/09/2010 20:14

I don't do show and tell but I love it when children bring me leaves and flowers (sorry but they do go in the bin but not until the children have left)

CheckingCheques · 14/09/2010 20:19

Yanbu. Tell dh to focus on the confidence knocking for a shy boy by devaluing his efforts and the educational value of what he took in - including the whole thing about using initiative.

Tell him not to be too defensive or emotional (talking about how lovely DS is and sweet etc - that might get her back up - believe it or not, he might grate on her - sometimes teachers just don't get on with some children)

nigglewiggle · 14/09/2010 20:23

I would tell your DH to tread carefully. I don't think you can take the interpretation of a 5 year old as gospel. I'm not saying that your son is lying and on the face of it, I can see why you are upset, but I wouldn't charge in before you hear what was actually said by the teacher.

Hulababy · 14/09/2010 20:23

Even if she wasn;t prepared to do it as a "show" the teacher did not need to tell him to bin them. She should have shown an interest in what your DS had brought in and allowed him tot alk to her about them, and then asked to put them somewhere save til hometime.

I work in a Y1 class and we allow parts of circle time to include time to share news or show items, but we do not allow toys in (this is explained beforehand.) We would def have looked at and talked about the "helicopters" your Ds brought in.

Teacher401 · 14/09/2010 20:25

As you say that your child is sensitive, how do you know that he has got the right end of the stick? Personally I don't think it's an issue really and not one to go into school about, there really are much bigger issues that people see teachers about. If I was teaching a class and saw a load of stuff on the table that looked messy I would tell them to bin it. The amount of times children bring in mud from the playground because they think it's amazing, becomes irritating.

booyhoo · 14/09/2010 20:26

oh how awful for your ds.

i don't understand why she didn't make it clear at the start that they were to bring in award type stuff. also, surely the whole point of show and tell is for children to be learn how to talk to an audience and 'teach' the audience something about their item. if that item is something the child has a passion for they are going to enjoy the experience far more and will put alot more effort into talking about it. i am with you on this one, i would have to speak to her aswell and find out exactly what the rules are and also le her know how upset ds was.

DinahRod · 14/09/2010 20:29

Have every sympathy with your lovely ds.

Perhaps dh can seek 'clarification' re show and tell since reading and nature are ds' hobbies and since he does not attend clubs he is unlikely to bring in things he has 'won'

However, if ds wants, I will send him a exploring nature certificate to take in, let me know.

Original poster

TotorosOcarina · 14/09/2010 20:29

good point niggle :)

Teacher, I do appreciate what you say but DS1 is just well 'him' and if thats what he said happened then I believe him,

If DS2 told me so I would not take his word as gospel at all, hes a totally different child and is prone to fibbing or even seeing things a different way.

DS1 however is very mature, hes like a little old man - his teacher last year was astonished by how 'old' he was and his ability to h adult discussion.

I know I'm his mum and some of you will think I am believing him because of that biut its not, I believe him because thats how he is... if it were my other son I wouldn't

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booyhoo · 14/09/2010 20:30

teacher i totally understand that seeing mud everyday for 3 months can be irritating but surely tehre is a way to go about telling the child it is inappropriate to bring into class? the child obviously sees something in the mud that is worth showing to teacher. humouring and then telling them that while it was lovely to see it is not supposed to be in class is far better than just dismissing them and telling them to bin it.

c0rns1lk · 14/09/2010 20:30

I think she was mean and missed an opportunity there.

DinahRod · 14/09/2010 20:30

sorry, too many 'sinces'

pinkthechaffinch · 14/09/2010 20:37

What about getting your son to join Beavers?

We have found that it has greatly increased DS' confidence- very nice to have friends outside of school.

He could then bring in his badges and talk about the activities they do there.

If he is nervous about going they are usually very willing to have adult helpers too (with CRB checks)

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