How would you deal with this?

[colapips]

My ds is at a private co-ed prep school, we found out today the 3 games sessions are: gymnastics, music and movement and dance.

Therefore no team sports, no ball skills and no boy sports.

The year group is 60% boys to 40% girls.

I've approached the head, to be told the boys will love the dancing.

I know my son won't enjoy the dancing, but more to the point he's also not getting taught in the other areas (team skills/ball skills/competitive (winning/losing)) that I think are so important for both sexes.

I don't know what to do now, feel it's drastic to pull him out of school for lack of sports, but what else can I do?

Thisisyesterday I so hope not due to competitiveness, last year we had a "proper" sports day, if that's scrapped this year, I will be fuming.

i think it'll be fine tbh. they're makign the most of their teachers, which is a good thing and it's good for children to have different experiences and learn new things

try and embrace it even if you secretly hate it!

Ok I'll be good -

But...

All those lovely pitches being put to waste - can I put a football in his bookbag???

Just a little one?!?!?

yes, you can!

On reflection I don't think this is too odd. Prep schools tend to be brilliant at sports in years 3-6. Before then there are odd clubs etc but that's because they aren't brilliant at getting changed and showers don't seem to feature. So I don't think it's really absurd. Although you'd expect a tag rugby club or something.

It seems that this school was particularly brilliant in previous years compared to other pre-preps and is now in line with others.

What do the other parents think? Will they also raise this with the head/governors? At my DC's private school things like this have generally been changed when there has been a strong consensus amongst the parents. I think your points are perfectly valid and I would feel the same as you if either my DD or my DS was in that situation.

DS is doing dance this half term (his school swaps every half term). To tie in with their topic of "Dinosaurs", they have been practising a "dinosaur stomp" complete with roaring (!) DS thinks it is great. I'd hope the school can tailor the session to engage the boys' attention.

Sounds perfectly normal for yr 1. Ds's school was the same even down to karate being the only after school activity.

Now in yr 2 they have started tag rugby.

Ds is now allowed to do a maximum of two after school activities out of a choice of four.

I know a couple of the other parents have been to speak to the head about the lack of options.

So hopefully they will listen to the parents.

I asked ds what he did to day (first lesson), he went into a yoga position and went 'mmmmmmmmm'. I said 'oh yoga' He said 'no relaxation class'

Argh!

I know this y2 are doing the same as us, I will just have to hope that by y2 we've convinced them that one session of tag rugby or something won't kill them and is good for them.

How many after school activities would you want him to do and why can't you organise extra curricular things for him?

I would be careful of doing too much personally. In yr 1 ds did sports twice a week and the sort of things you describe. In the summer term they did athletics which seemed to consist of running and long jump.

Ds's school is very careful about how much they let them do after school.

He is at school 8.30-5.30 four days a week and 8.30-3.30 on the fifth day.

For this reason it's hard to do extra curricular as I say he already does swimming/golf/gymnastics outside of school.

On top of this he's got travelling time to and from school, down time, and homework.

Hence why I really don't care whether it's during the school day or after school, but I want him because more importantly its what he wants to do, the opportunity to kick a ball around, even very informal, of there's a two jumpers on the floor and they are the goals.

He comes home, and is just desperate to play football, which is all well and good, but a) he's not doing it with kids his own age, and b) I don't want to come in from work and play football!!!

He partakes fully in all academic, he does do all actitivites at school, and according to the school does not moan about anything, although he does moan about it at home.

Gosh are those school hours or does that include before/after school care?

Can't he do football club at the weekend? Ds can do football as an after school club from yr 2 (not interested in the slightest though!).

8.30-3.30 school 3.30-5.30 after school clubs

He can do, and that's what I'll have to find, but a) what I'm paying for fees, begrudging paying out more for what I believe should be included and b) we do gymnastics during the week, saturdays are swimming, sundays are golf. What with parties, family time, and now football training doesn't leave alot of down time.

Presumably you are paying fees in the expectation of a good education and smaller class sizes.

Ds is at school 7.30 to 6.30 2 days a week and 8.00 to 6.00 the other 3 days. In yr 1 he did karate at school after school and piano during the school day. In yr 2 he will continue with karate and piano and add judo as an after school activity at school. He may also do chess at lunch if they offer it to yr 2s.

He also does tennis after school (not at school) and cricket (season finished now). At weekends he does golf, swimming and Stagecoach on Saturdays and rugby and horse riding on Sundays (same schedule as yr 1 although rugby is seasonal).

If you feel your ds's education is being affected by the lack of activities and choice of sporting activities maybe you should look at other schools?

MollieO I am paying fees in the expectation of all the added extras. I am fortunate that if I wanted to my catchment local school is small class sizes (max 25) and ofsted rated outstanding.

But what I thought I was paying for was the music facilities (yes he is using these and is having piano lessons during the day), LSU (been advised by Ed Psych to be every day, school now only agreeing to max 3 normally 2 sessions a week), sports facilities, preparation for common entrance, art facilities - he's not had access yet (but I think that happens in y2), learn a 2nd language (only available as after school activity).

I may have to review and go and visit other privates in the area.

Ds has been learning French since Reception so I'm surprised that you can only access that as a after school activity. Frankly I'd be more concerned by that than whether he can do football at school.

Don't know what LSU is. Is it learning support? I'm surprised you are restricted as presumably you pay extra for this anyway. Ds sees the SEN teachers twice a week but there are others who have more frequent support so no restriction as far as I know.

It sounds to me as if the school isn't meeting your expectations. I'm happy for my ds to do weekend activities as that way I have some involvement in what he does, which I wouldn't do if he did them all at school.

With regards to French and Spanish the fact he can do it, and no additional charge, and he's there any way I haven't seen it as a problem. But you are right it should be part of the school day.

Yes sorry LSU is learning support, well that's what I thought which has resulted in more meetings between us all - there are other children to consider school's line!

We don't like having too many regular weekend activities, a) because more than one child so here there and everywhere and b) we like to be able to go on breaks away as a family for the weekend, and see grandparents, swimming early saturday morning, golf late sunday afternoon to enable us maximum time in between.

It's difficult because other than no ball sports my ds does enjoy going in, and like I say the other two issues - language I'm accepting of situation after school, LSU I'll keep pushing are only my issues my ds doesn't care about either. He just wants to get out on those astro pitches.

It does seem odd that yr 2 don't even do ball skills. Ds's pre-prep place a lot of emphasis on sport and running around in general. Reception and yr 1 do sport twice a week and yr 2 and above three times a week. They restrict after school activities as they are concerned that a lot is crammed into the day already and the pupils will be tired. Probably the right balance even though ds has plenty of downtime at school because of his long day.

Quite a few of ds's weekend activites are pay as you go rather than having to commit to a term's worth so that makes weekend trips away easier.

If your EP has advised daily sessions then I'm surprised the SENCO hasn't arranged this. Resources shouldn't be an issue. At ds's school they have various SENCOs and LSAs who take support lessons but will get people coming in from outside to take extra support as well. The alternative is to get speak to the EP and arrange for someone to come into the school specifically for your ds's lessons.

Where abouts in the country are you??? I think I need to move my ds to your school. It seems to meet all my requirements.

With your school times is it a boarding school?

DS is wanting to go to a boys only boarding school at y3.

They spoke on phone to EP, who told them again what support they need, they said yes to her, then told me that they wouldn't be doing that, because it wasn't necessary for him and there were other children.

We're in Berkshire. Not a boarding school but very good wraparound care provision. Co-ordinated education so boys and girls are educated separately on separate sites but get together for some school trips and activities and at after school care - means I get ds telling me about his 'girlfriend'!

Did you see the EP based on the school's suggestion or your own? If through the school I'd be furious at how dismissive they are. Ds was tested in yr 1. We discussed whether it was worth involving an EP and the head SENCO advised us not to waste our money on getting report as it wouldn't be of much value at age 5 (ds has memory problems probably due to being a prem). They have also done an IEP and provided regular feedback on how he is getting on. In yr 1 he missed lesson time to attend his support sessions. In yr 2 they have scheduled them for before school so he won't miss lessons.

If your ds is in y1 I really don't see what the problem is. I am sure that he will learn the requisite team playing skills as he moves up the school. I am sorry but you are definitely over reacting!

That set up MollieO is fantastic, it's that setup that my older child has at senior school, and to me it's the right balance of social interaction, they share the playing fields it's what separates the two sites, so at lunchtime they can hang out together, and then certain subjects at 'A' levels are done in the respective sites, and school transport is shared so travelling to and from school is together.

Unfortunately the school have not supported either of my children with regards to LSU, not being boastful but just truthful when I say, they are both highly intelligent but are dyslexic, which makes their performance slightly above average. Therefore not a problem in the school's eyes, the EP, was explaining this week about my ds that his potential was far far greater, and that if he was of average intelligence he would be failing significantly and the school are like, but he's fine he's performing slightly above average. I want him performing at whatever his potential is, which is significantly higher than where the school have him. I don't want it all happening in y1, but I do want it to be a steady progression, and by the time he leaves at y8 he should be where his potential is in my opinion. (Subject to him of course being willing to work at his potential).

Cansu you are most probably right - I just see it as fantastic for girls, but although ok for boys, with a bit of addition boys (with girls of course being able to fully partake) would also be fully catered for.