Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

Original poster

Really unhappy with DD's new school...

18 replies

minko · 09/09/2010 18:00

Is it possible to stay on the waiting list for another state school and go private until a space comes up?? Or once you're out of the system is that it??

Would consider home educating in the meantime though...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PixieOnaLeaf · 09/09/2010 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Runoutofideas · 09/09/2010 18:17

Is your dd unhappy? If not you could leave her in her current school until a place comes up in a different one. This would save her moving twice if you go for the private option in the short term. What is the problem with the new school? Is it something that could be fixed?

Original poster

minko · 09/09/2010 18:24

Oh I posted about this the other day and got slated. But the school seems fine, it's the parents of the kids I have a problem with. I hate all the swearing I hear on my way into school, and the smoking and the tattoos etc. I just wonder about the kids of these parents when this is what their role models are like. And last year they had to cancel the annual school trip and half the parents wouldn't pay the £10 for their kids.

DD is unhappy, but mainly because she's only been there 4 days. I think she would be fine given time.

It's just a stark contrast to the school she was at before.

OP posts:

BreevandercampLGJ · 09/09/2010 18:27

So why in heavens name did you send her there in the first place it sounds vile.

Original poster

minko · 09/09/2010 18:30

The school looked fine when it was just the kids! The teachers are lovely. The Ofsted is 'good', just have snob issues with the parents...

We didn't have a lot of choice anyway as we have just moved into the area.

OP posts:

Original poster

minko · 09/09/2010 18:31

Can you really go private and swap back?? We have a fantastic local primary which we would love DD to go to. We are 14th on the waiting list but their intake is 120+ each year. Haven't a clue how long it might take to get further up the list.

OP posts:

ragged · 09/09/2010 18:37

I expect it depends on your LEA policy -- no good asking here because your LEA are the ones to tellyou for sure.

There should be an education officer you can contact....hm, I would phone the school I want to attend, ask what they think is possible, and ask who they think is the authority person to ask and confirm it all with.

I thought that you got treated unfairly on the other thread, btw.

Original poster

minko · 09/09/2010 19:00

I am amassing a list of questions for the LEA man. I just hate speaking to him though as I get a bit overwraught with it all...

Thanks by the way Ragged.

OP posts:

Original poster

minko · 09/09/2010 20:05

Oh btw, we're in Surrey if anyone knows the answer to the private school question...

OP posts:

Runoutofideas · 10/09/2010 06:55

For what it is worth, I wouldn't be happy either! You may find it doesn't take long to move up the waiting list, if there is a lot of movement locally. DD is in a class of 90 intake and over the reception year they lost I think 8 or 9 children, who were replaced from the waiting list. (Well regarded school). Most moved because parents moved for jobs - a couple left for independent schools as the parents saw the realities of 30 children in a class! Some of those 14 may turn down a place once their children are settled elsewhere - on the other hand if people move in nearer, they will go above you.

I'm sure you will still retain your place on the waiting list if you go privately. I would be concerned though about the disruption of moving schools, if it is just for the short term. Good luck!

Bairyheaver · 10/09/2010 07:38

Sending her to a fee paying school would seem to be quite an expensive solution, as normally you have to pay a term's deposit which you will lose if you don't give a term's notice, and of course your desired state school will not hold a place open for you dd for a term.

This obviously is not a problem if you can afford to lose £6k plus uniform expenses etc

rabbitstew · 10/09/2010 08:14

Oh dear. I would hate to have ended up in your position. It is important to feel reasonably happy with your child's school. Would volunteering to read with children at the school, or joining the School Association, help, by giving you a better idea of the actual goings-on within the school and helping you get to know the parents who do actually want to get involved in their children's school life? If you think even this wouldn't help, then I would probably opt to home educate for a while, if I were reasonably confident this wouldn't be more than a year. Or, if you think you might actually like to have your child privately educated at primary level, you could consider transferring, but I'm not convinced that would be a brilliant temporary measure. It's just the uncertainty of the timing that's so difficult for you, and no choice can get around that!

sunnydelight · 10/09/2010 08:56

I would home ed her while waiting for a place personally unless you can afford to keep her private once you send her there. What happens if she is really happy and loves the school (and you do too) then you have to move her again?

mummytime · 10/09/2010 09:08

Maybe email the local MP?

mrsgboring · 10/09/2010 09:20

Minko if the Ofsted is good then given the intake you describe, the school is doing a really good job.

FWIW, I went to a school with an extremely deprived intake, that also punched above its weight achievement-wise. I was there from Year 1 to Year 4 and still look back on it even now with great fondness. It was also, IMO a good life education for me to (ghastly snobbish phrase coming up) "mix with people from all walks of life" as the rest of the time I was in my middle class bubble and would have remained so all through university.

Honestly I would give it a bit longer, and there's no way I'd adopt a stopgap solution that you couldn't continue long term. If you can't really afford school fees, don't start paying them with the plan of uprooting your DD twice. Similarly if HomeEd isn't viable for more than a few months, I'd be really wary of starting it.

If there was an actual incident, or you're either of you unhappy after several weeks then of course something should be done - would probably choose home ed over starting another school you've no intention of staying at.

basildonbond · 10/09/2010 10:05

don't underestimate the effect on your dd of changing schools, being the new girl, learning a whole new way of doing things, getting used to it, and then having to change again a few months down the line ...

obviously some children have to move schools several times due to circumstances, but I'd be wary of making any changes at this stage which you know will only be temporary

dd's just moved schools for the start of y3 and while she's enjoying it, it has been stressful for her and I wouldn't relish the thought of making her do it all over again any time soon ...

that doesn't mean you shouldn't think about your options - the school your dd is at does sound grim ...

Original poster

minko · 10/09/2010 18:54

Many thanks for all your thoughts, they've been really helpful.

There have been developments. I went in to see DD's class teacher today to talk about how she's doing, what she enjoys and how she was taught at her previous school and that sort of thing.

I have to say, her new teacher is fab. I have a lot of confidence in her. I was quite frank and said I was a bit scared of the parents, and she admitted that so was she when she started(!), but she loves working there and has been there for 5 years. She says DD's class are the nicest she has had in her time there and she hardly needs the 2 full time teaching assistants. The curriculum sounds interesting and imaginative. DD also won an award today for being the happiest child in the class (oh, the irony!) as voted for by her classmates so she is very chuffed!

Of course, I still have my reservations but I feel reassured. I think we will stick it out, at least until a space comes up at the primary where we're 14th on the list. Moving her twice more just sounds too cruel!

BTW, I'm also going to take the advice of rabbitstew and join the PTA. I've already volunteered to help one morning a week. I'm turning into a right busybody!

OP posts:

mrsgboring · 10/09/2010 19:39

So pleased things are looking up. Hope it continues for you and DD.

Flip