I think I am racist, no I am racist

[Changebagsandgladrags]

So today was DS's 4th day at school. I've tried to make an effort with the parents by saying hello, they reply and then turn around and start talking in another language.

The parents seem split into two groups: the polish group and the asian group, both non-english speaking. I've seen another man who speaks english but his DS isn't in my DS's class. I've spoken to him. Apart from that there's just one other asian man who speaks to me in english although he speaks to the other ladies in another language.

I get quite scared that I'll never get to know any of the parents in my DS's class if I can't speak to them and I'm feeling a bit isolated. I'd be prepared to feel isolated in another country perhaps, but not in my own.

Added to that when I took DS in today all the polish kids sat on one table speaking to each other in polish. So it's like the class is split.

But running through the heart of all this is that I've found out I must be quite racist to think the things I'm thinking.

Very early days. Your child is going to be in this class - and you are going to see the same parents - day in day out for years to come.

80% of parents at my son's school do not speak English as their first language. It hasn't stopped him making friends - or me having a friendly day-to-day relationship with the other mums and dads.

Give it time. Keep smiling and saying hello. Make the effort. I am sure it will all be OK.

Changebagsandgladrags Can you ask DS if any of the children can speak English in class? If so perhaps invite one of these over each week with their mum or dad so he and you can get to know them and their parents.

thefirstmrsDeVere

Out of interest how do the children that start with no English manage to understand what they are supposed to be learning? Do they have someone to help them interpret what the teacher is saying in the beginning?

It depends. There are some TAs in the classrooms but they dont speak Tamil, Polish/Urdu or whatever.(unless they just happen to know it)

The children seem to pick up English very quickly even if its never spoken at home. I worked with very young receptions (Summer born?) and many of them had very little English (including the English ones). They all picked it up without much extra support.

I think they are at a far bigger disadvantage than your child TBH. I would be astounded if they were given lessons in their home language. I have never seen it happen and I cant think where the funding would come from. Someone working in the system now would be better qualified to comment though.

I honestly have never come across difficulties between children. They get along if they want to.

My son has ASD , learning diffs and a condition that makes it difficult for him to process language. His best friend has severe cerebral palsy, no learning diffs and has very little recognisable speech (to those who are not close). They get on brilliantly and know exactly what each other is saying

I do think its difficult as an adult if you cannot make friends because of language barriers but those barriers are really not exclusive non English speaker. I have had children in the school system for over 15 years and I have experienced a lot more unfriendliness from British people who simply think I am not their type.

Give it some time, its early days.

Your child could be in a school that is 100% white like the one at the top of my road and I can guarentee you wouldnt want anything to do with the parents there.

Don't worry about your Ds making friends .My ds went to school with all different cultures and made loads of friends.

Don't forget that to have your children starting school in another culture from the one that you're used to and in which you went to school can be quite daunting.

Polish children don't start school until they're older, for one thing, so the parents will be especially worried as to whether their children were OK. It's normal that they'll be comparing notes with their friends, trying to ensure they know how the system works, what they should be doing etc.

They are probably shy about their English, too - they may not get to speak that much English over the course of a normal day. It'll get better, indeed they're likely to find that their children starting school leads to a considerable improvement in their own (the parents') English, since they'll get more chance to speak it. But they'll be hesitant at first.

I am in the minority here, being one of a few Brits in a French speaking environment.

My children learn to speak French within a year of moving here and now are very fluent.

I know it is hard, I have had a couple of conversations with the local mums (in my terrible French or their much better English) but have made friends with other English speakers.

Are the children allowed to speak their mother tongue in school? Our children were only allowed to speak French at school which was hard at first but they picked the language up quicker.

Tbh, when we were in Germany I had the same problems as you are having now, and I spoke fluent German. Some mums are friendly, some less so. Persevere, see how your DS gets on and don't let it get to you.

Slightly off topic but I was caught by suprise in our Tescos last week, where I know there is a whole section of Polish food.

The person in front of us started to complain about something to the chap on the till in Polish and they answered them back in their own language!

I went to a small convent school in London. Most of the Polish children arrived speaking little English. The school had an English only rule in the class and the playground. The girls picked up English very quickly. This was back in the sixties but I don't see why a similar policy could not be in place today.