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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

problems at school

23 replies

tan85 · 08/09/2010 12:34

hi everyone advice needed please

my son is undergoing a diagnosis for adhd which i made his school aare of he's been there for 5 days and they are saying they wont take much more he hates going we have a huge episode every morning and he then lashes out throughout the day which i kno is wrong

this morning i overheard a teacher saying how fed up of him she was etc i feel like i cannot talk to them as they are always short with me its tearing me apart i really dont know what to do or what i can do hes my only child

please any advice would be appreciated

OP posts:

LIZS · 08/09/2010 12:48

How old is he ? Ask for an urgent meeting with the Senco and teacher. It is very early days but they need to put agreed strategies in place to deal with the issues while awaiting a full assessment and you have an opportunity to take the initiative.

WingsTHEangel · 08/09/2010 12:52

Ask for a meeting with teacher or the Head teacher.

He is adjusting to a new situation and the staff should take that into account.

Don't shy away from the teachers and tell them you overheard them talking about your son.

Original poster

tan85 · 08/09/2010 12:56

thanks for your replies the senco is not due to visit for a few weeks i have been told by other parents there is a better school up the road should i put in for a move?

OP posts:

LIZS · 08/09/2010 13:01

who told you that ? Every school has a SENCO - one of the teachers will be in that role. There may well be Ed Psychs from the LA who visit the school to assess and work with individual pupils. Moving sounds liek a knee jerk reaction. "Better" may not be better for your child - you may well just move the problems from one to another and lose an option should this school not work out.

BeerTricksPotter · 08/09/2010 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

tan85 · 08/09/2010 13:23

my mistake it will be the area senco that is due to visit! the head teacher and teachers dont seem to be interested in discussing the matter and all they keep saying is theres a limit to what we will take this is whats so frustrating they dont seem to want to help etc

OP posts:

LIZS · 08/09/2010 13:26

They have an obligation to help and if needs be you could call the LA and ask to speak to the relevant person to ensure you are going down the right route. Who is arranging the diagnosis ?

mummytime · 08/09/2010 13:26

Phone your local parent partnership. What the school seems to be doing is discriminatory. You need to get some local knowledge and help.

Original poster

tan85 · 08/09/2010 13:30

he visits a pediatrician every 3months for reviews and what not she has said that medication is not an option untill he is at least 6

OP posts:

LIZS · 08/09/2010 13:33

So presumably before he started a report was sent to the school ?

Original poster

tan85 · 08/09/2010 13:35

yes as the area senco was visiting him at nursery and we even had a meeting ith the school before starting to discuss the transition

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 08/09/2010 13:35

They have no choice but to take him. If they don't want him they'll have to expel him - which will look really bad for them.
They can't 'de-enroll' him or anything.

So don't worry about it from their point of view. Only think about it from your child's point of view. What's happening? How can you and school make his day better?

Another school may well be better, and I wouldn't rule it out. But first you need to work with this school and see what they can do.

Legally they cannot get rid of him.

Original poster

tan85 · 08/09/2010 13:37

thank you very much for that its a very positive reply :) i will have to see what today brings when i collect him and as you say try and work something out with the teachers its very upsetting leaving him in tears :(

OP posts:

LIZS · 08/09/2010 13:46

Lots of kids start school in tears, so that in itself should n't be an issue. Is he full time yet ? Maybe he needs a more gradual approach, with structure and consistency which may not be so much in evidence over the first few weeks.

WingsTHEangel · 08/09/2010 14:22

You want to discuss the matter and that is what is important. Does he have a class room assistant to help.
I would wait until the area SENCO has seen him before you decide about moving schools.

I agree with LIZS that maybe a more gradual approach might suit him better.

Is he 5 yet ?

asdx2 · 08/09/2010 15:18

Would advise you to look here and here to be more aware of your entitlement as a parent. Better still phone the helplines and let them talk you through what you can do and what school should be doing.

Original poster

tan85 · 08/09/2010 20:08

thank you so much for all your advice :)

OP posts:

cat64 · 08/09/2010 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mrz · 08/09/2010 20:35

Are you sure Area SENCO's don't normally work in schools they are employed to work with private settings?

cat64 · 08/09/2010 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mummytime · 09/09/2010 07:13

The only thing I would add is; start to keep a note book, and record when you talk to them, and anything they say will happen. You can even get it out with them there. Have your questions or prompt points in it before meetings and make brief notes as each one is addressed. If they seem funny just blame your bad memory.

In the end you d have a record of what is being said. (Even if it is just I will talk to the head teacher/caretaker about that.)

mrz · 09/09/2010 17:05

Well if it is a private school I would be unhappy that they are willing to take school fees but not to meet the needs of my child.

Feenie · 09/09/2010 17:53

cat64 "it makes sense to really go the extra mile to work with the school rather than starting byt 'going to the head' as is the cry so often on MN when things aren't working out. IMO, if you head straight to the top at the first sign of difficulty without trying to sort things out with the 'chalkface' staff, then it leaves you nowhere to go if that doesn't work out."

Actually, latest MN cry hs been 'go straight to Ofsted'!

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