wwyd- teacher shouting

[cluelessnchaos]

I was stopped at the school gates this morning by another parent who wanted to tell me that my ds teacher is singling him out and shouting at him every day, her daughter has become very anxious and scared of this teacher and when mum asks have you had a good day, she often says yes, fine only my ds got shouted at today, ds has had 2 big sisters through the same school and dd1 found this teacher very initimidating and shouty but I hate the idea that he is being singled out, he is not disruptive, his "problem" would be that he is a dreamer and maybe doesnt settle down to work quickly enough, he is working with children a year older than him so its not like he is not doing what is expected of him.

So what do I do now, I dont want to put a problem into his mind that he is not feeling,he hasnt told me of any problems, I have called to speak to the head who is calling me back in an hour, but what do I say?

btw he is 6

Calm down. Your son hasn't complained, so I wouldn't be too worried. Okay you have already phoned the head (I would have waited and talked to my son first). People's perception of shouty can be quite different. It does actually sound as if it could be this girls problem not your sons (but you don't know until you talk to him). Maybe this girl is very sensitive to noise (has SN?) and is seated close to your son, and something your son and teacher don't see as a problem she is over reacting to.

I would tell the head what this Mum has told you and tell her you are concerned, and ask someone to just see if this is really happening. (Maybe a TA or the head could lurk for a bit? Maybe in an adjacent room?)

Good luck, I do hope it is nothing.

Thanks, I do hope its nothing, I know calling the head sounds like overreacting but I know her very well and have a good relationship, I was more concerned about talking to ds and making it a problem, my initial thought was to talk to him but then thought if he has no problem then maybe best to keep it out of his world.

Clueless,alarm bells are ringing for me im afraid.

my ds was 'bullied' by his teacher resulting in him being signed off school for almost 2 years through illhealth and the teacher ended up taking early retirement.

how old was your son nickschic?

7- hes 17 now and still feels raw about it.

It was 2 years of hell.

this teacher was known for doing it too and was very old school and shouty.

I didnt find out from him initially another little boy told me and when I asked him about it he broke down.

This teacher is definately a shouter but seemed to really like ds, he is in a small school so is likely to have the same teacher for at least the next two years (he had her last year as well) There didnt seem to be a problem last year but he was in primary 1 and his sister was in the class with him.

It actually worries me more that he hasnt said anything, my dds were much more open about what went on at school, boys just clam up so much more.

It was quite honestly a really traumatic time.

The gp told me he was on the edge of a breakdown.

Boys don't tell you anything.

Another alternative is to offer to help out, and observe what is going on.

bloody hell thats terrible, how a little boy can be put through the mill so much. I do think that some teachers are better at dealing with girls than boys, ds was lucky at nursery and had fantastic teachers who knew how to deal with a group of boisterous boys, I am not going to let him be a scape goat here, he doesnt get bawled out at home, he really doesnt need it.

I do help out already but usually the school only allows it on trips and not on day to day teaching.

she never shouts at him when she knows I am there but I have heard her when she doesnt know.

"Calm down. Your son hasn't complained, so I wouldn't be too worried."

When I was 6 the teacher took an apparent dislike to me. I of course didn't pick up anything at the time, but what I do remember happening was that the teacher would not teach me, but instead would sit me down with some books and leave me to it. Apparently my parents first started getting concerns when other children would come home grumbling about how they'd had to learn numbers etc whilst I'd been able to just read. They went in and complained when the teacher smacked me in front of the class for queue jumping (another thing I remember, including the fact that I hadn't realised I was queue jumping).
Anyway, I had said nothing myself about the lack of teaching and just reading books and about being smacked, my parents found these things out via other parents who had been told by their children.
So please don't assume a non complaining 6 year old means everything is ok.

Just say you have been told he is being shouted at, [you dont have to say by whom]

Say you are concerned about this, as your DD1 found this teacher intimidating, you dont want this to also happen to DS. You also know that another child in your DSs class is very anxious about this teacher.

Ask her to find out why the teacher is shouting at your son.

Good Luck

I only found out about my son being bullied by another child telling her mum. When I questioned him it all came out. Just becasue he doesn't say something doesn't mean it isn't affecting him. Take it softly at first as you don't know the whole facts but be aware of changes in his behaviour etc.

I found out DD2 was being bullied by a TA after the school phoned me.She had not closed her eyes during prayer and he screamed in her face,brought her to tears and scared the rest of the class(3rd time he had shouted in her face) also was smashing his hand down on table in front of her repeatedly while shouting.He got caught by the main teacher and was officially warned.
DD2 only told me about the other times after i asked her though.
I hope its all being sorted out now though, shouty teachers are scary.

Clueless definitely go and speak to somebody about this. Dd ended up self harming at 6 because of a teacher doing similar to a boy in her class and being generally intimidating. She was signed off school for three months by the paed through stress. It has taken a year to get over it although she still shakes when she hears raised voices in her new school.
You aren't in Derbyshire are you? Just how you describe the school is how I would have described dd's

Approach the teacher directly and look her in the eye. Tell her exactly what you've heard. See how she responds and if you're not happy take it further. I expect it would soon stop after that. The head, if you approached him/her first, would probably deny it or seek to minimise it, but then try to have a word with the teacher. I'd rather know the truth and the best way is to just to take the teacher by surprise and judge their un-prepared for reaction. On second thoughts approach the head - it's enough for them to know you're aware of it. Certainly don't ignore it , for your child's sake!!

Just spoken to the head, I went in after school and was told that they were just on the verge of calling me re ds behaviour (funny how my phone call always prompts a near miss phone call) She said that since the start of school he has been very difficult and rude, he can be rude when he doesnt repect someone, he is very like his dad, but she could assure me he hadnt been shouted at. I said she couldnt assure me because if another child perceived him to be shouted at then so could he.

I told her I find no need to shout at him at home and that may sound precious but its true and also why he behaves at home. She went on to say his behaviour over the last couple of days had improved immeasurably and that was why she hadnt called. I said I wished she had told me and that whenever I have had problems in the past with any of my kids in any of the schools they have been in that I have always been told "we were just about to call you"

I told her he had always had problems settling in each year at nursery, whenever a new intake had come in and if she had spoken to me I could have reassured her, and I really got her back up by saying I didnt not want him labelled as the naughty boy either by staff or pupils.

We are not in Yorks we are in scotland so we have been back 3 weeks now, long enough for them to contact me and in a very small school with close relations so I am cross that I havent been spoken to and I will be keeping a close eye, I am not going to quiz ds but speak to his sister when he is in bed to get a clearer picture.

sorry asdx2 not yorks or derbyshire, its awful that so many kids are terrified of their teachers, ds had a fantastic relationship with his nursery teachers