Tuition at 4....to get into private primary school?

[WreckOfTheHesperus]

We are considering sending DD to a private primary school; they are all massively competitive / over-subscribed near us, and I read something in a magazine article recently about kids being tutored for the assessment days that they hold age 4.

Can't imagine such a young child being tutored (bit of a scary thought), but wanted to find out if anyone else's DC had done it, and whether it had helped them to get a place?

In my limited experience of v academic private primaries (by which I mean private feeder primaries for v academic private secondaries)in North London, all they are really looking for is that your child doesn't have severe behavioural/ learning issues that would make teaching them especially challenging (ie not get their desired results). This was done in a very low key way, getting them to do certain tasks on their own and in a group of other same-age children. There was no need to prep them at all. I think their techniques, once they are in the school, mean they get results, not that that kid has been particularly advanced by tuition before they even begin.

FWIW, we decided to go to the outstanding but state local primary (a) to save our money (b) to give our DS a broader social range of kids (c) all their friends are very local, making playdates easy and the walk to school fun, bumping into friends. You do have to keep an eye on the teachers more because the class sizes are bigger and it's impossible for them to focus on every child adequately. I "back up" the education (ensuring I'm always reading with them etc) but that's part of me giving them the message that I value education and them.

If I had the money to send my DS to a private school then I would. Although it depends on a school in the area. Some private schools do not guarantee an excellent education.
As for tutorials at this age I think it is fine as long as your child enjoys it, not overloaded and is not missing out on playing. It is much harder if your child spends long hours in the nursery then in addition to this has tutorials. We, the parents, also tutor our kids by teaching them letters, numbers, games etc, do not we? Not every parent has time for it though. So it is either a parent, a tutor or a nanny.

I took dd1 to an assessment at a selective school, purely out of nosiness as I already knew it was not for us

She behaved atrociously, freaking out when I left her so I had to sit in, refused to pick the yellow bricks out of the box because she was in a pink phase and "only liked pink." She kept looking at the biscuits in the corner for snack time and asking when she could have one.

She still was offered a place which has made me very about how much these events are purely for show, so the parents can boast about their 4yo "getting in" to such and such an establishment.

Ridiculous! No wonder the UK has one of the highest rates of childhood depression in the world! Children are being put under immense pressure to achieve. It really irks me.

Wreck
It's easy to say not to worry because I'm sure you want the best for your DD.

I would seriously go by gut instinct. We are very happy with my DD's school. It is academic but as they are all able girls it's easier for the teachers to go at a faster pace. There was one girl who was a fluent reader before Reception but she was the exception. My dd caught up easily and is now an excellent reader. More importantly she loves the subjects she learns about and doesn't even realise that she is learning, if that makes sense. I am happy with the small class sizes as I feel that she would have been lost in a class with 30 children.

If I could wave a magic wand I would say that all children should have smaller class sizes but unfortunately that isn't going to happen and as we can afford to send her to private school that is what we have chosen.

My ds is starting Reception tomorrow and will be going to another school as her's is single sex. To be honest if he would have been a girl I don't think I would have chosen her school for him as he's not as acadmic as her and is much more laid back. His school suits him as they do sport everyday and are able to teach the boys in a way that suits them. His school did not require an assessment so there will be much more of a 'mixed bag' of abilities. Again, something we are happy with.

I would never say that private schools are always better than state schools. There are a few private schools here which have terrible reputations so I would definitely choose a state one over those.

If you have the money and you think that she would suit the private schools you are looking at then go for it. Don't worry about tutoring her, if she is the 'right girl' for the school then they will see that. If that isn't the case then your dd would be much happier at a different school.
Good luck!

I doubt the UK has one of the highest rates of childhood depression in the world as there are so many kids in the world who do not have access to the education, play groups, playgounds, hospitals; lack food and clothes. One thing when you have a bit of everything but another thing is when you do not have anything. This would make a child physically ill and depressed. I think the UK is doing fine in comparison to many other countries in the world.

Ditto what Pag said. My DD at private school, yr1 now, and when I asked headmistress whether we could prepare in any way or do anything to help her with assessment she looked at me as if I was mad. They are either going to flourish in the environment the school provides or not and the teachers who take assessments know what they are doing.

I think all we can do as parents in this situation is ensure our kids are happy, confident and responsive.

MrsShackleton
The school could obviously see your dd's potential.

I know that at my dd's school there were 386 girls who were assessed and only 35 places were offered so it's not always for show.

As I said before I certainly didn't coach her at all and she didn't know the 'importance' of what was going on. If it wasn't meant to be then it wasn't meant to be.

Same roughly 1 in 10 statistics for two out of the three schools we tried for. The third was around 1 in 5. The assessment tests are not a slam dunk but they're impossible to prepare for so don't bother and don't worry - no point.

Similar situation here, follygirl and Quattrocento;I keep being quoted a "10 applicants for every place" ratio round here, and it makes me nervous.

Thanks wingandaprayer, that's encouraging. I don't really know how you tell whether your DC is bright or not at this age, but just don't want to let DD down by not giving her the same chance as the other kids to get into somewhere good. It's good to know that getting all hot and sweaty about this is to no avail...

I think 18 out of 200 got a place for us.

It is nerve-wracking. In hindsight, it is easier to see that nothing one does can prepare the child. As it is not even probably decided by which child can count higher than others etc

Good luck...!

I haven't taught her much though I read with her and have since she was about 3 months old. otherwise its down to the school in the main really