Boys fighting on the first day of school...STRESSED !

[bubled]

Hi
We are new to this country and my elder son started school last thursday in Year2 .
He was super excited and ready to join his new school on the first day. But turns out he had a run in with some kid ( from what he says ,younger class) in the lunch hour.
again on day 2 ,the teacher complained that he had an incident in the lunch time. This time it was someone from a year older group and also with someone his class.
I've tried to exract from him about what happened...he says he was pushed around and was responding in self defence...but teacher kept repeating she had a 'witness' who says he was kicking around too.Problem is,he is still learning to speak english and can't understand it much either in local accent (although tries real hard to speak and learn it)
Have made it clear to DS that he should not fight around, but I am afraid I've over stressed him and he is kind of reluctant to go to school .Don't really know how to handle the situation without making a scared whimp out of my boy :(

I would go an speak to the school again. What help are they giving your son with the language?

Any form of hitting or kicking is unacceptible (and you need to tell your son this, regardless of what other's may do to him). He will however be getting very stressed especially as he cannot communicate very well. It is also possibl;e that other kids are now trying to provoke him.

Has he been assigned a pupil to mentor him, from his own class. If not ask if one can be found. Does his school go all the way to year 6 (age 11)? If so ask if one or more of the older children can be asked to keep an eye on him at break and lunchtimes.

I hope this helps.

You must tell him that he should never hit, kick or abuse other pupils and if he has any problems he should go straight to the teacher or teaching assistancr - never retaliate.

How was his behaviour in his last school and is the culture of school very different from what he is used to?

I think there are probably two things here. One is that he is probably being picked on due to being different in that his English is not good at the moment. So he is defeinding himself. But the other thing is that he may be feeling out of his depth due to his language issues, and is compensating by using his strength etc. to re-establish control. I think it will probably be difficult until his language improves and he makes a good set of friends.

Thanks for the kind inputs...Well! as for the behaviour at earlier school..he is a bright kid,intelligent but a bit naughty (Or lets say not the docile types!) .The school he is going to at present is a state school with not very good ofstead report( although the last review says things are improving) . I had no choice as we just moved here mid year and this was the only place available. He has been to proper Private school earlier...in India.
Do you think apart from his language skills,the fact that there are very few coloured kids at this school might be a factor?
Can I get his school changed now,may be mid year or in next session. When should I start the process for this change request and how.
Thanks all ,for the support !!

hi bubled, i wanted to add a different pov - i've been in your son's position, i was moved to a school where i didn't speak the language in yr 2.

it is incredibly strange and frustrating. there were a couple of incidents in the beginning (like the ones you describe), and it was about having no other defences left really. after the incidents i got a bit paranoid and thought everyone was making fun of me, because i had no idea what they were saying.

i think 2 things solved it in the end, 1) learning the language (this probably took about 4-6 months, no special tuition), and 2) my mum invited some of the class over to play, and when we played together (with lots of gesturing and pointing!) they saw that i wasn't so different and scary.

pls though, while obviously your DS needs to know the fighting isn't acceptable, give him lots of reassurance as he will be feeling so lost, helpless and unable to control anything.