How much homework and afterschool activities do your primary school kids do?

[NannyR]

I work as a nanny, looking after three children aged 7 (year 3), 6 (year 1) and 4 (reception).
This morning Mum presented me with the timetable for afterschool activities she has planned for the coming term.
The 7 year old has fencing, swimming, football and gymnastics plus a total of 5 hours homework (with two private tutor sessions included in this)and half an hour of supervised reading each night.
The 6 year old has judo, swimming, football and gymnastics, plus half an hour homework and reading per night.
The 4 year old has swimming and football plus reading practice.
Nowhere in this schedule is there any time for going to the park, playing, having friends for tea or just flopping in front of the TV.
They go to a private London school and the recommended homework for year 3 is three pieces of work a week each to take 20-30 mins, so a max of 1 1/2 hours per week. Mum is convinced that everyone else is doing extra homework and private tutoring and that her kids will be fall behind if they just do the recommended homework, but from the nannies and mums I've spoken to this isn't the case.
I think this whole schedule is completely insane and is going to result in three exhausted and burnt out kids. Because the parents work full time, I'm the one who has to implement this and I just don't want anything to do with it - it goes against everything I think primary school kids should be doing.
I suppose the point of this post is, am I right in thinking that kids need time to chill out after school or is it becoming more normal for kids to have loads of planned activities and extra homework?

I agree - completely insane.
I guess though that you are going to have to implement it and then 'prove' that it isn't working unless you fundamentally disagree with the parents approach when you may have to look elsewhere for employment.

I think that if you disagree with your employer's wishes, then you need to find another job asap. Didn't this come up in interview at all?

I'd say that the mother's approach is at towards one end of the parenting spectrum. But the real issue is that it is an approach that you are obviously uncomfortable with, and that will almost certainly cause tension.

Please do this family a favour and look elsewhere.

I'm sorry, but you are the nanny, not the parent. If you feel so strongly that this 'goes against everything' you believe in, then you should find a job with parents who share your approach. Tbh I'm surprised you took the job, either you or they can't have been particularly open or frank at the interview!

I do agree with Ladymuck that you need to consider whether you fit in with the family ethos.

Mum won't be impressed if the tutoring is skimped and the reading neglected.

The regime seems to me to to be a bit crowded, but the level of homework and supervised reading seems spot on, the swimming lessons a must, and the tutoring probably is necessary given the competition for school places

I've been in this job 3 1/2 years - when I started I was looking after three pre-schoolers but as kids grow up the job description changes. The amount of afterschool stuff has slowly crept up over the last year or so.
I'm in the process of looking for another job as I realise that I prefer looking after younger kids, but wanted to stay until the youngest was settled into full time school.
The chat this morning and the typed up schedule with the huge amount of homework, just shocked me and confirmed that I do need to get out of there.

Gosh its way more than my Y1 could cope with
Poor kids...

Personally, I agree with you 100%. In Y1, dd probably did half an hour of reading each night, but less homework - maybe 15 minutes 4x week. And I think friends over, hanging out with adults and/or siblings in the family, and playing/using imagination are hugely important at this age.

That said, of course the employer is the parent and has to make the decisions he/she feels are best - goes without saying.

It must be hard seeing changes happening that you feel are not in the best interest of your charges, and realizing you need to move on - sounds sad. Wish you much good luck looking for a new job, and I'm sure there are plenty of families out there who would be delighted to have your approach as part of their family life (I would!).

:( Poor kids. I bet they're under intense pressure to be brilliant.

If I needed a nanny right now, I'd hire you on the spot :)

Despite what others say, I think you are 'not just the hired help' and should talk to the parents regarding your concerns. Obviously in the end it's their decision (and your decision whether to stay or not) - but if they trust you to look after your children, surely they would want to hear your opinions (phrased very delicately).

I have had a nanny for years. And would always expect her to tell me if there was any kind of a problem....

Well, it sounds busy, but it would very much depend on the child as to whether or not they could cope with it.

dd (7) is a 'joiner' - she loves doing activities - currently has ballet, swimming and gymnastics after school, with riding, swimming and cycling at weekends - she's also teaching herself piano and recorder and will have more homework going into y3. The point is, she's chosen to do all these herself and I've had to put limits on things (she wants to do tennis and I've said no)

she's very active, likes being busy, and sadly all her close friends have moved out of London in the last few months so enjoys seeing her 'ballet friends' etc

however, if I'd tried to get v laid-back ds2 to do the same kind of schedule I'd have been on a hiding to nothing - he would have hated it and I'd have had a thoroughly miserable child on my hands ...

the homework sounds a bit ott, so would definitely need keeping an eye on exhaustion levels etc

This sounds fine to me - all the afterschool activities are sports, and, given that these are, I presume, boys we are talking about (since you mention football), you should be jolly grateful that the mother has organised and paid for sports rather than expecting you to run around after three energetic boys.

:( yikes. I want my kids to have opportunities for sport, clubs etc, and I want them to work hard at school, but that sounds OTT even to me!

I think I was in danger of sending my kids to all these things (if we could ever afford it, ha ha) but actually reading MN - especially threads on the education boards - has really mellowed me out.

You know these 3 children - how much stamina do they have and how much sleep do they need? My DS is 4 and would easily cope with what the mum has lined up for the 4yo. And then he would stay up late . Not sure about the older kids as mine have not got that far yet!

Its true it does depend on individual kids - gender, energy levels, preferences. Its also true that doing all of that with all of them will be demanding quite a lot of your energy levels, something else to consider

Elibean - you are completely right when you say that taking three children to all these activities will be demanding of the nanny.

Maybe it's time for the OP to move on to another family with much smaller children that she can chill out at home with.

Lots of presumptions from me here -
But is school finishing 3.30ish with one sport activity per child (7yo) a night, plus homework?

What time do they finish? If all done by 6pm then don't see it as an issue.

My 5 year old, is at school until 5.30 (doing all those activities but saves me the running around time), 4 days a week, other day he finishes at 3.30, but then goes off to gymnastics, all 5 days he is home at 6pm. After dinner so about 7.30ish we do reading, then he's off to bed, never asleep before 9pm (unfortunately although in his room reading, playing quietly from 8pm), and is up in the morning at 7am to leave for school at 8am.

I work 4 days a week full days.

Weekends are playdates, park, tv (currently whilst I'm mn he's playing on the wii!)

It sounds like the children's entire days are mapped out for them, from waking until sleeping - either that or they aren't getting enough sleep! They might genuinely enjoy the sporting activities, though, and therefore view this as leisure time. The homework regime sounds a bit extreme - I thought people paid for their children's education in order for the school to do all the work, not so that they could then additionally pay someone else to tutor their child?! Is the eldest boy struggling academically?.... Either that, or his parents have very little faith in his abilities and self-discipline. Their children must be very compliant to do all this. Do their parents get to spend much time with them? And do they always have to be "doing" things with them, or do they just play with them and enjoy their company?

I certainly do know some people who always have to be "doing" something. I find them quite exhausting to be around - but they certainly get a lot done!!! Some of them are also unpleasantly competitive, but others just a bit hyperactive and I admire their energy...

I know I personally wouldn't want my life to be so highly organised by someone else on my behalf and would probably rebel against it at some point if this sort of regime continued for years.

My personal opinion is that it's insane, but if you can't square this with yourself, you should look for another job.

i suppose it depends on how formal or structured the four sports lessons are.

it's perfectly fine IMO to do an hour of sport or activity most days, and if they don't live somewhere they can 'go out and play' then that has to be through clubs... but it depends i would say on these club sessions being 'fun' rather than intense coaching requiring a lot of focus and concentration.

That's private education for you! They don't do chilling out. Not only vast amounts of homework but the pressure to keep up with everyone else (hence tutoring). Five hours homework a week in Y3! Poor kids. My two eldest (Y4 and Y5) probably do about that per term. I'm the polar opposite of a hot-housing mum, I'm afraid.

Mine do a few after-school activities, but I limit them. Apart from anything, while one is at football, or drama, or whatever, the other two are being dragged around in the car all afternoon.

But, as the nanny, as other posters have said, you need to carry out the wishes of the parents. Just try to squeeze a bit of R&R into the spare minutes!

Would no one else expect their nanny to talk to them about their concerns?

I'd talk to my boss if I had concerns about what I was asked to do - why is a nanny any different? Or would none of you speak to your boss (if you have one)?

I would have thought after 3 and a half years that the parents ought to be willing to listen to the concerns of the nanny, but that depends on the parents. I personally wouldn't ever want someone else looking after my children, and if I ended up in a situation where this had to be the case, would have a very hard time dealing with someone else seeing more of my children than I did and therefore might have a hard time listening to their views on my parenting mistakes.

I think it is a very sensitive issue - you are basically questioning how a parent is choosing to bring up their children.

But if concerns started to develop that the children weren't coping or were unhappy, then that would be different. IMHO.

Poorly put, of course, as they are in school for part of the day, and other people do occasionally look after my children, but I hope everyone knows what I meant!

Yes, much better expressed by TheNextMrsDepp...