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Help with school choice

5 replies

brassband · 27/08/2010 00:18

I have 3 DDs 1 at secondary, one in Y4 and the other just finished reception.We live in a small village and both DD2 &3 used to go to the village school as did DD1 before them
After years of DD2 being bullied by the only 5 girls in her year things came to a head and we withdrew her.After looking at other schools in surrounding villages DD2 decided which she would like to go to .By this stage DD2 wouldn't speak to anyone outside the family.But after a short time at teh new school She became a much happier confident little girl and academically blossomed (after beiing told she was a bit behind at the old school, got all L4s at her new school which I believe is slightly in front of expectations.
The problem is what to do with DD3 who is still at the old school.She is happy there and has friends.Last year she was in a mixed Y1/R class of 19 children.She enjoyed school but made very little academic progress at all.Every week I went into her class as a volunteer to help out (I used to be a TA)I was quite frankly very shocked by the lack of discipline in the room.I also thought, despite being in a very affluent area, that the Y1 children were well behind the Y1s in other schools I have worked in.There are also several very disruptive children in the class and many very pushy/rude children (and parents).
Next year the class will have 3 yr groups in it R/Y1/Y2 (its a small school) totalling 27 children.I think it will be a 3 ring circus as the teacher really can't cope with what she's got at the moment!

i saw some very disturbing things such as at playtime when all the other classes were out swimming, the school gates left open and the TA and teache,r the only 2 members of staff in the school who hadn't gone swimming, stood at the far side of teh field chatting with their back to the open gate and a 'naughty' reception boy hanging about near it.Another time I saw one of the reception boys escape from the school before registration and took him back in.A few days later another parent had found him wandering about near the school having escaped again-twice in a week!
DD3 took a gymnastics badge she was very proud of getting to show and tell,the only thing she had taken in all year, and wasn't picked to show it, but other pushy children who show every week (and have parents who are governors).Another time DD3 had found a 4 leaf clover and waited patiently to show the teacher whilst other children and parents literally shoved her out of teh way to talk to teh teacher, and then the teacher walked off.Not big things I know but DD is so quiet and so seldom takes things in that I thought the teacher would want to encourage her a bit more.Also the other parents bug me they are still standing in the classroom chatting loudly while the teacher is calling the register!!

The 'new school' is OFSTED outstanding, but because of its quite remote location has only 50 pupils.DD3 would go into a mixed R/Y1/y2 class but with only 16 children (but 3 girls and 13 boys).The head teacher runs a very tight ship and the class teachers all seem good and have been there for eons.It is very high achieving academically and despite being very small does well in sports competitions.The disciline seems very good

The downside is

  1. that she would go into a class with only 3 girls 2)As a family we might become alienated from the village children 30 we can walk to teh current school but 5 mile drive to the new one.

But on the other hand it would be easier to have both DDS at the same primary.
WWYD

OP posts:
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roadkillbunny · 27/08/2010 01:04

It is a hard one, I think I would be tempted to have them both at the same primary so move your dd3, I can understand your reservations, your dd2 had trouble being one of only a few girls in her class, you would be potentially putting your dd3 in the same position, girls can be truly horrible to each other and with so few in the class there is no space for shifting friendship groups.
It seems that you are unhappy with your village school and I could see you building up more and more anxiety around that, you have to think what is in the best interests of all your children, I live in a village myself and there are other ways then just the school to be involved in village life so I wouldn't worry to much about that.
I wouldn't like to have to make the decision you are facing, the pros and the cons carry similar weight but for me, I think I would risk the move as I can't imagine being so unhappy with my dc school and worried about safety and a quiet child who is not encouraged to blossom and start having the confidence to speak to the whole class or the teacher. My dd has speech problems and her school, a small village school (but not as small as yours) has helped her gain confidence in herself, talking to ever larger groups, the school have supported us all the way through what has been a quite difficult first year of school for my dd. I would hate not to have that confidence in the school, to me it matters more then academic results and your current village school seems to be falling down on both counts.
Good luck what ever you decide, just one question though, does the other school actually have a place for your dd3?

mummytime · 27/08/2010 05:54

Your local village school sounds awful.

How did DD1 do?

Which senior school does the new school feed into?

I would move DD3, as the other school sounds wonderful. (It isn't under threat of closure is it?)

brassband · 27/08/2010 12:30

Roadkill-Yes the the other school is desperate for more children.It is quite remote so very few out of catchment children.

Mummytime They both feed into the catchment for the same secondary schools which are a grammar/secondary modern.

thankyou both for wading though that long OP-i got a bit carried away!!

OP posts:
letsblowthistacostand · 27/08/2010 12:46

The village school sounds dire. I would move her to the school you're happy with.

roadkillbunny · 27/08/2010 15:11

Really I think you should move her then, all your reasons for keeping her at your village school can be easily counter argued (get involved in other village organisations like rainbows/brownies/youth club/ parish council etc and you are going to be driving to the other school anyway for dd2 so the walk to school argument becomes void right away) apart from the number of girls in the class and you could even argue that with a school you say is run as a tight ship any issues with this that arise can be dealt with quickly and discreetly, like setting up a buddy system with each of the girls in the class with an older girl from KS2 who is suited the the personality of each girl, that way each girl has another they can turn to for advice, support and backup should any unkindness happen... so do it, it seems you will all be happier for it! Good luck!

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