Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Has anyone's child been really anxious about starting school but then enjoyed it?

4 replies

idril · 11/08/2010 20:18

I'm really worried about my son. He is really anxious about starting school in September.

Has anyone had a child who was really anxious but then settled well?

He is having tummy aches which I think are linked to his anxiety.

He's not a particularly anxious child generally and really enjoyed pre-school (not school nursery).

What can I do to help him? We've read books and he asks me questions about it every night (instigated by him) and I do my best to reassure him. I told him that I would put mummy kisses in his pocket which I read on another thread yesterday and that seemed to help a bit (or at least distracted and amused him). Any other tips?

Thanks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
helencw77 · 11/08/2010 21:06

Hi, I'm not sure if I can give you any tips but I can empathise with how you are feeling. My ds was very reluctant to go to school, I still remember his school visit, he spent an hour sobbing under one of the chairs ! All through the summer holidays he was adamant that he didn't want to go, he was very nervous. I bought his school uniform and he took the M&S bag and threw it in the garden hedge (very unlike him !)

He has always been quite reserved, and emotionally quite sensitive, although not overly so. He prefers watching and assessing, rather than jumping in at the deep end. He absolutely loved his nursery, he had been there for over four years and was really comfortable. I think school for him was the big unknown, and certainly taking him out of his comfort zone.

Needless to say, he took to school like a duck to water, right from the word go. He adores school, he cries at the end of term and although he's been happy in the holidays, he's itching to go back into Year 1 in September. He's got lots of little friends and has really come on with his confidence, he was really ready for the academic side of things and his teacher was amazing. He got a lovely report and Reception has been a very positive experience.

This September, my daughter goes and she is also very unwilling (has again loved nursery). She has a very different personality, but I am much less worried.

Perhaps one tip is to stop mentioning school. I know I kept talking about it to "prepare" ds, but in fact it made him even more nervous. In the end I just waited until a few days before and then brought the subject up. His teacher did a home visit just before term started and this was really useful as he liked seeing her in his own environment. To be honest the best cure for his nervousness was just to get stuck in, and realise that school was not the big, horrible, institution his imagination had conjured up.

Good luck !

idril · 11/08/2010 21:23

Thanks so much for your reply.

It is particularly reassuring because my son sounds quite like yours. He was the life and soul of his pre-school and really confident there. I'm sure it is just the big unknown and having to cope with change (which he has never been very good with).

I agree with the not talking about it too. It's an approach I have used in the past with him with regard to hospital visits and I try and avoid talking about it at all costs but every night (before bed I hasten to add so probably a stalling tactic too Hmm) he starts asking me questions about it. Will definitely try to distract him more when he starts asking questions though.

Thanks again though - definitely very pleased to hear that being anxious about it doesn't necessarily mean he will hate it!

OP posts:
sarahfreck · 13/08/2010 18:39

Try explaining to him that "lots of children feel worried about starting "big school" but actually when they get there they soon find they like it a lot." I'd keep just giving him this simple message over and over whenever he asks. Just do the "broken record" approach with this message if you feel it's better not to open up the subject too often. Sometimes they just need to hear the same thing repeated for reassurance. Other than that just keep giving him loads of general support (eg hugs and kisses etc) which I'm sure you do anyway.

He will be fine!

JoanneEmily · 14/08/2010 11:38

Hi There,

Our daughter was like this, in fact she is often nervous of new things and then ends up loving them!

She was very nervous about school but has thrived on it, loving the routine, the regularity and the teachers. She's made loads of friends, gets lots on invites for play dates and is a happy little girl.

I think you will find that your son, once he is there, will be kept so busy that he won't have time to worry and he will reach the end of the first day and realise he's had great fun.

We always tell our daughter to stay busy and if she's feeling worried, find something to do or someone to chat too. Also, she likes us to promise to be there to pick up 10 mins early!

I am sure he will be fine and the teachers are so used to dealing with nervous pupils that he will settle really quickly.

You'll all be fine! Smile

New posts on this thread. Refresh page