New parents. How not to make enemies?

[Octavia09]

Any useful tips on how to be in a good relationship with other parents and the teachers? What not to say to other parents? How to react to teachers' criticism?

My son is starting foundation year this September and I just worry so much about everything.

I see what you mean. It probably is sensible.

I'd love to know what happened with your preschool friend. I'm intrigued now!

Remeber that all the other parents aren't a gifferent species - they are just other people, some you will like and some you won't. Just like a new workplace.

Oh and whatever you do, don't automatically believe anything your child tells you about what happened at school. If it sounds impossible it probably is. I remember hearing about a Reception teacher who used to say to parents "If you promise to only believe half of what he says goes on at school, I promise to only believe half of what he says goes on at home!"

remember if your DS stays at the school, you need to see these people every day for 6 years, so IME it pays to treat them as colleagues. be polite, kind, but don't get too close.

be polite and interested with the teacher when they want to talk.

I am sure you will both be fine. :)

Being polite and decent behaviour.
As some people say I need to treat other parents like my work colleagues.
I remember at my previous job the colleagues always used to gossip about our female boss (who was such a b...h). I thought if I do not join the gossip I would be treated better (but also because I did not like when they talked bad bhind her back and then would lick her a*s when talking to her). No. She was still a horrible person to me and to many others. Being decent did not help me.

So what happens when you invite other children plus parents to your child's birthday? What if they do no like your house and the hospitality no matter how hard you tried. Would you better skip on a birthday party? Is it actually ok not to invite other kids but celebrate it within the family or would it be rude? Or should I just look at what the other parents do, for example, if everyone starts organising birthday parties then we should do as well not to look outsiders.

Some parents choose to send a cake into school with a party bag and have a family party as a compromise.

In DS1's class, children with birthdays around the same time generally joined up for the parties. Seemed to take the pressure off. Most people used a venue (not necessarily expensive - we hired the school playground for £25).

Honestly though, I wouldn't worry too much about a birthday party. At DS1's, most parents dropped and ran and seemed too grateful for a couple of hours free childcare to worry about the hospitality.

Unless your DS's birthday is soon after start of term then you will get the chance to see what is the norm in your class.

Don't worry about it though, have confidence in your choices. If your DS wants a party with a few close friends then that is what you do.

Try not to overthink. Why would people not like your house or your hospitality? And if they make it plain that they don;t they are obvously not worth bothering about.

But most people are nice.