Advice needed on dilemma please

[MrsKittens]

Basically - DD is at a private girls school - has been there 2 years, we have scrimped and scraped to afford it and are now seriously broke AND we don't think the education has been great either.

I've enquired about a place for her at our local primary school which is small and villagey and has a great reputation, but she doesn't want to go. Our thinking is that the short term pain will be worth it as she'll make friends who will go with her to to the local secondary school.

Everything makes perfect sense except I'm now feeling guilty taking her away from friends - although to be honest most of them have only been friends for a year to 18 months anyway.....

Should I brace myself and do it??

Just move her, you can't afford the private school and she does not have a choice. She will make new friends and she will make friends who will be around for ages, and will be local to her as she gets older, which can be very important after aged 10.

how old is she?

she's 9 - going into Y5 in September.

I know it's the sensible thing to do - why pay when you actually can't afford it etc - and the friends can still be out-of-school friends.....

Just seems harsh but I know it's the only logical thing to do

Just hoping they have a place for her now! then to persuade her and DH who doesn't want it to be "about money" - although at gthe end of the day it has to be - and the quality of what we are paying for!

if she was getting an excellent education where she is then your DH's argument could stand.
but if she isn't then it seems silly to be spending money you don't have.

it's going to be hard on her tho.

I know and I feel so guilty about that - but she is quite resilient and likes a change!

She is very happy to go for Y6 but says she wants to do Y5 at current school - no reasoning I don't think - maybe change suggestion is just too sudden.

As we haven't given notice we will be paying until Xmas anyway - so if they have a place and no-one else claims it in the meantime I could defer till January term which she might find better,

I am a bit "bull in a china shop" - once I have decided I want to do it now - I think she needs more time!

Sorry but you can't afford to send her so I don't think there is anything to decide. You are the adult

I agree - but as she is nearly 10 - I think she should at least have her opinion listened to - even if we can't do what she wants.

We hadn't even considered this a month back - we just thought we ought to carry on doing our best - so it is a bit of a shock to her really - if she doesn't go back at all - there was no leaving card, no good-byes - no nothing! I'd be in shock myself!

yeah it would be hard to just not go back in september wouldn't it?

if you have contact details for her friends there maybe you could persuade her to change for september, but have a kind of leaving party with them at your house?

Sorry she's TEN and you can no longer afford to continue to scrimp and scrap together the fees so her opinion is irrelevant.

I had to move my children due to relocation and the middle DD moved at the start of year 5.It was a teary goodbye to the old school but she made friends sooo quickly.Just explain that it is a situation out of your control and you have to move her.Tell her she will be a stronger person for it.I felt guilty and I cried when I took them to school for their first days.However I didn't show it to them - I cried at home and talked up all the positives of the new school.
You have no choice really but it won't be as painful as you think or she thinks.

Where was she before you sent her to this school if she has only been there two years? could you send her back to her previous school or is this not an option?

Infant school elsewhere in country - we moved. So no going back.