Deferment - for Scottish Mums !

[FourLittleDucks]

January born DD - to defer or not to defer ?

Any experiences/opinions I can draw from MN ?!!
Especially interested to hear from Mums whose kids are now older - to see what the impact is through the years.

FWIW, in lots of ways I think she could go at 4.5 or 5.5 - she's confident/competent socially/academically.

Would love to hear from you !

Gah, ds2 is also a Jan baby and due to start in 2011 (though in all likelihood we'll be in England by then, so it may not be an issue). It's tough. ds1 starts on the 16th - he's November and we considered it for a while, but our main considerations in the end were that we'd have to defer both of them so that they wouldn't end up in the same school year and also that they'd have ended up in the same nursery group for a year, which we weren't keen on (they stick together like glue and I am keen for them to make other friends ). Also, we wouldn't have got any funding for another pre-school year.

Many schools have composite p1/2 classes, so it's very normal to have a wide age range in the classes, so that is not so much of an issue, I don't think, if it's worrying you.

Our neighbour's daughter is 6 in December and deferred for a year - her mum says she's been very bored at pre-school for the past 6 months or so and she's a liiiitle bit sorry she deferred. But I'm sure she'll zoom away once she starts this August.

Friend who's a primary teacher reckons the kids don't really notice who is older and who isn't, but that the younger ones seem much younger to the teachers.

dd has a girl and a boy in her class with February birthdays - there is nearly a year between the oldest and youngest in the class. They seem to do alright. DD is a November birthday but was totally ready for school.

Hi
Depends on whether you feel she is ready, and where you live. Lots of children in our area defer, so DS with a late September birthday was one of the youngest boys in his class. Almost all January and February boys defer, girls less so. My sister is a teacher and did not defer her February daughter which she now feels was a mistake because DN was small and has been physically smaller than all her classmates throughout her school life - which made sports and PE really tough. So important to not just consider whether she is ready in terms of academically but also socially and in terms of size.

Thanks for these ! oh why didn't I have summer babies ha ha.

Any more stories appreciated

HI my ds1 is february born-he made the cut off by 1 day!!

He is just going in to primary3 now. In alot of ways he was ready-he is/was a confident wee boy and can express himself very well. However, although he has progressed well, in alot of ways you can tell that he is the youngest in his class. He is the smallest, and although he is very bright and can understand alot of things, he doesnt have the same concentration span as alot of the kids in his class. It does mean as well that he is prone to being told of for daydreaming in class!

I dont regret not deferring him however. He loves to read and tell you stories, in fact, in P1 he was the first in his class to be able to tell the teacher his alphabet both by name and sound (proud mum emoticon!). Its the wee things, like his concentration (especially if its something that hes not interested in), that we have to watch for. We do alot of extra work with him at home though which is helping.

Im confident I did the right thing though, as i was prepared that he might need extra help at home with school work, Im just lucky that he has a whole subject (reading/writing) that he really enjoys so i only really have half the work i thought i might!!

I have 2 feb children and a Nov one. I'm also a teacher if that makes any difference to you?

I deferred both Feb dc so they started at 5 adn a half and I have never regretted it for a second - they have done fabulously and are both well ahead of where they need to be and enjoy/thrive at school. They are in bilingual education and both are fully bilingual now.

My dd2 is November - also youngest child. I was sure she was ready and sent her at under 5 and its been OK - but she doesn't like school, despite being similar in intelligence to the others at home, has jsut not thrived at school at all. I do tend to put this down to her starting at 4y9m not 5y6m like the others did.

I saw a lot of kids coming into high school at 11.6 or 12.6 when I was teaching there (now work in adult ed) and almost without exception those who did well were the older. If there was a child who persistently forgot homework/folder/books etc, when I checked it out it was always a younger student, often one who could have deferred - and that is after SEVEN years of school!

So personally I am delighted to have deferred and do sometimes wish we had done it for dd2 too.

One thing to consider - thinking further ahead. In Scotland, a 4yo started will be 17 on leaving. That seriously restricts things that they can do on a Gap Year (many organisations/charities etc only take children from age 18) and if not, means they will go to Uni at 17. I was a 4yo starter with a December birthday, and spent my first term at Edinburgh with "MINOR" stamped across my matriculation card which meant I couldn't buy a pint or get into the Union after 8pm - very very embarrasing!

I can hardly think of a situation in which I would not recommend deferrment!!!

I didn't defer my January born son either - he's just about to start P7. i have mixed feelings now. He has done ok academically so far - but I feel he may have done better if he had started later. He is also a bit smaller than the other boys in his year group and I am starting to worry about him starting High school. There are another 2 boys and one girl in the school (VERY small school so I know these things!) who have February birthdays and none of them deferred either. They all seem to be getting on fine too - although again they are all teh smallest in their year groups.

I also think deferrment is becoming more common - there are NO children in dd1's P6 class next year born in Dec/Jan/Feb on the young end - they are all older.

Ds1 has a feb birthday. He started at 4 1/2- He's 10 now- going into P7 this year.

No regrets sending him atall. He's never struggled with any of the work. No real problems socially (a wee bit of bullying because of his size but he's very small for his age and I think this would have happened even if we'd deferred him)

Ds2 missed the cut-off by 6 days. The nursery told us he was ready for school and were happy to recommend early entry for him. We kept him back as he a small medical problem at the time and we didn't want him in school all day until it was resolved.

Looking back this maybe was a bit precious of me- he would have managed. He's doing very well at school- but by the time he started p1 he could already read and write and do basic maths. He's going into p4 this year and is about a level ahead of his peers in most things. Although, again, this could have happened even if we'd started him early- he's a very smart wee cookie.

It's so hard to tell at 4 what's going to be best for them. You know your daughters personality and abilities better than anyone, and if you think she'll cope fine with school I would send her.

I didn't defer my January born son and he did fine but at that time there were a lot more January/February born children at primary school than there seems to be now so wasn't unusual then. (some years ago)

Also didn't defer March 31st born daughter, she was recommended to go early. She did sixth year and then gap year with Project Trust who do take them at 17. She was very ready for school both socially and academically and loved school.

My niece and nephew were both January babies and were deferred and it's been fine for them apart from my niece saying she won't take gap year as she feels that she is old compared to her friends and wants to go to University straightaway.

Thinking back I don't think deferment was offered when my lot went to school. I was also a January baby so it just seemed normal for me them to go to school when they did.

My Jan born DD2 is about to start school In a week or so, her Feb born friend is not, there's about 2 weeks between them.

My reasons for not deferring:

she is a second born therefore a lot more confident and outgoing than maybe a firstborn
she has been up at the school every day, know what goes on etc, been in the classrooms many a time
9 of her friends are starting with her, including her Jan born best friend, in fact there's about 6 Jan or Feb birthdays starting

If it were DD1 with a Jan birthday I would ahve deferred her, my friend who is deferring her little girl I thinkis right to do so, she is shy and not very confident and is a first born as well.

so in summary I think it entirely depends on the child

Aren't you glad though that we have the choice! None of the forcing children just turned 4 into school whether they like it or not that seems to go on elsewhere in the country! And noone starts before they are 4 and a half-ish.

Hoooray for the Scottish Education System, says I!!!

My 3DDs are Oct/Nov/Dec birthdays and were not deferred as they were all socially ready for school, and there was no option to defer for DD1 who is a 31/12 birthday.

With hindsight, DS, our pfb January baby :) , should have been deferred as he was ready academically, but not really in other ways. The only way to have got deferred entry then was to have had him assessed by Ed Psych at 3 1/2 the preceding summer. Again, with hindsight, that would have been a good thing as he was not formally diagnosed with an ASD till P6. He is now going into S5, and could technically go to Uni at 16, though he wants to do Art at the local college instead so we'll see.

It depends on the individual child really, but there is the problem of the age and possible maturity level of the child at the time they sit SQA exams to bear in mind too. As Weegiemum and others have said, at least we have the choice now!

3 of my kids are jan/feb birthdays. I deferred all of them. TBH, it was the best thing that I could have one for them.

They weren't significantly older than the rest of the children, they had had an extra year to mature and were much more ready in all ways, iyswim. I had always made it known to the school that each of them would be deferred and didn't put them into nursery until what would have been their preschool year, so there was never any issue over funding or anything like that.

I HE now, but, I think that the extra year would have stood them in good stead as they went further through the school, particularly at exam time. My almost 18 year old is about to go to college to sit some highers (he would be in sixth year now had he stayed at school) and his attitude and maturity are much better than many of his peers who are that little bit younger.

You can automatically defer any child whose birthday falls on Jan 1st or later without any testing or problems with fees. You can apply to defer any child whose birthday falls in October or later, but then they have to be assessed to see if the LA will fund an extra year at nursery or whatever. When I deferred mine, the HT and class teachers all said that they wished that more parents would do it because they all felt that the younger kids were just too young.

Hi, DS2 is a valentines day baby and I didn't defer he is about to go into p4. Academically he is fine, physically he is also tall larger than many of the next year group up. He is actually a bit of a dreamer but will always be don't think defering would have made any difference. Also he has an older brother which makes a difference as he was very used to mixing with older children.

Have DS3 end of Nov birthday - will be sending him as well though theoretically we could defer.

Should also have said that we took advise from school nursery - they believed that there was no need to defer.

'advice' poor spelling