Hi, I hope you don't mind me changing name for this but I think that the teacher in question may well be a mumsnetter and I am concerned about potential repurcussions.
DD is just about to go up to Y3, one of her friends at school is the daughter of one of the teachers in Y3. In reception, I invited this girl over for tea (knowing that with her mum being a teacher, it was unlikely to be recirocated). She came over and there were no probles. When we dropped her home, her mum said to DD "you'll have to come and play in the holidays" and then, accordingly to my DD said to her several times at school, "I'll give your mum a call and ask when you can come and play with my dd". Over the years nothing happened. Then once in Y1 when DD saw this teacher and they were talking DD said "I'd love to come to your house for tea some time would that be ok", to which the teacher didn't reply but just walked off. (Yes, I know it is rude to invite yourself to tea but bear in mind she had just turned 5 and was responding to repeated assurances from this teacher that she could).
Fast forward a year and dd was playing with this friend who said to her "I wish you could come to tea but every time I ask my mum she says you cant' because you are a rude little girl". Now, my DD is probably one of the kindest, nicest, well mannered girls in her class, I would of course think that, but her teachers always mention it in reports and other mums always say "Oh we love having 'DD' over because she's so friendly and so polite". So I don't think I'm being biased. I think this teacher has just got the wrong idea somewhere down the line. DD is incredibly (over) sensitive and she cried about this for weeks, kept saying "am I a rude girl mummy? don't people like me" and things like that. It took a while to build her confidence up again.
So, this year they move up to the year that this woman teaches, she is moving into the parallel class because she can't teach her daughter obviously, but she will teach my DD for some things such as English and Maths if the groups work out that way. So, what, if anything, do you think I should do about this situation - watch and see if she is overly-negative to my daughter, or express concerns earlier.
I should add that despite her daughter and my dd playing together every day at school and getting on very well, when she had a party recently she did not invite my DD but did, to the surprise of several mothers, invite their DD's who they don't think she has ever played with and they were not expecting their DDs to be invited. Only 2 girls in the class were excluded.
Please don't think I'm naively assuming my daughter is perfect, I know she is over sensitive, I know she can whine, I know she has her problems in some areas, as they all do. But I also know that she is the kindest, most polite girl and would not have earnt the label 'rude'.
I am beyond angry that this woman may teach my DD and I think that if you are going to teach at the school your DCs go to then you should not be telling them your opinion of their school friends. But should I do anything? and if so what? or should I bite my tongue and feign friendliness?