Can I pick your brains please?

[ihearttc]

DS is 5 and is just finishing reception. He's had a relatively good year and seems to enjoy school...we have certainly had no real bother about him going and he goes in happily enough every day. We got his report at the end of last week and its quite good-reading is above expected level for reception and everything else about what it should be (his score was 96 I think from memory) but a huge chunk of the report was basically about his lack of confidence and quietness and his inability to play with other children apart from his own friends...that side of it was all very negative and its really concerning me. He is most definitely not a shy child by any stretch of the imagination. He will talk to strangers in the shops etc (obviously with me there lol!) and older children,friends parents etc but according to school he is this very very quiet child who literally clams up.

I thought school were making too big a deal out of it at first but my friend helped on a school trip a week or so ago and after speaking to her about it she basically said the same thing...its like he freezes and would rather observe than participate.

Its a 2 form entry and the classes have been split up to go into Y1...he is in a group of 4/5 friends and the others are in 1 class and he is in the other. Which in itself is absolutely fine...I totally understand there must have been reasons behind it but DS is getting really really worried about it and have got this awful feeling that its going to make things even worse and I honestly don't know what to do about it. I think the logic was that if he was in the other class on his own he would be forced to make other friends but I just think it could make him clam up even more and become even more withdrawn at school. Incidentally the friends he has made have all been made at school this year...he didn't know them before he started at school and the school are basically saying that he cannot make friends at all which I don't quite understand. I actually thought 1 "best friend" and a group of 4 or so other children that you mainly play with every day was quite good going for a 5 year but maybe Im wrong.
He seems a popular little boy-probably more so with girls than a lot of the boys and has been to more birthday parties this year than I care to remember (how expensive is that lol!)so I honestly don't get what the issue is.
Sorry for the long rambling post and tbh I don't even know what Im asking but just wondered if anything stood out as a real cause for concern?

I am interested to see the answers/responses to your thread as my DD just turned 4 and will be starting reception in september. She currently attends the nursery attached to a private school: where they are properly taught their phonics etc. Got her report as well and all was good. the teachers described her as fun to teach. At the ending comment however they mentioned about her confidence. My DD has never been described as shy before as well. A right little madam when we are out. .

Maybe things will improve in time. I would not be so worried about him being split from his freiends...he will make new ones again.

sorry i couldnt be of much help.

I think if it was me, I'd go and talk to his class teacher. You could tell her your friend was surprised when she saw how he was on the class trip and also ask for reasons why he's been put in the other class. As you say, there must be a reason for it and the school might be able to put your mind at rest.

ihearttc - how many teachers does your DS have did only one do the report.

My DS has 2 part time teachers and a couple of TA's.

do you think his main teacher did the report if so perhaps other staff could of contributed and seen something they didnt.

We always get the chance to go in and see the teacher to discuss the report did you not have this option?

Thanks all for the responses-much appreciated. Yes we can go in and talk to the teacher and thats what Im going to do on friday but am being my usual neurotic self and am worrying that its some indication of something more serious and if I should be worried or not lol!

Ever since the very first parents evening last year the teacher (who is lovely btw and who DS adores) commented that he is slightly different to other children...its almost like he watches/observes and worries about everything even things which he has no need to worry about-but am home he doesn't worry or stress about anything (apart from this new class move which would worry any child I would think). She wanted him to see an Ed Pych but nothing was ever done about it. He then had a supply teacher for a couple of months who we also had a parents evening with and I asked her if she had noticed anything unusual about DS and she said not a thing and was very surprised when I spoke of other teacher concerns...So am sort of wondering if its a teacher issue rather than a DS issue.

He only has one teacher but several TA's but I get the feeling the overall report is totally teacher based.

I sort of know why he's been put with the other class cause I asked in a indirect sort of way when we found out...basically they have got it into his head that he is lacking in confidence and he needs to widen his friendship circle-just not convinced splitting him up from all his friends and almost forcing other friendships on him is the way to go.

Incidentally when you see his nursery report its like looking at a completely different child...happy,confident,always in the thick of everything,loads of friends etc so am very very bemused as to how he can change that much from the child we and nursery saw to this timid friendless child that the school see!