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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Difficult 11 year old

4 replies

LemograssLollipop · 20/05/2026 22:47

I've had as much as I can take with my 11 year old DD. This whole evening has been one long disagreement, long face. I bought a water gun yesterday for her post-SATS party at school which she chose. Its not a cheap foamy thing but a big nerf style. Today it's not good enough and she wants a different one. I've said no I can't take her to the shop after her activity. That upset carried on all evening.

I asked her to put her phone away to wind down for bed. Refused and eventually sort of chucked it at me. She's been crying before bed, I went to check on her, she's hiding so I left her. Then she's back down in the hallway crying. I ask her to come in, she doesn't. This sounds awful but it's like she's crying loudly so I have to go and find her.
Bedtime is now way out the window and my sympathy is nearly gone.
Not a relaxing or lovely bedtime at all for either of us.

So as not to drip feed... She is having friendship issues which we spoke about and which she is open with so I'm giving her leeway. But every night it is such a performance. It feels like she's feeding off the drama sometimes.
I'm handling it on my own as DH goes to bed at 8.30 after he's our son to bed... whole other topic.
Aaaghhhhhhhhhhh

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 20/05/2026 23:17

Year 6 is hard work, especially with friendship problems as there’s so much emphasis on friends and fun in the post SATs period. You just need to hang on for the summer holidays and in the meantime sort out your last husband.

LemograssLollipop · 20/05/2026 23:23

@NerrSnerr Thank you for replying. I feel like I am going out of my mind! I'm so wired and feeling awful I can't go to bed.

OP posts:
comealongdobbeh · 20/05/2026 23:25

hormones.. I have an 11yo DS. I share your pain

Dragonflyspeeding · 20/05/2026 23:29

I had this last night. The sobbing turned to dramatic WAILS for over an hour.
I ignored it. DC's Dad tried the comforting approach and succeeded in causing further tears and a complete meltdown.
This morning when I asked what had caused the dramatics last night, the reply was 'Don't know' followed by 'I was tired'.
You have my sympathy OP.

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