Dd’s behavior has suddenly changed so much. She is a single child and started secondary school in September. She and her best friend who are together since reception go to the same secondary school but in January her bff left the school and moved to a different one as she was not enjoying the school. Dd didn’t want to change as she made lots of new friends at the school but since December she has been becoming a completely different person. She gets angry on every little stuff. Always argues back and new listens to anything. She is always on a rollercoaster of emotions starting from being upset, angry, scared, sad and everything in between.
Her behavior started to change in December. She has lost interest in studying and barely manages to complete her school work which is always last minute. Her grades are still good though mainly A’s but since her doing everything last minute I am sure the grades will start falling soon. She gets extremely angry on everything and starts hitting her head with her hands, starts stomping, screams and shouts at the top of her lungs, bashes her legs against the glass cabinet and doors whenever she is confronted or if anything doesn’t go as per her wishes. Small things like ordering school supplies if she has almost ran out needs to be ordered at that very instant otherwise she starts having a big meltdown.
When she is agitated she starts telling me that I have to make her happy because I am mad at her and its never her fault. And she won’t go to bed or will start hurting herself in I don’t make her happy in the next minute or few seconds. She even says that she will jump out of the window or run away and never come back coz we hate her so much. Whenever we try to calm her down she screams even more and just doesn’t listen. She keeps saying I will hurt myself with knife and that we want her to die and that we have ruined her life.
These episodes almost are happening on a daily basis and its so worrying. She definitely doesn’t take knife and after an hour or 2 once she is calm she regrets all these and says sorry many times and apologizes for ruining my life. But again the same thing happens next day.
Her school isn’t great although outstanding. I am not happy with the behavior of few other kids in the class. Although there’s a no phone policy many kids are on snapchat or YouTube in class. Couple of kids talk back to the teachers, swear and are extremely rude. One day couple of boys got into a fight and kne if them had brought a knife in school. Luckily no ody git hurt as teachers were reported. I am not sure if she is learning these things from school or subconsciously coz her best friend left school she is missing her but at the same time she doesn’t like change so doesn’t want to move schools herself.
She is always scared that because she worries so much and is so rude to me at times that something bad will happen to me or her and that we will die. Then once she goes into being scared mode she is just inconsolable. Few days ago she came across a reel about cancer and was extremely scared that either her or me will get cancer and die. Then she goes that I have to prove to her that nothing will happen to her or to me. I explained calmly but she wasn’t convinced and just wasn’t ready to understand anything. She has been extremely tired and has been missing couple of hours of sleep every day as she watches a lot of tv and then reads a lot at bedtime. Even though she is exhausted she wouldn’t listen and won’t change her routine about going to sleep on time. Going to sleep is a constant battle every single day. She is more tired at her new secondary school compared to primary as its a very big school and she has to walk around a lot with the heavy bag when moving classes. I feel that her tiredness and lack if getting enough sleep plus watching more has been affecting her mood and hence she is getting more agitated. But the most concerning is her behavior and anger management these days.
I am just at a loss of how to deal with these things as everyday she is mad at something or the other and it is really frustrating. Once she is calm and happy she is a completely different person. I seem to be losing her and feel like I can’t recognize her anymore.
Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading. Did anyone else here had such experience with their kids and how did they approach to resolve it. I am planning to contact gp but from what I hear the waiting lists for cahms are about 2-3 years.