As the title says I'm really struggling with my 10 yo DS (yr 5, very early September bday) at the moment. Over the past few months he has really changed, he is so moody, answering back alot and has recently started (occasionally) telling us he hates us (he is usually very apologetic for this soon after and quickly retracts it but it hurts non the less), he's gotten lazy and is constantly complaining and has nothing nice to say to anyone inc his siblings. He no longer wants to go to afterschool childcare and is wanting to be allowed to walk home from school each night - this is doable and we have agreed a trial period from next week until Easter and then we will reassess.
Prior to this he has always been a lovely boy, kind, caring, very snuggly and quite easy going. Don't get me wrong he could have his moments still and him and his siblings still fought and agued etc but it felt "normal"
Recently had parents eve at School and there are no known issues there he is very academically clever and is also very popular, he has a large and long standing friendship group and never any issues there between them all. He is also a very talented sportsman so he really does "have it all".
A big part of me thinks this is just normal behaviour and part of growing up and it will blow over in time but I am worried as he has become quite distant and I miss my boy. I guess I'm just after some advice really on how best to tackle this and make sure he feels secure and loved during this time. I still tuck him in to bed at night and give him a kiss and tell him I love him (as does DH).
I know he's a little pissed with us at the minute as he has had his TV & Xbox removed as well as his phone due to some naughty behaving last week. Before anyone jumps down my throat about the phone, I know he is only 10 but unfortunately all of his friends have them, it is checked every evening and handed in at 8pm every night and doesn't go to School with him atm. He is very sensible and I have never had any concerns with his phone etc it also means I can track him whilst he is playing out (life 360) and also get intouch with him to come home etc.
I've suggested we have some 1-2-1 time together this weekend so I'm hoping he may open up but he can be quiet and a closed book so we will have to see. for context we have very recently found out his grandad (DH dad) has incurable cancer, the kids know but not that it is incurable or the ins and outs just that grandad is poorly and has cancer..... he has never experienced this before but I have made it clear to all of the kids that we are here and any questions they have they can ask us etc.