Advice please!

[MumLifeUnfiltered]

My daughter is 11 and oh my god I'm struggling! She's going through a phase of refusing to eat because she isn't hungry. I've tried so many different approaches and I'm just worried. She doesn't want breakfast, she eats some of her lunch, has a snack after school then point blank refuses dinner. I've tried everything I can think of but is this just hormones? She started puberty in terms of budding a couple of years ago and now has a fully formed chest. She hasn't started her periods yet. She is so snappy with me and gets super moody at the littlest thing. I can say one word wrong and that's it I'm the worst mother in the world and she hates me. I'm at such a loss.

Any help or advice?

I don't really have any advice but I'm also struggling with my 11 year old DD. I really don't know what is preteen/hormone issues or is it's anything more.

i feel your pain.

At least we aren't alone. I'm the same, it's hard to figure out what's their hormones and what's not. If you ever want to rant I'm here!

How are you getting onOP?

Things haven't changed for us. Ours doesn't contribute to family life at the moment. we've been away for the weekend and chat moaned all day yesterday and refused to get out of bed to come to breakfast this morning.

I'd love to hear some stories of others where this got better and it was just a phase.

Not eating is very concerning. Have you spoken to Beat or her GP yet? Bone health is a particular concern if she’s not eating and going through puberty. Will she take a vitamin D and calcium supplement?

Sorry I forget to add @MumLifeUnfilteredthat the book Untangled by Lisa Damour helped me when my DD was younger. It’s more about focusing on building a goid relationship though rather than ED.

I’ve seen some suggestion that Anorexia Nervosa is a comorbitity of ASD. Has anyone ever raised the possibility of your DD being ND?

Also forgot to ask of she has TikTok @MumLifeUnfiltered? It is very pro-anorexia. If she does have TikTok i would seriously consider removing it. How well do you have her phone locked down?

Little update on this. She started her first period in March so think it could have been hormones. Her appetite fluctuates as well as her moods so I think it's part of her hormones and cycle!

Sorry for the delay in responding 🤦🏻‍♀️. She doesn't have tiktok or any social media. She has access to YouTube but she uses one of my accounts so I can see her history and block certain channels etc. I check her phone regularly too

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Things have improved to be fair, she ended up getting her first period in March after a very trying week and I was like ahhhh makes sense now. Don't get me wrong she is still very moody and can be withdrawn at times but noticed it's her hormones going up and down through her cycle. I've also limited her phone time massively which has helped as well. Sending you lots of love and positive vibes!