DD Says it Doesn’t Feel like Christmas

[redambergreen70]

This is DD11’s first Christmas where we know she doesn’t believe anymore. She keeps saying it doesn’t feel like Christmas, although I expect it’s due to the magic of Santa no longer being there and just part of growing up.

The house is decorated, outside has lights and we’ve done some festive activities… Elf the Musical and ice skating this weekend.

She also says she doesn’t know what she’s getting because she hasn’t asked for anything. Although she hasn’t explicitly, I’ve been picking up on ideas for the last 6 months so know she won’t be disappointed.

It’s making me a little sad to be honest. Am I missing something? Do I need to be doing something else now she’s older? Her brother is younger so this is definitely the first year experiencing this.

Get her involved in making the magic for her younger sibling.

I think it’s a tricky age anyway with a lot of changes. It’s a hard transition from not being really little anymore.

I have done some things just with my DD11. We watched Elf together and went shopping together today, stopped and had a hot chocolate. Different to previous years but still enjoying the festivities.

Why hasn't she asked for anything?
She may be worried she isn't getting anything she will like which is making her worried for actual Christmas Day (subconsciously - she may not realise this).
Ask her what her favourite parts of Christmas are?

Maybe she needs this year to recalibrate after ‘the Santa years’? Perhaps she will realise that Christmas is still magical but in different ways now.

Well, it isn’t Christmas yet. The last week or so is a bit of a weird time where it seems everyone has been on and on and on about Christmas for bloody ages and it hasn’t arrived, you still have to get up, go to school, all the food is the same as usual, etc. unless you’re rehearsing for something or frantically wrapping or making mince pies and so on its ages to go.

This. Starting it all so early spoils things, makes actual Christmas less special.

She's a tween. She's experiencing the melancholy feeling when the
magic of childhood is behind you and the adventures of adulthood have
not quite begun. She's in her coming of age years.
Sounds like you're a lovely mum and doing everything perfectly ...
including giving her the right to express her feelings

It's currently Advent though.
Pretty much all Christmasy stuff happens during Advent leading up to Christmas and Boxing Day.
(Technically there's 12 days of Christmas but once those 2 days have happened there's very little Christmas stuff going on).

Honestly, I've felt exactly the same way since I was about her age. Christmas still makes me feel sad, because I miss the way things were. I miss the way I felt. I miss the family members we had then that we don't now. Things change and some people aren't good with change.. including me.

I've not looked forward to Christmas for a long time. My children are in their 30s and live their own lives a long way from home. Only through this post do I realise that I feel this way as I enjoyed Christmas as a child surrounded by love and many family members who are no longer with us.