Year 7 friendship worries – is this normal or is it unkindness?

[Flippeddy]

Hi all,

I’m looking for some perspective on my Year 7 daughter’s friendship group.

She’s got a group of girls she hangs around with, but recently she’s been coming home upset. A few things have happened which she says were “just jokes” according to them, but they’ve really hurt her:

• They have linked arms a couple

pf times and physically pushed her out of conversations.

• She’s been called “ugly,” “weird,” and “gross” — all said “as banter ,” but obviously not nice to hear and all isolated occasions…

These have been isolated incidents but all within the same group. The girls are quite bolshy, loud, “ladette” types, so I can’t decide whether they’re just trying to be funny and not realising how much they’re hurting her, or whether this is actually intentional unkindness.

My daughter is sensitive and quite gentle, and she’s feeling really upset and affected by it all. I’m trying to work out whether this is normal Year 7 friendship turbulence or whether I should be taking it more seriously or even speaking to the school.

Has anyone been through similar? Is this typical early secondary friendship stuff or does it sound like something I should intervene in? Any advice very welcome.

I don’t know whether it’s typical for actual friends to do that to each other?

I’ve got one in year 7 too and she comes home regularly saying “so and so said I was fat” or ugly, the size of a bus, stupid etc etc.
she’s none of those things, it’s all just bullshit and bravado. But it’s hard hearing it every day.

we’ve spoken to school several times and they’ve dealt with the worst offenders, but it does still happen, and not just to my DD.
some kids are just dickheads to everyone at that age.

she has a small group of friends who stick up for each other which helps, sounds like your DD might need to rethink who she considers a friend?