Tell me about your 11-12 year old girls…

[Tinkeringg]

Mine is so emotionally volatile - I literally do not know who will wake up in the morning. She constantly switching from bolshy, to withdrawn, to sweetness and light! 4 seasons in an hour!

I love her to bits but I do find this new stage of parenting quite tough - especially when I feel that I am always the one she blames or is angry at when things don’t go her way.

Sometimes she is incredibly mature but other times I am dealing with a very angry and hateful girl… I know it’s not her as such. I want to help her. But I also feel so much much attitude from her towards me - and sometimes my very presence or tone of voice just sets her off.

I don’t think it helps that o am the one that makes and enforces rules whereas her dad is much softer.

How’s everyone else getting on and when does it get easier? Will it get worse?

I have sympathy. They usually come out the other side but potentially not for a while.
I have two daughters and the older one is now great. 12 year old can be challenging.
At the moment it’s also manifesting as being a bit unsociable at home, obsessional interest in a band and not wanting me around as much.
It’s the hormones and it will get easier. I try to remain calm when she’s angry but it’s hard!

Dd2 is 12 and the same. 4 seasons in an hour sums it up perfectly. Sulky, scowling then laughing and joking wanting a cuddle. It can be really hard to deal with. Sometimes it feels like she is looking for an argument with either me or dd1. I'm probably slightly softer with dd than dp is I don't think it make a huge difference. Sometimes it helps resolve a sulk easier.

I don't know how long it lasts or any advice really just you are not the only one. Dd has been like this for approx 12-18 months so I hope we are heading towards calmer times, we have had patches where it's worse and better during this time. Dd1 (14) is less open with her moods/feelings generally so while we have and had the odd sulk she's generally been calmer.