My 11 year old stepson keeps crying

[1sttimeboveymum]

I have an 11 year old steps son who has just finished primary school and starts secondary in september.

We've had him with us for most of the summer holidays and he keeps crying and getting very emotional over random things like not getting an easy question right in a game or no crumpets left for breakfast. Initially we thought it was normal to be a bit emotional about leaving primary and apprehensive about starting secondary and we've asked him how he's feeling and he's said to us he's worried about secondary and he really misses his teachers. When we tried to reassure him that most of his class were going to the same secondary he didn't seem very fussed about it and it's made us concerned that he may not actually have real friends as he doesn't seem to go and play with other kids his sge, only with his cousins who are much younger.

His mum pushed for an autism type diagnosis but this never materialised into anything and during year 6 he really seemed to have turned a corner and get my,he more confident however now he's crying over what seems like nothing constantly.

Unfortunately we have little to do with his day to day school life as we live 2hrs away but get the impression he isn't involved in much extracurricular stuff and has historically been a bit of a loner at school until year 6.

Should we be concerned that this is more than secondary school jitters or is it normal?

Also what's the best thing to do when he cries of has an angry outburst?

yes but he only started crying during the summer holidays - we have had him since he left primary so she hasn’t seen him cry first hand yet. We’ve spoken to her over the phone and he’s facetimed her but she didn’t have any suggestions either.

i had suggested that maybe he should go home to her as he was probably missing her a bit as well, and I thought naturally the mum and son bond tends to be more useful for more of the emotional stuff than the bond his dad and him have, and me and him have. Unfortunately we’re going on holiday next week though so couldn’t really drop him home so I’m hoping the holiday will be a good distraction and then he’s going back to his mum’s the day after we get back so then she will get just over two weeks of the summer with him where hopefully he’ll open up a bit more

Try to get him fit physically fit so he can hold his own at sport - if he got into a school team he’d be accepted well at school ( difficult though)

I have a 10 year old and he’s often emotional when he goes to his dads. He is absolutely fine and happy at home but changes when he is due to go or is there.
Could it be that he just wants to go home or hang with his friends? Could you try and arrange for some friends to come over for a couple of days? Could he go home? Although you say he often comes weekends and holidays, children’s take on this does change. My son has been going to his dads every other weekend for 7 years and he now hates it. Not because he doesn’t want to see his dad, but because he wants to be at home. Routine changes and expectations are different.

I have an 11 year old who have been very tear/emotional for about 6 months now. I’ve put it down to hormones.

Possibly but he’s been doing it since he was 6 months old so doesn’t really know any different and he tends to get upset the day that his dad drops him back.

Unfortunately we can’t really have any of his friends visit or stay as we live so far away.

He’s been facetiming his mum a bit more and we’re trying to keep him busy and he seems much better now so hopefully once he goes back to his mum’s next week he’ll be back to normal - we’re on holiday this week so couldn’t take him home early.