Best ways to keep DD safe online?

[LilacMist]

I know the obvious answer is NO PHONE! But the reality is she's being left out of activities within her friend group with the excuse always being 'we said it in the chat' when she asks her friends why they didn't invite her. I have seen the chats in question and they don't seem to be leaving her out out of meanness but simply spur of the moment plans or plans made in advance and no-one thinks to say oh someone knock for MiniLilac etc. Add to that she's leaving year 7 in a few weeks and is desperate to keep in touch with her classmates before they start secondary. She also has health issues which means she needs to be able to be in contact at the park (it's at the end of our row but not visible from my house) and while travelling to school in September etc.

So, with that in mind we've decided she can have her Dad's old iphone but not until I know how to set it up with as much safety as possible. I am very new to iPhone so I'm not sure how best to do that and want to get it right. Can I set it to alert me to her trying to download apps? She won't be allowed it in her room at night but I still want to lock it down as much as I can before giving it to her.

We have downloaded Family Link (Android, but I think it might be on Apple too) as ds is in a similar situation. We were advised by his Y6 teacher to get a phone now rather than when at secondary as we can get all the teething probs with setting it up etc plus novelty factor and mistakes over usage over and done with now rather than when at high school where it's harder to support/sort out should issues arise. It also gives chance to engrain good habits / phone etiquette.

Family Link lets me limit screen time, set restrictions on which apps he can/can't use at any time, make him ask for permission before downloading apps. It seems pretty good so far. It also lets me quickly drop some/all restrictions, add bonus time, allow YouTube but at an age filtered level (not YouTube kids), and allow use of certain apps outside time limits.

I've been impressed.

Edited to add: can also completely block certain apps (eg social media) and create schedules for hours the phone can / can't be used eg not in use 9am - 4pm weekdays.

Family link is excellent.we found very quickly that what's app is not ok,kids send videos very quickly that are not ok and even if you check daily it's too late,so we took off what's app and left with texting for friends,you can disable videos and photos there.we took off Google and YouTube etc so they don't have the internet access. Safer to go with a Nokia for sure,it's a learning curve!