Building self control around junk food in nearly 9 year old

[Tootsweets23]

My nearly 9 year old DD has a real lack of self control when it comes to junk food or any sweet food she likes. We provide a lot of healthy meals and snacks, so in general she gets a really good diet. However, if there is any opportunity say at a party to have anything unhealthy - sweets, crisps and the like - she will devour it like there is no tomorrow, and won't stop. I end up having to say 'no' all the the time but it is like she can't help herself. It is leading her to be devious and sneaking foods too. I am conscious that the dynamic is now where I'm controlling what she can and can't have, so I haven't done a good job of encouraging her to develop more self control of herself. We don't usually have junk food in the house, but currently do because we had a birthday party for her brother, which is burning a hole in her brain. Do you have any suggestions of what we can do to encourage her to develop a level of self control when it comes to sweets and the like? I am concerned that the feast/famine scenario I've set up is making her obsess about junk food because she feels she'll never get it again. I wonder if it is as simple as allowing her and her younger brother to buy something from the corner shop each week, up to them to decide what to get? Any suggestions welcome!

Junk food is designed to be addictive so this is not a surprising issue: food bank any excess (or freeze etc)

Meanwhile set reasonable limits (eg 1 sweet item a day or whatever you feel is appropriate) and reinforce that

It sounds from your post like she is no allowed access to”junk” foods at all at home other than if there is a birthday or similar? That’s probably the issue. Let her have access to smaller amounts - perhaps one small treat a day, or a certain amount a week which she has control of - then it becomes less of an issue. At parties, I’d let her have what she wants. It’s very irregular and no reason to restrict for a one off. My DS was always allowed whatever at parties. Christmas Day and Easter Sunday, and has good weight/health and relationship with food/treats. By contrast my DH had treats much more restricted and used to do secret eating etc (some of which he even still does now! Has a terrible relationship with sugar). Treats should be that - treats - but try to avoid designating good food/bad food - just enjoy the treats as treats when you have them, and allow the occasional blow out. By restricting too much you are making them much more desirable … forbidden fruit!