When did child start putting themselves to bed?

[Elfie23]

As above really. DD is almost 11 and I’ve always hated the bedtime routine and thought it might be better by now! It seems to take so bloody long!

I usually send her off to brush her teeth and have a shower by 7:30. I then go in the shower when she gets out and she’ll read a bit of a book or draw while I shower and get dressed. She still likes me to read to her which I don’t mind and will do for about 15 mins.

Somehow it’s usually 9pm at least by the time we say good night! She faffs about a lot and if I don’t basically say do this do that she will get distracted. She always wants me to chat to her while she’s in the bathroom too which I rarely do (solid dark shower curtain you can’t see through) but I have to pop back and say have you used the shower gel yet as she’ll just stand under the water doing nothing. it’s taking 90mins to shower brush teeth and read 🙈🙈 what id really love is to send her off for a shower while I tidy up etc, her read to herself and me just pop my head in to say good night.

Has anyone else cracked just sending DC off to shower and go to bed? If so what age? I don’t know if I’m wanting too much too early.

Not sure if this is context but I’m a single parent and up between 5:30/6 each day and by 9pm I’m totally pooped!

Following with interest as my DS is 9 and exactly the same! I'm also si gle parent working full time so no-one else to share the load.

No matter what tweaks I make to the routine, I'm never downstairs before 9pm (although I do have DD 5 who i bath then get ready for bed while DS showers, does teeth etc. But i have to keep checking he has started washing rather than standing under the shower having a conversation with himself!

The only thing that has helped slightly is a 'countdown clock timer' - so you can give them 10mins for a shower and then an alarm goes off. Helps DS keep an eye on how quickly time passes.

https://amzn.eu/d/apzwRe0

My 9 year old puts herself to bed. I couldn't faff around putting a child that age to bed.

@NotSafeInTaxis How did you get to that point? As you would have put them to bed as a baby/toddler - when and how did you switch to them taking themselves to bed?

I’m in and out the room. She wouldn’t wash her face or brush her teeth properly unless I supervise. She’s 12!

My 11yr old isn’t told when to shower. She picks and chooses when she does it… she does shower every day, but I have no input in to it.

She goes to bed at 10pm, same as me and DH. We brush teeth together, she sorts her face out… totally in to creams and cleansers atm 🙄… she gets in to bed and I say goodnight. 5 min job.

I have a 15yr old boy, who at 10pm I say good bight to through his closed door. Ge’s normally asleep by 11. He loves his sleep so I’m not worries about him staying up all night.