What age would you leave DC home alone before and after school?

[Navigatingchaos]

Currently my DC go to a childminder before and after school on the days I work. DC are in Y3 and Y5. Y5 child is quite mature and we have started letting her stay home alone for half an hour or so whilst we run other DC to a club or go to pick up milk etc. Y3 child is too young to consider leaving home alone at this stage but is also more likely to end up creating havoc anyway!

I am looking at changing jobs, and wouldn’t have consistent work days in one of the roles I am looking at which would make childcare difficult. I would need to leave the house between 7-7.30am and be home between 4.30-5.30pm. School is a half mile walk away along a well lit path, two roads to cross. School starts at 9.00am for them, and finishes around 3.

i wouldn’t consider letting them stay home and get themselves to and from school themselves at this stage so will factor in childcare, but it made me wonder when we could consider this option.

What age do people generally do this? I have no flexibility around working times, but do only work term time and only a few days a week if that’s relevant. No grandparents around to help, and DH works away during the week.

Probably not till secondary school. Lots of year six children do walk to and from school but I think the issue would be leaving them alone in the house before and after and expecting them to leave the house on time and lock up behind them, remember their bags, keys etc.

For us it was not about age / responsibility as individuals but conflict between sibs. It’s still an issue at 15/17. Both fine home alone and solo and have been for ages. Both of them home alone for any length of time? Makes me twitchy. So it depends on lots of factors.

My sons are y5 and y7

i wouldn’t be happy with this for my y5 son (though like you I do leave him alone for short periods when ferrying his brother around)

I might for y6 though. Our school technically wants the children dropped off and picked up until y6.

Yes this. I’d be more likely to be happy about them returning after school, as long as there was a back up plan in case they lost their key

By the end of year 6. Initially in y6 the eldest walled home and dh was always home in time. In the last term we had started to introduce days where they were home for half an hour to an hour, or even half an hour at the park before either of us would be home. The younger one stayed in after school club. This was to help prepare them for secondary when they would need to be home alone. When the second one got to year 6 we did the same but the older one was at home with them so we didn't need to be.

I don’t!

Even in secondary school mornings are an important time.

Starting the school day calm and relaxed is so important. Just because a child could cope, doesn’t mean that they should have to.

I let my dd catch the bus home from school and be alone in the house for a while when she was in year 6.
She's an only child so no sibling arguments to worry about which made it easier for me to say yes when she asked.

This is a very good point re sibling arguments that I hadn’t considered; they argue endlessly! Thanks, a valid point to consider when the time comes.

Come secondary, the eldest will have no choice but to get herself out the door on time. There is no childcare option for them once they move to Y7 here, and I have to leave the house by 7.30 so couldn’t drop her at school before I go. I really don’t like the thought of it.

Not until 14/15 at least. Some teenagers find getting up a challenge and without an adult there to oversee the morning getting up and ready rush, I would expect some lates/non attendance at school. They need a parent/adult to get them out of the door on time.

I was left alone for significant periods of time both before and after school and it was horrendously lonely. I did have a sibling but as the older one me it was down to me to 'sort' things for him too. I think just being around, even when kids are technically old enough to be left alone, is really important for their development.

I could leave DS13 (Y8) and DD11 (Y7). DS often stays home alone, he can make his own food then goes back to his room. DD stays home sometimes during football or when we're popping out quickly, never more than 2-3 hours as she isn't keen.

DS has been getting himself ready and to/from school solo since his 10th birthday (mid Y5) without telling him when to leave, even though I was going to the same school with younger kids. Primary was 1 mile away, 2 busy roads and some smaller roads. High school is almost 2 miles away, 3 busy roads.

I think it really depends on the child. DS has always been more responsible and independent than DD. They get back from school on a Monday and no adult is home until 5. There is always a hot drink waiting for me from DS when I get back! I let them know when I've left as i'm only 10min away, he always times it right. I never asked for it but I got a good one there! He is also the only other person who makes my drink how I like it!

Before School... secondary
After school... if responsible Yr6.

Although secondary schools don't have "childcare" before school, they ate often open... the canteen opens for breakfast at 8am at DDs school (free toast available)

Year 5 for us.
Eldest, we had no choice. Where we were living the kids move to middle school year 5. Started off with them walking to her old after school club at lower school, but frankly she had to walk past home. If she dawdled, I'd get a call reporting her "missing". By the first half term she was letting herself in. She would get home at 4.10 ish, me at 5 ish with the younger one.
Big age gap and house move etc, last child walked home towards end of year 5. In year 6, she would walk home, change, eat and take herself to her dance lesson round the corner!