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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

11 YO Daughter wearing her snowsuit all the time?

29 replies

ChristaS · 19/02/2025 08:00

Hi all! I’m writing today with a topic that’s just most randomly come up and now I’m catching myself unsure of how to handle things

I had the thought in September last year to bring up our snow clothes early to check if she had outgrown it. It mostly fit fine, and I had even originally thought to only get a new coat instead of a set with snowpants since she would maybe not wear them (I often used to nag her to wear them to school) but I found a great deal on a snowsuit set. She was happy and to my surprise mentioned she was really wanting new snowpants, so I felt great thinking she’d still get use of them. I tucked both old and new away in her closet so they were ready for her to try out in the snow in a few weeks time, and didn’t think anything of it again.

Going into this winter to my surprise, she’s worn her snowsuit everywhere. To sled and play in snow with friends (which she’s done tons) but also walks, to school, even to walk to the mailbox.

it surprised me that she loved them but I thought great! She’s warm and I couldn’t be happier. She even kept them on (just the snowpants, usually) after coming home a lot of the time and I had to remind her to take them off and keep them off until they get cleaned. I would clean them, and I noticed she brought them up to her room again as soon as they were done in the dryer. Of course leaving her other clothes behind.. facepalm lol

and then, a few days ago, I had noticed she was wearing them the whole evening inside the house when she was home alone after school. We came home early so I think we caught her off guard, I said I hope she hadn’t been on the furniture and she said she had wiped her snowpants clean and kept them on because it was cold in the house.

that was weird, but the most suprising was last night when I peeked in her room, I found both her old and new snowpants missing from her closet. They were nowhere to be seen in the house, so she must have put them on to sleep.

she has plenty of blankets and our house is at the same temperature it’s always set at in the winter..

I wasn’t sure what to do, so mentioned in passing to her a reminder to keep her snowsuit off until it’s clean again. She said she keeps it really clean most days and any day she plays in the snow she takes it off. I admit she does actually keep them clean and has been putting them in the laundry if they are ever wet or dirty. Then she started changing the subject and saw she was beet red as well

im not sure if she just likes them like a security blanket and I should allow her to go through this phase or if it’s something more concerning? I was surprised how quickly she dodged my questions. I don’t want to embarrass her or feel like she’s acting wrong, really I guess I am so happy she loves them! But has anybody else had to draw a line like this with clothing before?

OP posts:
BlueSilverCats · 19/02/2025 09:07

Something more concerning... like what?

GreatgreatAuntMatildaMurrumbidgee · 19/02/2025 09:10

Sorry but I have to ask..is this a joke?

whathaveiforgotten · 19/02/2025 09:15

Unless you think she's wearing them while she's committing crimes, what would be 'concerning' about this situation?!

Hattieandcake · 19/02/2025 09:18

🤣🤣🤣

BlondiePortz · 19/02/2025 09:20

What is the actual concern?

MumonabikeE5 · 19/02/2025 09:20

Maybe get her a couple more pairs?
I mean I’ve been freezing all winter.
she’s not freezing cold. She’s toasty.

Dolambslikemintsauce · 19/02/2025 09:21

Stop laughing.. It's snow joke......

doodahdayy · 19/02/2025 09:22

Dolambslikemintsauce · 19/02/2025 09:21

Stop laughing.. It's snow joke......

Love it

loropianalover · 19/02/2025 09:22

Sorry OP but the wearing of snow pants has strong gang affiliations these days. Is there any way you can shred and burn them?

WonderingWanda · 19/02/2025 09:24

If she's feeling cold are wants to be warmer then you could take her shopping for some thermals? I'm guessing you aren't in the UK but maybe you have those fleece lined leggings we have here?

Concerns would be, is she very cold all the time so is there something autoimmune going on like hypothyroid. Or is she showing signs of asd or ocd. If she is otherwise happy and has just decided she likes to feel snug then just get her some warmer loungewear for at home.

Blonwen · 19/02/2025 09:31

Obviously this could be nothing - maybe she just really likes the snowsuit! But this is exactly the kind of thing my kids would have done (my son was the same with his duffle coat at that age) and they were both diagnosed with autism as teenagers. It can be a sensory thing.

Don't laugh at OP being concerned; it may be nothing, but she knows her kid and she feels like something is a bit off.

GreatgreatAuntMatildaMurrumbidgee · 19/02/2025 09:43

Blonwen · 19/02/2025 09:31

Obviously this could be nothing - maybe she just really likes the snowsuit! But this is exactly the kind of thing my kids would have done (my son was the same with his duffle coat at that age) and they were both diagnosed with autism as teenagers. It can be a sensory thing.

Don't laugh at OP being concerned; it may be nothing, but she knows her kid and she feels like something is a bit off.

Sorry but why is it on here that when a parent has concerns a few posts in someone suggests autism?

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 19/02/2025 09:51

I have the same, worrisome issue with my 11 year old. She loves one particular jumper she wears it loads. Like morning AND afternoon.
It's really scary and we are getting her some therapy.
I'm putting it down to covid lockdowns.

Thoughts and prayers x

GreatgreatAuntMatildaMurrumbidgee · 19/02/2025 09:55

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 19/02/2025 09:51

I have the same, worrisome issue with my 11 year old. She loves one particular jumper she wears it loads. Like morning AND afternoon.
It's really scary and we are getting her some therapy.
I'm putting it down to covid lockdowns.

Thoughts and prayers x

Really

Hooliewhat · 19/02/2025 09:59

Hi OP hopefully just a fad. Other options

  1. just a fad phase
  2. ASD …my son (uk so on looong list for official diagnosis and support 😔 ) wears the same tracksuit and onesie on repeat. Has plenty of other options. My neighbour is ASD and has duplicates on one outfit and wears it daily!
  3. body changes…is she hiding her shape. (I spent a summer in a baggy jumper trying to hide my growing breasts 😓)
  4. Body changes … worried about period leaks?
  5. she is not confident re clothes choice and fitting in. Someone told her she looked good in the ski pants and she is holding onto that. Or someone was mean about a different outfit and she is playing safe
INeedAnotherName · 19/02/2025 10:00

She might just be feeling very cold so you need to investigate why. Is it her thyroid or low iron or hormones?

Why I hit puberty I was always freezing cold, then I hit menopause and now I'm always too hot. My youngest DD is freezing cold since she hit puberty too which is why I added hormones to the list. Chat to her.

SigmaStarFlower · 19/02/2025 10:15

Just wait until she’s a teenager and doesn’t change her underwear. There’s a phrase “just let them”. Wearing them is probably comfortable and comforting. What do you like to wear at home? I tend to wear my comfy leggings for lounging around. As the parent of two teenage girls believe me there’s still a lot to come. I’m at the stage of every piece of my crockery is missing and can be found in their bedrooms. It started with eldest.. now it’s the younger one! It’s no reflection on parenting, kids go through stages. Your daughter will soon go off them, I wouldn’t worry if I were you xx

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 19/02/2025 10:19

Why not try her in a pair of these - it may be the warmth comfort feeling she is looking for and she could infact just be cold

https://www.next.co.uk/style/ls433982/b59578?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAn9a9BhBtEiwAbKg6fucyV2fljA7lAhvXF-whp2QZWd7QtJWJOdi2IsO7WxLDBtIrcUVjohoCdrEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#B59578

Blonwen · 19/02/2025 10:24

GreatgreatAuntMatildaMurrumbidgee · 19/02/2025 09:43

Sorry but why is it on here that when a parent has concerns a few posts in someone suggests autism?

Well, in my case, it's because I have 2 kids with autism, and I recognised a quite specific sensory-seeking behaviour of theirs in the OP's description.

Lots of people might not recognise it if they don't have that experience. And of course it may be entirely unrelated to autism in this case. But in the case of my own kids, I really wish someone had spotted it and pointed out the possibility when they were that age. It would have saved a lot of time and trouble.

Any more questions?

CaptainMyCaptain · 19/02/2025 10:28

BlueSilverCats · 19/02/2025 09:07

Something more concerning... like what?

Covering up extreme weight loss? Although 11 is maybe a bit young for that. Hiding signs of puberty like breasts developing?

Nothatgingerpirate · 19/02/2025 10:34

Fascinating...

SigmaStarFlower · 19/02/2025 10:53

Hooliewhat · 19/02/2025 09:59

Hi OP hopefully just a fad. Other options

  1. just a fad phase
  2. ASD …my son (uk so on looong list for official diagnosis and support 😔 ) wears the same tracksuit and onesie on repeat. Has plenty of other options. My neighbour is ASD and has duplicates on one outfit and wears it daily!
  3. body changes…is she hiding her shape. (I spent a summer in a baggy jumper trying to hide my growing breasts 😓)
  4. Body changes … worried about period leaks?
  5. she is not confident re clothes choice and fitting in. Someone told her she looked good in the ski pants and she is holding onto that. Or someone was mean about a different outfit and she is playing safe
Edited

Yes I agree with all your suggestions. Re period and body changes. Both my daughters started their periods just before their 12th birthdays and they were conscious of their developing bodies. I remember my own mother taking me out to buy my first bra and it was the most excruciatingly embarrassing moment of my life. I was mindful of this sensitivity when buying for my own daughters. Funnily enough they both confidently go into Victoria’s Secret on their own to buy underwear with their own money now. I on the other hand, still find purchasing underwear embarrassing 😳 😆

Laszlomydarling · 19/02/2025 11:03

She likes the snow suit. This isn't a concern. I dont understand why you're making such an issue about it. To the point she's getting embarrassed. Poor kid.

mitogoshigg · 19/02/2025 11:22

I'm guessing they are more fashionable where you live, you mention playing in snow (we don't get snow here!) what is the actual problem?

BodenCardiganNot · 19/02/2025 11:27

My dd went through a phase at that age of wearing the same 2 pairs of jeans and 2 sweatshirts all the time. It was a control response to deal with anxiety.