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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

How can I get my daughter to understand hygiene?

3 replies

TheGhostsOfMeAndYou · 29/10/2024 13:32

My daughter is 11, she is deaf (wears hearing aids in both ears) and has suspected neurodevelopmental disorder, but as she already has an EHCP, related to her being deaf, and our local service is so overwhelmed they have rejected a referral).

She doesn't like certain sounds, and feelings and struggles with her emotions and has a very short attention span.

We are having a nightmare getting her to wash, shower and do her teeth.

I think she gets bored doing these things and therefore just can't be bothered.

She showers twice a week, on a Sunday and I wash her hair in the showers on a Tuesday evening after she has had a swimming lesson.

Getting her to do any of the above, is a hell of a job, I literally have to beg, plead and bribe. We constantly stress to her the importance of good hygiene and what the consequences of not looking after herself are but non of these seem to help convince her to change.

Myself and her dad shower at least once a day and wash each morning/evening and brush our teeth twice a day.

She also will wipe her mouth, or hands, when dirty on her top, sleeves or trousers.

She is so worried about how she looks and very particular about what she wears and how she has her hair but doesn't seem to equate wiping dirt on her clothing makes her look dirty and not how she envisions.

I'm at my wits end and don't know how to get her to realise the importance of these things.

I'm desperate to get her to realise these before she gets older and BO etc. starts to become more of an issue.

OP posts:
RosieFlamingo · 29/10/2024 13:34

Ds gas additional needs a d went through a phase like this. We had to be very blunt e.g. you smell, have a shower. If he didn't, he lost tech etc until he washed. He's now 13 and showers daily without prompting as it's part if his routine.

EndlessLight · 29/10/2024 13:45

What support (including therapies) is in DD’s EHCP and is it currently being provided? Has DD had an OT assessment and is ongoing OT support included in DD’s EHCP?

Have you tried some PDA strategies?

PolaroidPrincess · 01/11/2024 09:10

I'm so sorry that the referral got rejected. Could you try again? We had more success going through the GP as school wouldn't listen.

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