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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Questions about childhood

3 replies

pickle8 · 04/10/2024 13:49

Hi, Long time reader first time poster 😂

My eldest is 10 and is starting to become inquisitive about life, what my childhood was like, family dynamics, etc. I was wondering how much do you share with them?

From my side I had a very difficult upbringing; grew up on the poverty line, Alcoholic mother, Pain killer addicted father, this led to an emotionally and verbally abusive upbringing (Also occasionally violent for good measure), I also took a lot of this to protect my younger sister from it (age gap of 6 years, she never saw the worst of it as when she was becoming more aware was the point where they were starting to get help). Coupled with being bullied in school due to it.

I moved out at the earliest point I could and I have drawn a line underneath it, the past is the past and have not let it define me. I am happily married with 2 kids who I have been there for at every step. I have even started to reconcile with my parents as they have started to overcome their addictions over the last decade or so as I have realised that a lot of their behaviour was down to that, not who they are. Not a normal relationship, not that it ever will be, but it's at least civil now.

So the questions from my son about, what was your childhood like, why do we not see grandparents as often as my cousin's do, etc all harmless questions. But how much of the un filtered truth do I give?

OP posts:
PolaroidPrincess · 18/10/2024 20:04

I'm so sorry that you haven't received any responses to this @pickle8.

She sounds a very aware 10 year old. I have no idea how to deal with that though as both of mine were a bit wrapped up in their own lives at that age Wink

NuffSaidSam · 18/10/2024 20:10

I think at 10 you can be fairly honest. I'd imagine he's come across suffering in books/films/the news so he already knows that life isn't rosy for everyone. I'd be honest, but without going into any harrowing detail.

NuffSaidSam · 18/10/2024 20:12

It could be the starting point for a lot of very important conversations (drink/drugs/gratitude/holding personal boundaries/being able to make a change/dealing with adversity).

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