Hi all,
I'll try to keep this brief.
Split with ex when DD was 6 months old she is now 10yrs, going into yr6 in September.
Split with dad as he is a bully and narcissist- he's had 5 other girlfriends after me, 2 he has had other children with, one now aged 4 and the other is a baby (still with baby's mum at the moment)
Child 2's mum definitely had the same treatment as me.
Ex didn't seem to display any of these behaviours towards DD (according to baby mum 2, DD was 6 when they split) and she hadn't mentioned anything before but now she has made a few comments and I don't know if I'm jumping the gun but my heckles are up.
DD has sleep issues and takes medication for it. Recent appointment the paediatrician was really pleased we've managed to half the dose on one of her tablets so now we are trying to cut down the other one too. Told Ex this and gave him the new tablets for when she stays at his.
DD tells me he's said to her a few times 'you don't need these tablets you should be able to sleep you're not a baby' and such like comments. She has struggled with anxiety in the past and still does although not quite as bad. However things like that really affect her and put her down. I've told her to tell him not to be mean and that the doctor - with the medical degree he doesn't have - wouldn't have prescribed meds she didn't need!
I've also hammered home over text that she's going the right way and just needs some encouragement.
She shares a room with little sister at his and she has a white noise app for sleep - DD mentioned it turned off last time she was there so she got up to tell Ex and she got told off for getting up - she says she goes out so little one doesn't get told off :(
What I can't work out is if the tellings off are really bad or if it's a case of a tired parent saying 'oh X it's bedtime go to bed and stay there' he can be really negative in the way he speaks generally too - doesn't seem to be much praise going on.
I did say I would have a word about the sleep thing but she begged me not to as 'I'll get in trouble for grassing him up' - when I've told her before if she don't want to go if he's being horrible she don't have to she says that she won't be able to see her siblings then - I feel if they weren't around she wouldn't be bothered about seeing him.
I'm not sure what to do - I'm monitoring it at the moment but desperately want to tear him a new one - what would you do?