What do I do??

[Cmorgan24]

Hi I'm not sure what to do I have read messages that my 13 year old daughter has sent today in a group of friends she has said to a number of people within the group chat that she will r**e them whilst laughing, she knows what it is I have explained to her what it is in the past and about being safe she also knows that it has happened to me in the past I'm really concerned that iv read this I really don't know what to do as she has repeatedly said this a couple of girls and boys in the chat today and these kids are all in year 7 and she is in year 9.

[GrazingSheep]

So she says jokingly that she will rape children 2 years younger than her?

[Fiddlerdragon]

If my year 7 was receiving rape threats from a year 9 in school I’d be contacting the school and parents, and possibly be phoning the police. I think that phone needs to be removed immediately. An apology given, in person, to the children she’s threatened. And a series of long chats about all of the aspects of how what she’s done is fucking unacceptable

[Smartiepants79]

Well I’d be removing the phone and replacing it with a non-smart version.
She’d be going nowhere except school and home until she showed me she understands the gravity of what she has written.
some serious conversations need to be had.

[Smartiepants79]

Does she understand she could be arrested for this?

[evertheblue]

she loses the phone, right now, and long term. She is clearly no where near mature enough to have access to a smart phone. She is going to get herself into so much trouble. These messages could surface in 10 or 20 or 30 or 40 years time, and wreck her career

[Cmorgan24]

The phone was removed from her immediately and I won't be sending her to school tomorrow I will be contacting the school first thing and explain the situation, I am concerned aswell as she does share a bedroom with her 2 younger sisters I feel completely deflated by this situation. Iv had so many problems with her behaviour in the past in regards to stealing lieing and running away, but this is just to far she has crossed the line

[LenaLamont]

@Fiddlerdragon

If my year 7 was receiving rape threats from a year 9 in school I’d be contacting the school and parents, and possibly be phoning the police. I think that phone needs to be removed immediately. An apology given, in person, to the children she’s threatened. And a series of long chats about all of the aspects of how what she’s done is fucking unacceptable

Bloody right!

I think I’d contact the school myself, if I were you, OP, because those Y7 children need support and to know that is not an OK message to receive. You’ll be fortunate is the parents haven’t contacted the authorities.

I’d definitely remove DD’s phone immediately, and access to any social media account. She clearly cannot be trusted to use them appropriately.

I’m sure this must be incredibly distressing for you. I can only imagine how appalled I’d be in your situation.

[LenaLamont]

Cross-posted with the OP.

My sympathies remain; what a thing to have to find out.

[Cmorgan24]

I have put a message on the group chat and explained that I have taken her phone off her and I explained that the messages were unacceptable and I am disgusted and disappointed by her, I will be contacting the school but do I need to contact anyone else like ss or anyone because this behaviour is unacceptable and its very concerning

[MermaidEyes]

Why is she on a group chat with kids 2 years younger? Have you tried getting to the bottom of the issues she quite clearly has? Lying, stealing and running away are often cries for attention. This just sounds like another way of trying to get it to me.

[Fiddlerdragon]

@LenaLamont

Bloody right!

I think I’d contact the school myself, if I were you, OP, because those Y7 children need support and to know that is not an OK message to receive. You’ll be fortunate is the parents haven’t contacted the authorities.

I’d definitely remove DD’s phone immediately, and access to any social media account. She clearly cannot be trusted to use them appropriately.

I’m sure this must be incredibly distressing for you. I can only imagine how appalled I’d be in your situation.

The parents may not even know yet tbf. Unless their children have told them now, they may not find out until they (hopefully) check their children’s devices

[Cmorgan24]

The reason she is friends with kids in year 7 is because she has lost so many friends over the years because of the way she treats them and the way she is with them and this is no reflection from her upbringing or anything and everyone has tried talking with her about her behaviour when she is lieing stealing and running away not just me but her friends her friends parents the school social services even the police but when I say she is the most stubborn person iv ever known I mean it no one has been able to get through to her and I've tried many organisations for help and nothing has helped but this is just one step to far this is line crossed situation

[Cmorgan24]

Unfortunately iv come across alot of situations regarding SC and social media and iv even spoken to alot of my kids friends, I'd say 98 percent of parents aren't actively checking there kids phones and most of these kids feel like it's an invasion of privacy but iv said in my house when it comes to phones social media ect none of my kids are allowed that "privacy" I check there phones i have all there passwords and I do consistently check hence how iv come across these messages today