Is this normal

[MissJJ19]

My daughter is 12 and started secondary school in September. She spends ALOT of time in her room and I'm starting to get mum guilt.
We used to do so much together family days put ect and now she just doesn't want to anymore.
She's very creative and has hobbies she likes to do at home and will sometimes go out with her friends at the park. We try really hard to get involved with what she's doing but most of the time it's short bursts then she wants to go back into her room. Is this normal behaviour for a 12 year old? Should I be doing more?

Yes this is totally normal. I was like this as a kid at that age and so was my DSD and my niece. It’s sad that our kids don’t want to spend as much time with us, at this age, but planning some things to do together as a family should help. Letting DD know when you’d like her to be present (meal times, watching a film together, going out somewhere), will help her to understand when she needs to socialise with her family. Letting her be involved in planning some of the family time sometimes (what meal to have, what film to watch, where to go out) will also help her to maintain the family bonds on terms she’s happy with, though of course she shouldn’t get to dictate everything, all the time.

Give her lots of space and time to herself, though. It’s time like this that kids need to think over recent events, conversations, interactions etc and make sense of them in a quiet, calm and safe environment.

very normal. my 16 year old used to do this a lot and my 12 year old currently does.

Another vote for normal. My 12 year old loves her room & will come straight home from school & get into her bed fully clothed 🤣 she also will happily come and join us for a cuddle or brief chat to fill us in on any gossip from school. I do occasionally knock and make an excuse to pop in (offering drinks/snacks/clothes needing to be put away etc) just to check in on her if she’s been silent for a few hours, I still feel guilty like you say & worry that she’s in there because she’s upset etc but she’s always just chilling