Nearly 12 year old DD generalized anxiety?

[pumpkin1976]

Hi
just reaching out for like minded people really. I have a confident and very bright 11 year old. Started her period 18 months ago, so early. She started secondary school last sept and has coped so well. Made tonnes of friends, happy to go in the morning and coping with the work (it's a demanding school with high expectations but she's managing and enjoying it)

I have noticed how exhausted she is though in the evening. She has always had some degree of night time anxiety. A fear of not being able to go to sleep. Recently she's been getting anxious at night which then makes her feel nauseous and then she panicked about being sick. I get it's a vicious cycle. She was in such a state last night but was okay in the end and has gone off to school today fine and happy. I tend to snowball things in my head and have spent the morning worrying it will get worse and have imagined all sorts of horrible scenarios (wonder where she gets that from 🥴, I remember having terrible anxiety as a child so I feel some of it might be inherited)

looking for anyone with a similar child. The anxiety isn't about anything in particular. She has said that. She's just feeling overwhelmed with life and I do wonder if hormones don't help? We are trying to keep a track of periods and see if there are any patterns. I've read lots about cbt methods for anxiety, so I'll help her with that. I work with children but it's so hard when it's your own and sometimes I lose patience and then know I make her anxiety worse, and that leaves me feeling like a rubbish mum.

Would love to hear if anyone of you out there have children with similar issues.

thanks for reading, I appreciate it x

Have you tried magnesium for her sleep? Even if it just gives her some confidence that it will work.
My DD started to struggle with anxiety at GCSE’s but we thought it was just exam nerves as she hid it well. Then when we got to A levels it was very obvious. We paid for some private counselling, which has helped massively.
I think she will always have it to a certain degree, but for now she knows how to manage it.

Thank you she takes magnesium and a hormone vitamin, as I wasn't sure it was hormonal. She is complaining of pain in between her breasts and I'm wondering if that's anxiety or whether it's reflux.
she seems to have gotten herself in a tiz and is anxious about being anxious. It seems to be at night and in the evening, when she's busy and distracted she's fine. She is happy in school but I'm conscious that the work is full on. It's like her brain is in overdrive but when she slows down the anxiety kicks in. I'll keep an eye on things.

thanks so much for replying. I have found myself getting stressed and upset, as I catastrophise and I hate seeing my daughter struggling sometimes xx

Do not let her see your stress and upset. Does she have any hobbies/friends out of school?
My DH has anxiety and I wondered if DD’s might be inherited. Also, before he was diagnosed one of the physical things he would complain about was pain behind his sternum. So much so that the doctor considered costochondritis, but it wasn’t, it was anxiety.

Sorry to hear this, must be really stressful for her and you!
My little girl isn't old enough yet but my brother experienced this from about 12 onwards all the way through school. Anxious, nauseous, this would make him sick and then in turn he would feel more anxious. I would try to get her into therapy early if you can, just so she can be empowered with coping techniques for those anxious thoughts. My brother had hypnotherapy and CBT in his teens and found both really helpful.

Thanks all. I will keep an eye on things and we will get some help if it worsens. I won't go via camhs as it would take forever.

she has tonnes of friends, is super confident in school and has been pretty rock solid up until now. It's just nausea and she locates it to a discomfort on her chest. She can't identify anything else worrying her just the worry that she will be sick but she has never been. Her period is coming up next week and she has grown so much over the last 6 months. I do remember her going through phases like this in the past (years ago) general anxiety and feeling icky. It's frustrating for her as she says she can't identify any reason to feel anxious as she's happy, has friends and enjoys school. I do think it's generalized anxiety. wondering if it's having a busy mind, doing lots at school and being exhausted bless her.

we are trying to mention it much, as we have talked about it a lot and keep things positive. xx

Hi,

I know this is an old thread but I just wondered how your DD was doing now? I could literally have written your post about my daughter at the moment.

Hi

we had a bit of a bumpy ride from Jan until July. Anxiety and exhaustion was still there but ebbed and flowed a bit. There were a few better months and then she got so exhausted at the end of the summer term (nausea, wired at night and feeling on edge) It's definitely anxiety but caused, not by anything specific, but general life stress. We have spoken so much about what anxiety is, the physical symptoms it causes and that they are feelings that will come and go. I am trying really hard to be positive and not show her I am anxious about her (it's hard, I mess up sometimes but I'm learning) My daughter had a course of hypnotherapy over the holidays which I think have helped a little. She feels nauseous sometime still but doesn't seem to panic over it as much. I know this might not last. My daughter knows that her head is more of a stress bucket and it fills over time and we need to try and find ways to empty it when we can. I found her anxiety morphed and moved around and ended up making her worried about getting food poisoning (I think she became hyper vigilant and the brain looks for threats and latched on to that) I think we all know she's susceptible to anxiety and it will always there but it's a normal human emotion and practising managing it will be a long term thing.

school nowadays is so full on, it doesn't help. I do wonder over half of the school day is pointless and just exhausts the kids. She still has lots of friends, copes with the work but the tiredness is a trigger. I hope your daughter is doing okay? It's so hard on kids today and challenging for us parents. My daughter is a deep thinker, very bright and has a lot of emotional intelligence. I sometimes wonder if she was a bit more immature and shallow she wouldn't experience what she does sometimes.

Sending a hug as I know this is tough, our girls will grow and get through this xxx

I forgot to mention there's a guy called Tim Box on YouTube who has amazing podcasts on anxiety xx