Preparing “young” 10yo for secondary

[Lindtnotlint]

My 10yo DD will be going to secondary next year (likely an all girls private in London, but let’s see). I am interested in hints and tips on how to get her ready. She is very organised and mature so stuff like homework, timetables, lockers etc should be fine. But she is very “young” and not at all cool/streetwise. Would have literally no idea at all about clothing brands, pop music, celebrities, television beyond CBBC and Disney. Likes books, colouring and doing cartwheels.

I don’t want to change her (she’s great!) but is there anything I should or could do to help her be a bit more streetwise/trendy/grownup before secondary? Am very happy to be told the whole idea is dumb - just looking for advice from people who have been there. She is my eldest so I have no idea!

I don't have any advice but I've been thinking the same recently. My oldest is a young 9 and I've wondered what I can do to prepare him for secondary life. Watching with interest!

I don't think you need to change her, especially if as she is sensible and able to handle that side of secondary school. But you could start listening to pop music/watching some more "adult" tv together, to try to shift her onto more grown up culture she's old enough to enjoy.

Does you daughter not go to school at the moment? I can understand not knowing about clothing brands. Also if TV restricted at home I get that she will have limited experience of adult programmes, but not knowing about pop music or celebrities suggests she currently has very little interaction with other children. I grew up in a home with limited TV and no interest in clothes but by age 10 I did listen to pop music on the radio. Other children at school must talk about such things I'd start by allowing a bit more access to popular music.

DD has just started at private secondary from a small rural primary so is definitely not streetwise etc. Neither are any of her new classmates as the secondary school is even more rural.
The school is very strict on uniform including bags + shoes so no opportunity to be fashionable.
Out of school they all tend to be sporty and into rural pursuits so again no need to be streetwise.
I would say the main thing I did to prepare her was talk about how friendships change and to just be her authentic self rather than try to fit in with the popular girls because that's where the drama tends to be.

She had a year to pick all this up. You'll be amazed at the difference in her over this year. Let her be and follow her own path.

@usernother is right, they change so much during Yr 6 that she won't be the same person in July so just let her develop at her own pace.

She goes to school. They don’t spend a lot of time talking about celebrities or music. We don’t listen to the radio at home or in the car. None of our friends have kids this age/older so not much exposure through that route (though she is aware of the concept of a Switch via second cousins). We don’t live a particularly puritanical life - she knows lots of lame 80s things like Star Wars, Dr Who or Indiana Jones and Home Alone! Just doesn’t get much exposure to modern “youth” culture!

I think you're right to worry about this. I was a very young 11 year old in a very gentle primary school and really struggled with the secondary transition because everyone else seemed cooler than me: they had bras, perms, and wore makeup and trendy clothes. I knew nothing about anything.
With DD1 I actively encouraged her with trendier clothes and the latest films and music etc from about Year 5. It helped that some of her friends had older sisters so we knew what was cool.
Wasn't an issue with DD2 as she was far cooler than any of us by the time she was about 8!

I wouldn't worry too much. My not particularly 'cool' DD started secondary last year, a comprehensive in London. She's both made friends with girls similar to her, and developed her interests. Some things she's still not really interested in (fashion, boys) others she has - certain tv programmes, music. It seemed to all happen organically.

The only thing we worked with her on before secondary really was the independence side of things, being safe on the roads, getting the bus alone, feeling confident out and about etc

My dd was a summer born innocent from a teeny tiny church school of 15 pupils to a large inner city comprehensive. Like Dorothy, she knew she wasn’t in Kansas any more, but she quickly adapted.

She still retains the innocent Disney-loving inner child even though she is an adult now. That school was tough, but she admits it gave her an inner resilience and a bigger view of the world that has stood her in good stead.

Don't be too worried, she'll find her own tribe once she gets there.

My DD very much isn't into pop music, although I do have the radio on a lot so she is aware of it. She also isn't in to fashion but she's had a lovely group of friends throughout High School.

They gravitate towards other kids like them with similar interests at secondary.

DS still has little knowledge of celebrities at 17. Celebrities are just random people and he has no interest in them or their lives. Many adults aren't interested, it's nothing to do with being 'young'. He has no interest in brands either, just not what he's into.

I wouldn't worry, she will find her own people.

That's so true. I have very, very little interest in celebrities or brands either and I've managed to form and keep close friendships

I agree.

At a large school there will be a variety of pupils so your DD would be able to find some like minded ones.

However the the private school is small it could be more of an issue.